Introduction
Have you ever been with your boyfriend and couldn’t think of anything to say? Have you ever been on a date, and it felt like there wasn’t enough time to talk about things that mattered?
In this article we’ll break down some of the most common reasons why people have nothing to talk about with their significant other. Then we’ll go over how to stop this from happening so that you can enjoy more meaningful conversations together!
If you’re like me, you love talking about yourself. You love sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner, but sometimes it’s just not as easy to come up with new material. After all, how many times can you talk about the weather before it gets boring? Luckily for both of us, there are plenty of topics that keep things interesting even after months or years together!
Label for this section: Introduction
What this section does: Introduces the rest of the blog post
In a friendly tone
Looking for a topic to start a conversation with your bae? We’ve got you covered!
Sometimes, the hardest part of a relationship isn’t having enough time together. It’s having a hard time thinking of things to say when you are together. You know what I’m talking about: You’re at dinner with your boyfriend and all of sudden, silence falls over the conversation as you both stare at each other waiting for one of you to say something. Or maybe it’s just me… Anyway!
Whether it’s because you’re tired from work or school, or simply because there isn’t anything interesting happening in your life at the moment (or maybe even because he said something slightly offensive), sometimes we find ourselves struggling for words when we really want to have an engaging conversation with our significant other but don’t know where to start or how to keep things going once they begin. Fear not! Here are some tips that should help make things easier next time this happens:
What’s your dream vacation?
If you’re like most people, your dream vacation is something that involves shopping for shoes and eating at an expensive restaurant.
But not all dreams are created equal. If your boyfriend is a mountaineering enthusiast, his dream vacation might be climbing Mount Everest. But if you want to go on a hike? Well, then it’s probably not going to be very satisfying for him—or anyone who isn’t into hiking!
So before we talk about what kind of answer would work best in this situation, let’s take a look at some other ways to avoid having nothing interesting to say:
What’s one thing you like about me?
What’s one thing you like about me?
This question will get your boyfriend thinking about what he likes about you, which is a great way to connect on a deeper level and showcase the qualities that attracted him to you in the first place. It also gives him an opportunity to tell you something he’s been holding back from saying (which almost always results in him exclaiming his undying love for you). If this question doesn’t give rise to spontaneous declarations of love, it should at least get your man talking about how awesome it is that he has such an amazing girlfriend like yourself.
What is one thing you can’t live without?
There’s nothing like asking a question that requires thought. This is one of the most important steps in learning about each other, because it helps you to know what topics are important to your partner. If he says something like “I can’t live without my wife and kids,” then you’ll know where his priorities lie.
It can also open up some great conversation topics. You might ask him what he values most in life and why, or what makes him feel fulfilled on a daily basis. You may even find yourself giving him advice on how to improve his quality of life!
What are three things that make you happy?
- What are three things that make you happy?
- I’m a pretty positive person, so there’s not much that will get me down. But I’m happiest when I’m with my friends and family and seeing them smile. There’s nothing like the feeling of being surrounded by people who love you, and it makes me feel so lucky to have such a great support system in my life.
- Do you feel like you are living up to your potential?
- I feel like I’ve done a lot already: gone to college, gotten a job, saved money for retirement… but maybe there’s more out there for me! Maybe there’s something else out there for all of us (you included).
If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
This is a question that allows you to talk about food and gives you an opportunity to discuss how much you enjoy eating delicious things.
What’s your favorite childhood memory?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
- Who was the first celebrity you ever had a crush on? You know, before they became famous.
- What was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you at school or work?
- How did your parents meet (and did they have a story about that)?
These questions will make it easy for you to talk about yourself without seeming like you’re bragging too much or being self-centered. If he doesn’t want to answer any of these questions, then try something else from this list:
Tell me a secret no one else knows.
The secret is you’re dating your best friend’s brother and you want to do the right thing.
The secret is that the two of you are actually in love with each other, but he’s already taken and so are you.
