Why does he ignore me when fighting?
Why is he ignoring?
- Reason 1. Thinks about his own.
- Reason 2. You talk all the time.
- Reason 3. Laziness.
- Reason 4. He doesn’t know what to say.
- Reason 5. He’s hiding something.
- Reason 6. He is unhappy.
Now let’s take a closer look at each of these reasons.
Reason 1. Thinks about his own.
Remember the anecdote about a boy who was silent for 18 years, and then suddenly announced during lunch: “The soup is too salty.” When asked why he had been silent before, he replied: “Before, everything was fine.”
The same is here. He is silent because he has nothing to say. He is not interested in your topics. All this (from his point of view) is vanity. This does not mean he is indifferent to you. It’s just that there are other topics in his mind now.
Men think about everything carefully and globally, but it is difficult for them to think thoroughly and globally in several streams at once. They cannot, like women, solve several issues at once: which school to send the child to, and draw up a menu for a week, and calculate the amount of the bonus for the completed project. Just one thing.
Therefore, if your husband is now in his thoughts somewhere far away, he cannot switch. Physically. That is, in fact, he simply does not hear you. He needs to make an effort over himself to hear. It is likely that he does not want to make this effort. Because I haven’t thought out my own idea yet.
Reason 2. You talk all the time.
No offense. How can he say something if you are not giving him the opportunity?
They say that this is a purely female folk amusement: she thought it up herself, she was offended herself, she changed her mind, she is a fine fellow.
That is, you talk-talk-talk.
Maybe, of course, you sometimes insert your speech questions to him. And he makes an effort on himself, which was not in the first paragraph. Here his mind begins to process your request. Input data. Formulation of the problem. Now there will be task processing….
And then – bam! You are already continuing the conversation. Moreover, you continue with the words: “Well, you are silent again!”
No, men are not slow-witted. They are thorough. And this, by the way, is good! You yourself want the man not to be frivolous. Men “get hot” more slowly. They need more time to “engage” in the dialogue.
Reason 3. Laziness.
Fair. This is a perfectly normal excuse for a man not to participate in a conversation. Because he is used to the fact that you will now talk-talk-talk, and you will come up with something yourself.
Remember the anecdote:
“Darling, why are you so late? He was late at work, right? Why drunk? A colleague’s birthday, right? Why is all in lipstick? ” – “Honey, you are smart with me, think of something yourself!”
It’s a matter of habit. Consider this a manifestation of extreme trust in you.
Reason 4. He doesn’t know what to say.
Before that, I described quite simple situations to you. But it happens that you start a serious conversation, behave attentively. Take long pauses for him to think. But he is still silent.
Do you know what “male pride” is? There are beautiful terms about the “male self”, but we will not talk about the complex.
Let’s make it easier. The man does not ask for directions. The man is looking for himself. Likewise: A man does not say, “I don’t know.” The man is silent.
He may look for the answer and not find it. But he won’t tell you aloud.
Don’t play on someone else’s pride.
Reason 5. He’s hiding something.
Yes, that happens too.
From my experience, sometimes in such a situation, it is better to keep silent, and you – wait. Something in his soul is “cooking”. Processes are in progress. Sometimes you don’t need to know the “truth-womb” until the husband himself is ripe to speak out.
A couple husband and wife, long married. The family has not been so smooth lately.
The husband became silent. The wife provoked-provoked to the revelation. In the end, I got it. The husband said that he had been thinking about divorce for a long time. But I felt sorry for the children and hoped that everything would work out. Now she showed herself from the worst side. He doesn’t want anything else, only to run away. Got it out.
And running. Taking everything. Until now, a woman beats out child support by force.
Yes, of course, my husband – ah-ah-ay is not at all good. But, restrain yourself, wife, even if they parted humanly, if not friends, but at least not enemies. She now understands that.
By the way, the husband can not always hide the insidious plans against you. There are cockroaches in his head. Sometimes you need to give him the opportunity to build “cockroaches” in ranks. So that they go out of his head in united ranks.
Reason 6. He is unhappy.
Let me explain now.
A man also has a soul, this is verified. And in his soul there are also sufferings, doubts, experiences. Only if a woman most often wants to immediately share her experiences with the Beloved, then the Beloved will rather keep everything to herself. Until he thinks it over and thinks it over again.
As long as he thinks, don’t touch him.
If a man is silent, this is probably not because he is stupid and uninitiated. Think for yourself, could you marry a stupid and uninitiated? Hardly. Then just try to make him want to talk to you. Read also Statuses about time with a meaning wise
Why, after quarrels and insults, a man is ignoring
In men, the need to talk is much less pronounced than in women. This is their normal state. The guy is silent when he is tired, feels pain, thinks when he is too lazy to talk.
- If two friends are silent, then they are thinking or have already discussed everything.
- If 2 friends fell silent, most likely, they were offended, and something went wrong.
Men are silent after the conflict, as they need to restore strength, nerves, and comprehend the scandal. They take women’s emotions very hard, the more screams and tears in a quarrel, the longer they will leave.
Important! If there is a need to convey something to a man, you need to speak calmly and clearly, preferably in advance, until so many resentments and pain have accumulated in your soul that it is difficult to voice this lump without emotion.
It is possible that a man after a quarrel is not angry, but thinks. Or he is recovering, because he understands that the resumption of the conversation will now lead to the continuation of the scandal. Often a man is silent when he is unable to communicate.
Analyzing a quarrel is more of a woman’s habit. The masculine way to react to a scandal is simply to forget about it.
