How to Lead a Relationship at a Distance: 14 Recommendations not to Fail in the Attempt
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Traditional love relationships are complex, just imagine how difficult it is when you are not physically together. Few know how to maintain a long distance relationship, but despite the adversities that arise, there are ways to be successful in the end. Obviously, many people believe that such a relationship will never work, not to mention that people around them, such as family and friends, often don’t collaborate or support these relationships.
We must start by admitting that distance relationships are not within an ideal scenario. The situation sometimes becomes hard and on more than one occasion the couple experiences loneliness and sadness. Thinking of activities and things as simple as holding hands, walking and eating together, stroking your hair, among others, usually mean much more when it comes to long-distance relationships. However, with the right approach, the right mindset, low expectations and the right advice, I assure you that a distance relationship can grow, solidify and achieve success over time.
Relationships at a distance, although difficult, can also surprise you and do not always end up in ruins. With commitment and communication, there are distant relationships that become more stable than that of others who are closer geographically. If you are currently in this scenario and want to learn how to maintain a long distance relationship, then read on and write down these 14 recommendations to get it working:
1. Daily communication: key to how to maintain a long distance relationship
The most natural thing for a couple is to always be in contact, therefore, this aspect should never be neglected. Since face-to-face contact is not possible, it is essential to ensure that the emotional connection is as frequent as possible. It does not imply that the conversations are long or deep. Simply a frequent communication, regardless of its duration, will show the mutual interest and that you invest in time and effort for the relationship. In this way, it is easier to keep up with each other’s daily life. When you spend whole days without any exchange of experiences, by the time you tell it, they have already lost relevance or are no longer of the same interest.
2. Try different communication methods
Together, discover which communication channel is most effective for you. Before staying with a specific one, it is advisable to try several and decide which one suits you best. From simple text messages, emails, (a bit formal, but will depend on taste) video calls, WhatsApp, among others. The important thing is not to lose track of the daily details of each one.
Another valuable recommendation is to stay on top of your schedules. It is possible that your schedules are very different and you must choose a time in which you agree. Also, if one day you will be too busy, do not forget to tell the other in advance. In case you are very free and your partner is usually the busiest, I recommend that you give her her space, that you be more flexible and focus on other things.
3. Avoid excessive communication
Communication is the fundamental key, regardless of the type of relationship, be it at a long distance, be it between friends or whatever. However, when the line is crossed, there will be consequences. Being overly sticky and possessive is not healthy. The reality is that there is no need to communicate 12 continuous a day for the relationship to flow. The mistake of many couples is to think that to compensate for the distance, it is necessary to talk much more. As you can imagine, this is not true. This not only worsens the relationship, but very soon one of them will feel fatigued and not wanting to continue.
Don’t forget that sometimes more is less. It is not about abusing communication, otherwise you will end up getting annoyed. In reality, the correct approach to communication is to develop it at the right times.
4. Take it as an opportunity
It’s amazing how leading a long distance relationship can be a completely enriching and learning experience. The distance can also be seen as an opportunity to test how deep and true the love between you is. Rather than thinking that this distance relationship is separating you, it is better to believe that through this ‘process’ you will both consolidate a noticeably stronger relationship. Did you know that to learn to live in company, you must first learn to live alone?
5. Get your body out of dangerous situations
If you already know very well that your partner does not feel too well that you go alone/alone to a nightclub to drink with your friends, then you only have two options: do not go, or tell your partner that you will go so that least be aware.
It is important that you do not take this lightly, otherwise you will generate a lot of insecurity, suspicions, doubts and, of course, anger. Think that you would put him/her in a position where he / she doesn’t feel control at all, that he / she cannot do anything. It goes without saying that these situations lend themselves perfectly to falling into the traps. What traps? For example, unconsciously you end up dating a colleague or a friend who has been flirting with you since ancient times. The smart thing to do is to assess and be aware of all these risky situations before deciding to venture out. The best advice is to not only listen to your heart, but also the mind.
6. Do things together
Technology and the Internet as such have brought us so close that it is increasingly easier to carry out certain activities together while at a distance. For example, playing video games online, watching a video on YouTube at the same time. If you have a taste for music, you can sing and play via Hangouts or Skype. It is also valid to go for a walk while you have a video call. Wow, almost what you can think of. The possibilities are vast and it is up to you to find what you like the most, be spontaneous and creative.
