It is very painful to know that a person whom you have loved and with whom you have shared many moments with him, has come to develop a feeling as deep as hatred towards you. But what is it that can make your ex-partner hate you? There are several reasons why a person may come to harbor a feeling like hatred after a relationship has ended.
In this article in Bigmatrimonial: why my ex hates me, we are going to let you know what are the main reasons your ex-partner can have that deep feeling towards you.
My ex hates me and I did nothing to him: main reasons
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There are many ways in which people can take a love break, depending on the way of being and the perception of the relationship and life in general that each one has, since for some even having gone through a conflictive relationship and that caused a lot of pain, they can keep the learning that this left them, for others, however, it can only be a cause of suffering.
Here are the main reasons why your ex may hate you for no apparent reason:
- He is having a hard time. In the event that you have been responsible for the end of the relationship, it may be that your ex-partner is very hurt by this fact. Since she probably imagined that they would be together for much longer and had certain plans and expectations with you, she is extremely in love with you or simply did not want to lose you. So instead of making her true feelings known and how badly she is going through what happened, she prefers to react hating you because she thinks it is a way to overcome it and calm her pain.
- Very recent relationship breakup. If you are the one who left the relationship and your partner did not want to do it, she may be very hurt and confused right now and this will make her react in this way. Remember that after a love breakup, since it is a loss, depending on the person and the type of relationship they had, they can go through a process of mourning. In this case, your ex-partner may have started in the phase of anger and anger that he feels about this situation. Getting ahead after a breakup is not easy and it is important to allow it to go its own way.
- Ego hurt. Another reason why the ex is hating you right now is because having made the decision to end the relationship, you have hurt her pride and did not accept that it is you who left it and not her.
Why my ex hates me and has a grudge against me
Doing a self-criticism exercise is essential to discover the reasons why your ex does not want to continue to be in contact with you, thinking about those behaviors that you have done wrong in the other person can be a hard but necessary step:
- Bad treatments. If your ex-partner received any kind of physical or psychological abuse from you and especially if this is very recent, it is totally normal that right now he is harboring this type of feeling towards you since you have devalued it and you definitely have not respected. When there is lack of respect in the couple, a normal response is usually hatred and rejection.
- Infidelity. If the reason that your ex-partner and you ended the relationship was because of an infidelity on your part, right now he may be hating you due to the disappointment so great that this must have caused him since he did not feel respected and valued for that action.
- Envy. Another reason your ex hates you right now even though their relationship has even been over for a long time is because it makes him jealous and envious to see how well you are doing in one or more areas of your life. For example, she may know that with your new partner you have a very good relationship and you did not have it, noticing that you are doing very well in your work and not her, among other things.
What to do if my ex hates me? Some advices
- Get away from her. If your ex-partner after a time and having talked to her in a peaceful and well-intentioned way, continues to call or look for you to reproach you for what happened, the problem is only her and not you. So instead of continuing to pretend to have the “party in peace” and make peace with it, the best thing you can do is to get away from it and not continue giving rise to it still searching for you.
- Try to make passes. If for some reason you and your ex-partner have to keep seeing each other, either because they have children in common, because they work together, etc. The best they can do is try to have the best possible relationship. So talk clearly, peacefully and honestly with her and tell her how bad this situation makes you feel and the damage that she may be causing to her children or how damaging that can be for work and try to reach agreements where both give in but also win.
- Apologize. If your case is that the reason your ex hates you is because you have hurt him, asking for forgiveness for what happened and showing your repentance with action is crucial to alleviate that feeling. You must bear in mind that this does not have to be done in order for them to reestablish their relationship again, but rather it has to do with your sense of responsibility and making yourself responsible for your actions assuming whatever the consequences of them.
- Give time to the time. Sometimes a person who is injured, no matter how hard you try to stay in the best conditions with them, will not change their attitude overnight. So it is necessary that you be tolerant and have patience since that person needs time to assume what happened and overcome the situation.
This article is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.