The decision to make in a process of falling out of love is always personal. However, it is worth looking at this situation as a matter of two. Your falling out of love affects not only you, but also your partner. It is not about making a decision in a day, but neither does this change of feeling take place immediately. Chances are, when you make your final decision, you’ve been reflecting on it for a while. In Bigmatrimonial, we write about this question: “ I have fallen out of love with my partner: what do I do? “
Have I fallen out of love? 6 signs
Sometimes, it is not easy to identify that you have fallen out of love, in the hope that things will change. We give you 6 signs to know if you have loved:
You feel away from that person
even when you are physically close. This distance can be noticed, for example, in different interests in conversations, in the boredom of shared plans in common or in the desire to spend more time alone or with friends than as a couple. When you have fallen out of love, you have a feeling of emptiness, compared to the illusion of previous stages.
You dream of a change in your life
When you visualize your future projecting the present into tomorrow, you experience disappointment because that idea does not make you happy. You spend time reflecting on this need for change even though for the moment you have only stayed on the theoretical plane and have not taken the action.
Negative balance of the last stage of the relationship
There are periods that are very favorable to carry out this balancing exercise from the perspective of time. For example, the anniversary date. When you have fallen out of love, your reading of the relationship reflects this response, not so much because of external circumstances, but because of the very essence of the current state of the situation between the two. For example, the difficulties of communication in the couple.
Lack of motivation
When you have fallen out of love, you can listen to your inner voice to find the ultimate answer. You lack motivation to share time together, to dedicate nice words to the other person or to surprise them. Your partner tells you that you have changed.
You would like to be alone
When you have fallen out of love, you visualize yourself starting a new stage, you feel that you have the need to do it and this idea is becoming a priority for you.
Dissatisfaction with falling out of love can also manifest itself through messages expressed in this tone.
A person who has fallen out of love has several of these and other symptoms of the wanting process. However, remember that each story is unique. Therefore, it is very important that you spend time with you to find your answer.
I have fallen out of love, what do I do? 5 tips
If you meet the above signs and you know that you have fallen out of love, but you do not know what to do, we give you 5 tips:
Contextualize the situation
at the particular moment. For example, you may feel that you are in the initial period of estrangement. In that case, hearing these symptoms, you may want to give yourself time to try to regain the illusion. An answer that will be different if you feel that falling out of love is definitive.
Talk to someone you trust
Verbalize what you feel, express your feelings, share your concern. If you still do not want to involve someone else in this situation, you can write a diary finding in this exercise a space of intimacy.
possible options from your own point of view, observing what changes each decision will bring to your life. It is important that when you make your decision, you assume the consequences of it.
Face this pending conversation
When you have fallen out of love, you have the recurring feeling of this topic hanging between the two of you. Share your decision with the other person, listen to what they have to say, live that moment without drama. This pending conversation does not have to mean only the possibility of communicating the breakup. You may first prefer to share with your partner the doubts you are having. Or you want to communicate your desire to give yourself some time.
Don’t postpone the decision
for a long time. Suffering, in such a situation, grows when you stay at the same point. Listen to your emotions. There are no general answers in a situation of dismay seen universally. Find your own answer starring in this moment from your best version.
4 mistakes to avoid when you have fallen out of love
It is not always easy to know what to do when you have fallen out of love. What is better to avoid?
Stay in the relationship for fear of loneliness
In fact, the loneliness that you can feel when being with a person that you are not in love with, is even greater than that you feel when you are with you. In that case, you not only distance yourself from the other, but also from yourself.
Distract yourself with constant occupation. Another point to avoid when you have fallen out of love is not to think about what is happening to you by being focused on an agenda full of plans and tasks. It is not positive that you only think about this, but neither is it positive that you avoid facing this issue.
Hold yourself responsible for the happiness of the other person
Fear of hurting another’s feelings can cause someone to postpone that pending conversation. If you have fallen out of love, your partner has the right to know.
Stay on the plane of concern but not move on to the plane of action. Worry about this process of falling out of love but do not plan what you are going to do about it. If you find yourself living such a moment, try asking yourself questions that will propel you on the action plane.
Therefore, if you feel that you have fallen out of love with your partner, if you think that you no longer love your partner, share time with yourself to listen to your feelings and find your answer.
This article is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.