Walk away to be missed?
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Are you trying to find the magic formula to get the person you like to pay more attention to you? Walk away and make him miss you.
But have you stopped to reflect on the effort you are making to make that person want to spend time with you?
I also thought, back in the day, that if I emotionally and physically distance myself from the person in whom I had an interest, he would miss me and realize the value that I really had.
However, it is a very limiting belief that leads us to “beg for love” and in the long run it is not a strategy that works.
Because it does not work?
It doesn’t work, because when you walk away to get valued you are acting for the other person by sacrificing yourself. In reality, the message that is implicit in your actions is: “I do whatever it takes to make you love me, even deny myself.”
Your way of acting has nothing to do with what you really feel and want from the other person. You are sacrificing all your wants and needs so that that person wants to be with you, you even sacrifice yourself.
It is impossible that a relationship in which you do not count, works in the long term. You will always have the feeling that you have to put yourself aside for that relationship to move forward. You will have the feeling that you have to adapt to the conditions and rules of the other. And actually, it is true, because you have not shown yourself as you truly are and the foundation of the relationship will never be solid. You will not be sure what is really between you and you will feel disappointed time and time again.
Life only asks us for one thing to offer us what we need: that we position ourselves. That we do not accept what we no longer want in our life.
And I ask you now, what are you accepting? Do you really think that someone you have to convince to love you or to spend time with you deserves your effort?
The answer is clearly No. But that’s okay, because this experience is showing you that this is not the way. That it is impossible to get love from others through “prayer” and personal unworthiness.
Life wants you to discover the value that you already are. No one is going to love and value you until you do it first. The only way you will be able to feel truly loved is when you connect with your worth and act valuing yourself in relationships with others.
What can you do?
What works in the long term to find love next to another person is:
. Learn to love and respect you . Do you know someone who respects himself, who you feel is valued in his relationships? Use it as a reference for inspiration. Many times, we have not had a clear model of respect and self-care, so we do not know how to take care of ourselves. Invest in it, it is the basis of everything you want to achieve in your life!
. Don’t go after someone you have to chase to make them love you or spend time with you. Doing things with the sole purpose of being loved is the same as begging for love. When we pray for love, we are energetically causing others to move away from us because they feel the burden of having to take charge of our well-being and that only corresponds to us.
. Connect with the value that you already are! It is not about what you do for others, but about the love, care and respect that you offer yourself. When we respect and care for ourselves, others do so as a consequence. If the message you convey is: “anything goes with me” then that is what others understand. You have the right to ask for what you want, to set your own conditions and to express your wishes. You don’t need to annul yourself to maintain a relationship with someone else. Life is full of people who do value and appreciate, but will only come into your life when you connect with your worth. When your internal gaze towards yourself is of consideration.
It is true that when we unconsciously feel unworthy of love, we attract people who do not value us, because we ourselves do not.
And when we begin to change and take care of ourselves, people with whom we do feel valued and whom we do not have to beg and chase to love us begin to come into our lives. Your power always lives within you, never trying to change someone else!
What has been your experience? I would love to read you Leave me your comment!