The secret is that none of this is real and it’ll all be over soon.
What makes you insecure and why?
What makes you insecure?
This is a great question to ask your boyfriend because it will allow him to reflect on what bothers him about his own appearance. If he has a problem with acne, for example, and he doesn’t know how to handle it, then asking him this may help him figure out how to handle his insecurity.
What makes you feel confident?
It’s important that we aren’t only concerned with our own insecurities but also those of our partners. By asking this question, you can make sure that there aren’t any habits or behaviors that hurt either one of your feelings during the day or night.
Have you ever contemplated moving out of the country? Where to? Why or why not?
Have you ever contemplated moving out of the country? Where to? Why or why not?
This question is great because it gives you both a chance to talk about what you want for your lives, and also makes it easier for him to open up about his feelings for you. The answer will depend on where his heart is at in terms of moving away from home; if he’s ready to leave behind his parents and friends, then that could be good news for your future together!
If you could travel to any time period, where would you go and what would you do there?
If you could travel to any time period, where would you go and what would you do there?
You can start with a simple question because it will give your boyfriend the chance to talk about something he’s passionate about. You’ll get more comfortable as the conversation progresses and may even be able to share some of your own interests!
Use these questions as conversation starters with your partner. And don’t forget to have fun together!
Talking points:
- How was your day?
- What are you thinking about?
- What did you do today?
Have Fun with Games
- Games are a great way to keep the conversation going.
- If you have a regular game night with your boyfriend, that’s a good opportunity for him to learn more about you and vice versa.
- If neither of you are big on board games, there are plenty of other ways to play around with each other! For example: hide-and-seek and tag work well when done in close quarters (like inside your apartment or house). You can also use this time as an opportunity for physical contact such as tickling or wrestling—it’s very easy to get lost in the moment when playing these games with someone who means something special to you!
Don’t Forget about the Physical Aspect of a Relationship
That’s right, I’m talking about sex. When you’re in a relationship with someone you care about and are attracted to, it’s natural to want to be physical with them. You might think that sex is something reserved for when your relationship has become more serious or after marriage, but this isn’t true at all! It can actually help strengthen your bond as well as keep things exciting in the bedroom (or wherever else you decide).
You should never feel pressured into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable though. If your boyfriend wants sex but doesn’t ask how he can make it more comfortable for you, then consider telling him what would be best in terms of position and props before getting started so he knows how important this issue is to YOU!
Talk about the Past
“Talking about the past is a good way to get started,” says Dr. Smith. “Even if you’ve had a bad day or a fight, it’s best to avoid bringing it up when you want to talk.” Instead, try asking him what he did on his latest business trip or whether he remembers that time you watched all those episodes of The Office together in one night. “There is no need for your boyfriend to know about all the details of your life,” Dr. Smith says, “but it does help if he understands what’s important to you.”
Talk about Your Feelings, Not Just Facts
Talking about feelings is a great way to get a conversation going and let your boyfriend know that you’re interested in hearing what he has to say. For example:
“I feel so bad for that family.”
“I’m excited that we’re finally having this conversation.”
Here are some other ways you can say how you feel:
Discuss Common Interests
If you’re feeling a little tongue-tied, try discussing common interests. This can be an especially good option if you’re not sure what else to say, but it’s also something that will allow you two to get to know each other better. You can talk about the things that interest him or her and ask questions about how they became interested in them. For example:
“What kinds of things do you like to do for fun?”
“Are there any movies or TV shows that are really important to you?”
“What’s your favorite kind of music?”
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Use these tips for when things are down…
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut. If you’ve been together for a while, your partner probably knows all of your go-to topics and things you love to talk about. However, if you’re just starting out with someone new or have been dating for awhile but just want some new material to keep things fresh, there are several ways to break the ice and get talking. Here are five tips on how to start a conversation with your boyfriend:
Take a class together.
Take a class together.