The internet also opens the door for us to meet people and start a new relationship near you or on the other side of the world. If you want to live the experience of a relationship at a distance or as close as just around the corner, there are tons of dating apps available.
7. Work for the same goal
If there is something irrefutable, it is that it is impossible for a distance relationship to last forever. We are talking about this being something momentary, that eventually will have to return to normal and establish itself as a conventional relationship, together. What do we want in the short and medium term? How long are we going to be apart? Do we see our relationship consolidated in the future? They are all indispensable questions for both of you.
Establish a plan together, draw an objective and the estimated time that you will be separated and on this basis, the main objective. For this, it is crucial that you are in tune and in mutual agreement. In this way, despite not being in the same place or in the same time zone, you will still be motivated to continue working together, towards the same direction and towards the same future side by side.
8. Enjoy time alone, with family and friends
Always remember one thing, in a distance relationship you are alone, but not alone (unless you choose to feel that way). But in reality, you should not allow your world to just think of your partner and miss her. First and foremost, you still have yourself, you should also have the closest family and good friends with whom to enjoy and spend time from time to time. Take advantage of enjoying them more. Take the initiative and go to the gym more frequently and share more there. Practicing a new hobby also helps a lot. If you go see, there are many things you can still do that do not involve your partner.
9. Honesty above all things
As essential as communication is honesty. Talk about your feelings and fears, about your insecurities and jealousy , about apathy and all other feelings that you consider important. When couples start hiding things from their partners, sooner or later that secret will eat away at you. It is better to be honest. On the other hand, don’t try to deal with all the weight yourself. Have your partner help you and you will get all the support you need. Most of the failures of distance relationships are related not to face the problem in the initial stage, but when it is too late and impossible to find a feasible solution.
10. Positive attitude
You cannot always be in a positive and optimistic way. It is normal to suffer a dip from time to time. However, those lows in mood should not be as prolonged. When that happens, remember to inject a good dose of positive energy so that long-distance relationship doesn’t go out and keep the flame burning. The distance and the wait becomes painful and even desperate, loneliness attacks but the key is to remember that in the end, the reward will be great. The end is always sweet and satisfying.
A simple ‘trick’ to get up and be positive is to be grateful at all times. Think that at least you have someone to love, someone cares and is attentive to you, you also feel their affection despite the distance that separates them. Small things are the most special so you should not forget them and show appreciation. If you are both healthy, safe and thriving, that is more than enough reason to stay positive and nurture the love of the relationship.
11. Take advantage of doing activities that your partner does not like
Don’t get me wrong, I am not contradicting myself regarding point number 5. By taking advantage of doing activities that are not to your liking, I mean those that are not of their type. For example, you like to watch movies late at night, but your partner doesn’t like it as much and prefers to sleep early. Take advantage and watch all the movies you want or even a complete series! It is the most precise moment to get rid of that desire because perhaps when you are together you will no longer be able to see so many because your partner wants to sleep. If you did not know how to maintain a long distance relationship, much less take advantage of some aspects, you can see that there is also a good side, let’s call it that.
The reality is that in the XXI century, technology makes it possible to exchange erotic messages through a computer or a mobile phone. It is an opportunity that you cannot miss to satisfy your wishes. I assure you that it will be the best time of the day. It is proof that you really want to be together and helps keep the flame burning. Pictures, very sexual messages and a pinch of imagination will suffice to release a little (or a lot) of tension. Believe me it is very effective and fun.
13. Never make assumptions
Those who are aware of the status of your relationship will surely wonder how to maintain a long distance relationship is possible. Some will even dare to tell you not to get your hopes up, that perhaps it will end in failure because the friend of a cousin of his brother-in-law also failed. Do not believe him! Is not true. It is only when you stop to believe it when then that bad energy, or whatever you prefer to call it, begins to be fulfilled. Always try, as much as you can, to keep a positive mindset and remember that just as many have failed in their distance relationship, the number of couples that have managed to succeed is enormous and you will.
14. Understand that long distance relationships are quite normal
A large percentage (about 75%) of committed and fully established couples have experienced the long distance relationship at some point. These are periods that sometimes come, it is inevitable to face them, but putting all these recommendations into practice, the chances that they will succeed are remarkably higher. Are you in a long distance relationship right now? Tell us what strategies you apply to keep it working.