Ending a relationship is never easy, much less if it is the other person who ends us. For this reason, we often try to keep in contact with the other person, however, these efforts are often frustrated when the ex deliberately ignores us.
This is when a feeling of emptiness and anger is created because we fail to understand how a person with whom we had a strong bond can go from loving ourselves to ignoring us completely. In Bigmatrimonial we will try to explain in the best possible way Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me and what you can do about it.
But, before starting we have to take into account that the reasons can be very diverse, starting from the basis of whether it was we who ended the relationship or it was the other person.
Why does my ex ignore me
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If the other person has been in charge of ending your love bond, it is very likely that keeping your distance and ignoring you may be due to the different feelings that you may be experiencing. The most likely reasons that your ex will ignore you are:
1. The person continues to have feelings for you
Many times couples do not end the relationship due to lack of love, but because they see in the other person attitudes, behaviors with which they do not feel comfortable, so, before continuing to suffer and being unhappy, they decide to end it. So if this is the case, your ex might try to keep his distance so he can completely forget you.
2. Just play with you
In our society there are many people with manipulative personalities, who just want to feel deep admiration and dependence on the part of others. When these people end a relationship, their only intention is to check how far you are able to go to recover it.
So if at any point in your relationship you have thought or felt that you were dating a person with the characteristics of manipulative, just ignore it too.
3. You need more time
Understanding the causes of a breakup can be a painful process. This point is more oriented in cases where you have been the one to end the relationship.
Usually, couples who finish try to end with the other person in a peaceful way, trying to continue maintaining a good relationship. However, despite ending up in this friendly way, there are times when exes need more time to process the reason why you’re done with them. This does not imply that I will ignore you for the rest of my life, just that I need to understand why your relationship ended.
4. You’ve already broken through
This can be said to be the assumption that no one wants to find ourselves in, since, unconsciously, it is a hard blow to our pride. Since assuming that someone has stopped loving us can be difficult. Especially when our self-esteem is not totally solid and stable. If it really makes you feel very bad that your ex-partner has surpassed you, it is that you base love on yourself or on whether they love you or not.
These cases are easy to identify because we tend to realize it at the moment when we try to recover our ex-partner and she openly refuses to return, firmly assuring that she no longer feels anything and that she has overcome us.
My ex reads my messages but doesn’t answer me
New technologies have led to breakdowns to a new level of dependency since, previously, when you ended up with the other person, it was more difficult to maintain contact.
However, now, thanks to instant messaging, we can try to keep in touch with it through messages, audios, calls, etc. But, that contact attempt is not always reciprocated, right?
There are times when messages are sent which are read by the recipient, but without any response and this creates in us a feeling of pain and abandonment. But before making hasty conclusions for the reasons why the message is ignored, one must consider multiple possibilities:
1. You are no longer a priority in your life
It must be understood that once the relationship ends, your ex-partner has no commitment or obligation to you, so he can talk to you or not. If she does not answer, it is because you are probably no longer a priority person in her life.
2. You are meeting another person or you are already in another relationship
At this point it must be understood that if the other person is initiating links with a third party or is already in another love relationship, it is very common to avoid any contact with his ex-partner.
3. Your ex-partner is resigned, angry or upset
That they end us is always painful and a hard blow for our person, so we have to understand that if we have ended with a person, this may be hurt by our decision. So, when you see a message from us, the first thing you think about is deleting it and ignoring us, thus reimbursing us for the damage we have caused you by leaving you.
4. You want to apply contact 0 to turn the page
It is common for them to avoid falling back into a relationship that they do not want to continue, they decide to avoid and ignore their ex-partner at all costs, including their messages and attempts to contact.
My ex ignores me but doesn’t block me, why?
Again, the reasons why people act in this way can be very diverse and are often related to their personality.
Let’s put the case of a manipulative and narcissistic person, who has ended a relationship or has ended. Despite knowing that they are no longer together, they need to feel that the other person has a dependence on them , so they will unconsciously try to continue being present in their lives. And what better way to do it than by offering them the opportunity to get in touch with them whenever their ex-partner wants it?
People who continue to have feelings towards their ex-partner also act in this way, so that, even if the relationship is over, they cannot end a contact or possibility of contact . So even if they don’t respond to the messages their exs send them, they know they can contact them at any time.
My ex ignores me and it hurts
It is normal to feel hurt and frustrated when we try to maintain or create contact with one person and our attempts to do so are completely ignored by the other person.
As we have been saying throughout the article, at the end of a relationship the feelings towards the other person do not end dramatically, so if we are ignored by them, what could be called a double penalty is created.
This double penalty is formed by feelings of abandonment and indifference . And while the relationship may have been terminated by us, that does not indicate that we cannot feel abandoned when we have the feeling of being ignored.
Therefore, you should know that it is completely normal and understandable to feel hurt when we are ignored by the other person.
What to do when my ex ignores me
You will have heard a thousand tips on what to do if your ex passes you . However, how you want to deal with this situation is up to you alone.
We leave you some questions and situations that can help you reflect:
- What phase of the break are you in? If you have just broken it is highly recommended to keep a certain distance with the other person. If, on the contrary, it has been a while, things change.
- Have you tried to contact him or her? We cannot regret that the other person ignores us if we have not tried to initiate contact with them either. Now, if this contact attempt has been made but has been ignored, it may be due to one of the reasons previously stated.
After analyzing your own situation and that of your ex, you will surely see that it is understandable that your ex does not want to have contact and therefore you must give him his space.
This article Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.