You don’t have to be the same level of student as your boyfriend, but taking a class together will help you bond over something new and important in your lives. This also gives you more context for when he’s sharing his day with you at home.
Go to a comedy show.
When you’re out with your boyfriend and the conversation starts to fizzle, it can be tempting to look at your phone or pull out a book. But why not consider going to see a comedy show? You don’t have to sit through an entire performance—just go for a few minutes and then head back out into the city. You may find that seeing some comedians in person is just what you both need to get back on track.
Plan silly events.
- Plan silly events.
Planning a fun event that is simple and inexpensive can be a great way to spend time together. This can be something as simple as going on a bike ride or picnic, or it could be something more involved like planning a surprise trip for your boyfriend’s birthday. You don’t need to spend money on expensive things when you are with someone who loves you, but instead learn how to make every moment special by being creative in the things that you do together as well as how you communicate about them.
When planning for special events like these, start by brainstorming ideas together until one idea sticks out above the rest. Once this has been decided upon then many different aspects of the event can be discussed such as location choices and transportation options so that both parties are happy with their selection before moving forward into finalizing plans for execution during actualization phase within next few weeks (or months depending on how busy both people are).
Have a spontaneous adventure.
- Have a spontaneous adventure.
- If you’re not sure what to say when you get stuck with your boyfriend, try having a spontaneous adventure together. Go hiking or catch a movie. See what’s happening around you and talk about it. If there’s something funny happening, let him know! You’ll be more likely to come up with funny stories to tell each other later if you can make him laugh now.
Make lists of the things you want to do in life.
Talk about your dreams and goals.
This is one of the best things you can do with your boyfriend, because it’s both a bonding experience (you’re sharing something meaningful) and it will give you both something to talk about. It also helps that he’ll understand what makes you tick just by seeing the things on your list: where you want to travel, the kind of job or career path that appeals to you, what kinds of people interest or annoy you. You’ll be able to see where he stands on these issues as well!
Keep a journal for him to read.
- Tell him about your day
- Talk about your hobbies and interests
- Make him laugh with a few jokes or stories.
Pretend to be tourists in your city and see new things.
If you have never been to a place, or if you have not been in a long time, this is something to do! Try out new restaurants and see what’s new in the city. You might be surprised by how much fun it is to explore with someone else who is genuinely excited about seeing things for the first time again.
Other ways that men like their women: Sweet, kind-hearted and caring; An independent woman; Someone who has their life together (e.g., works hard and has goals); A woman with a good sense of humor
Watch old movies or try out new ones.
- Watch old movies or try out new ones.
- Play video games together, if you both enjoy that sort of thing.
- Read books together, if you have the same taste in literature.
- Get creative and make something together, like a collage or a scrapbook.
Talk about your passions, not “what you did today.”
Talking about your passions is a great way to get your boyfriend talking. If you’re into home decor, ask him where he likes to go for furniture shopping or if he has any ideas for how to make your living room feel more cozy. If you’re both into cars, talk about what kind of car he wants when his lease is up.
If you don’t feel comfortable bringing up these topics yet, that’s okay! Just listen and respond with questions of your own or affirmations that show interest in what he’s saying. This will help him open up more in the future! There are no wrong answers here—just be honest about who you are and what interests you most so that eventually those interests can overlap with his own!
Role play (just not role play).
- Role play (just not role play).
- Try to be the opposite of your current self.
- Have a conversation with yourself.
There are many things you can do with someone that have nothing to do with talking
With so many things to do, you can use the time to get to know each other better and build trust in your relationship. You might want to consider taking a class together, learning an instrument or even just going on a date where there are no distractions.
If you’re still struggling to find something to talk about with your boyfriend, try some of these ideas:
What’s something you’re into right now that you never thought you would be?
“What’s something you’re into right now that you never thought you would be?”
This is a great question to ask because it allows your boyfriend to share something about his interests with you. Maybe he’s always been a Star Wars fan, but he hasn’t mentioned it in awhile. Or maybe he never used to like seafood and now he does. Either way, he’ll appreciate that you’re trying out new things with him and showing an interest in what matters most to him.
If you could spend a day inside a fictional world, what world would it be and what would you do there?
- If you could spend a day inside a fictional world, what world would it be and what would you do there?
- What’s your favorite book, TV show, or movie right now?
- Who are your top three favorite authors and why?
What was your favorite thing to do as a child?
- What was your favorite thing to do as a child?
This question is great because it’s fun, but also easy to answer. If you have nothing else to talk about, it’s still possible that this question will give you something to talk about!
- What kind of music do you like?
If he says country or rap-metal or whatever, then go with it and talk about that for a while. But if he says opera or classical music (or even just “rock” or “pop”), then ask him what kind of bands/singers/groups his favorites are. Then mention some of your favorites too and see if there’s overlap. Threads can be started anywhere!
What music makes you happy?
- What music makes you happy?
If you want to know a guy’s personality, ask him about his favorite bands and albums. If he doesn’t like rap, he’s probably not going to be down with your favorite Drake song. If that were the case, I’d be all set because I don’t have any kind of relationship with Drake or anyone else who raps for that matter. But as long as we’re talking about this stuff, let me tell you what my current favorite band is: The National! Their album High Violet is one of my all-time faves and I’m always excited when they come out with new music (their most recent release was in 2017).
What’s your dream job? Do you have one specific job in mind, or would you just like to explore different fields?
- “What’s your dream job? Do you have one specific job in mind, or would you just like to explore different fields?”
- “You’re so handsome!”
- “You’re so intelligent!”
What are your favorite things to do outside of work/school? Does that change when the seasons do?
- I love to hike, but I’m not very good at it. If I go on a trail for more than 15 minutes, I’ll get lost and then have to turn around and head back the way I came. The only hiking trail that’s ever been successful for me is one in Central Park that has no real turns or inclines where you can get lost. Also it takes about 10 minutes max! So if you’re looking for an easy day trip, we should totally go together sometime!
- When they change? Well now that you mention it… my favorite place to walk when the weather’s nice is the river right near my house! There’s this great little park with picnic tables by the water—it’s so peaceful there. Plus there are ducks everywhere who come up and eat bread from your hands! It’s adorable as hell!
If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Well, that’s a great question. I think I’d go with…uh…I don’t know. What do you think?
Maybe we can go out for dinner and talk about it later this week!
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I be talkative with my boyfriend?
– Asking questions is a great way to get your boyfriend talking! It’s also a great way to get him to open up to you and share his thoughts with you.
Can a relationship survive without talking?
Well, that depends on what you mean by “survive.”
If you’re talking about a relationship where the two people are living together and have been for some time, then yes, that relationship can survive without talking.
But if you mean a romantic relationship, then no way! A relationship is not going to last without communication.
Why do I struggle to make conversation with my boyfriend?
I struggle to make conversation with my boyfriend because:
- We have nothing in common
- He won’t talk about anything that actually matters
- He just makes observations, but never asks questions or tries to understand me
- -I have a tendency to speak about myself instead of asking questions about him.
- -I don’t know what he likes and dislikes.
- -I don’t know what topics he’s interested in, so I don’t ask him anything related to those areas.
- -We don’t share any interests or hobbies.
- I’m scared of saying the wrong thing
- I don’t want to bore him
- I’m not sure what he’s interested in
- He never talks about anything but his job
How do you know you’re tired of your relationship?
-You don’t feel like yourself around your partner
-Your relationship feels like a chore
-You’re not excited to see him/her
-You’re not excited to talk to him/her on the phone, or look at their messages
-You’re bored when you’re with them
Takeaway:
- Be open to talking about whatever your boyfriend wants to talk about.
- Try to get into a positive mindset so that you can be excited by the things he has to say.
- Make an effort to listen and actively participate in the conversation.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.