If a man is silent after a conflict or quarrel, psychology explains this for a number of reasons:
- Recovers from a storm of emotions;
- Offended. Although this applies more to infantile and selfish individuals. A mature man will begin to think about how to change the situation;
- Desire to manipulate or take revenge. In this way he punishes the woman, makes her obey;
- Ashamed of my behavior in a quarrel. If a man is on emotions, it is difficult for him to think reasonably. As a result, when he calms down and begins to comprehend the behavior, he himself is shocked how he could act or respond. It is difficult for a man to ask for forgiveness, although he understands that he is wrong. Then he will be grateful if the woman takes the first step towards reconciliation.
- Indifference. The guy does not really care about the girl, he considers quarrels to be a common thing and forgets almost immediately. He is simply silent, not demonstratively and without a strategy, but because it is normal for him.
Reasons for ignoring in men
- Does not love. For a woman, relationships and family come first. When they are not there, the girl is able to draw love for herself where in reality there was only politeness and courtesy. The man tries to distance himself and ignores the girl when he realizes that his gallantry is misinterpreted.
- Afraid that he is not worthy. The guy is shy from birth or is so in love that he thinks he is not rich enough or handsome enough. Sometimes past negative experience influences – fear (which is rejected again) interferes with expressing feelings.
- Doesn’t want a serious relationship. He considers himself a Don Juan, in love with freedom. As soon as it comes to responsibility, the affectionate admirer disappears or ignores.
- The girl stopped liking, and the man wants to break the connection. Maybe he feels unnecessary next to a woman who is too proactive and independent.
- Strategic move. To win a girl with normal self-esteem, you need to try: listen, help, give gifts. If you sometimes disappear and ignore, a woman’s self-esteem will drop and soon you can take possession of her without much effort.
- The man is offended and therefore ignores.
- The past relationship is not fully lived through. The guy is afraid of a new feeling, because he knows how it can turn out.
- The man is married, has children, and intends, despite falling in love, to remain in the family. He will try to hide his feelings. The best way to do this is to ignore. Or a young man loves a married woman, but is afraid of the spouse’s reaction.
- At the initial stage of a relationship, a man may move away if he is not sure of his feelings , and he needs time to sort out himself.
- A young man, by virtue of his upbringing and accumulated experience, expects an initiative from the girl .
- He is repulsed by something in the behavior of his beloved . For example, a woman smokes, and he is sure that he wants healthy children.
- A man is in love, but low self-esteem and inability to communicate with the opposite sex force him to choose such a strategy of behavior.
- A coworker ignores, despite love, for fear of gossip, or because the company forbids personal relationships between employees.
- If a man constantly ignores a woman, it is quite possible that he unequivocally hinted at his feelings, but the girl did not guess or pretended not to understand. In this case, he will avoid her, amazed by callousness.
Important! Guys are very offended by discussion of intimate life with friends, quarrels with his mother and relatives, lack of affection and care, condemnation of a man’s friends or hobbies.
Why does my husband ignore
A woman is particularly worried and painful by the indifference of her marriage partner. A loved one can behave this way if a serious problem has arisen, and he is trying to solve it, when he found a mistress, was offended, or the relationship became so familiar that he stopped appreciating them.
Wrong behavior of a woman can lead to the fact that a man will cease to notice her: she has forgotten herself so much and dissolved in her husband that she has become uninteresting; does not respect the spouse, does not trust, interferes all the time and gives advice, or is used to tolerating unworthy actions and forgives everything.
Important! Demonstrative prolonged ignorance is an attempt to manipulate a woman, break her self-esteem, instill in her a sense of guilt. He likes to watch how she is going through, torture her for her “brains out” (or simply because he feels bad himself). It is torture for a woman to live in complete silence. Most likely, the partner wants to break the connection or provoke a divorce.
Can a man love and ignore
This really happens simultaneously in the following cases:
- If a man has psychological problems that prevent him from speaking (shyness, inability to communicate with women, trauma from past relationships);
- Fear (being rejected, gossiping or being fired at work, taking the initiative);
- Insult ;
- At the initial stage, when he looks closely at the girl, he comprehends feelings ;
- In love , but something in the woman’s behavior contradicts his views on the world;
- Cools down and recovers after a quarrel . Usually, in this case, the man will not ignore for long. After 3 hours, at most a day, he is again ready to communicate, ask for forgiveness or wait for an apology, depending on who was wrong.
On a note. Often the one who loves apologizes, because for him the preservation of the relationship is more important than his own righteousness.
Resentment in family relationships: the husband is constantly offended by trifles and is silent
Think about what changed your relationship and made it worse than it was before the wedding.
Was the relationship before marriage the same? If so, then most likely you have no experience with him to solve family issues differently. This experience is gained through frank conversation and building trust in the marriage. Read also VK Status with funny emoticons
If this has not happened before, then this may be due to expectations for the role of a wife: by agreeing to marry him, you kind of put an end to him seeking you, and now it is your turn to show love.
At the same time, the wishes of the spouse may be fair, perhaps he himself does not stop caring about you, but in return he does not feel support.
How to understand that a man is offended by you
Now about the mechanisms of the emergence of negativity in emotions and how a man expresses them.
How a man takes offense at a woman
Common signs are silence and withdrawal from the woman. Do not try to fix everything at once, give yourself and him time and personal space to think and cool down.
If the offense is given time to infuse, this can aggravate the situation.
Anyone who does not play with offended feelings will appreciate this act and will take the first step towards reconciliation himself.
The man is offended and ignores
The faithful can ignore you in order not to inflate an even greater conflict in resentment. Use this situation to your advantage and only make contact when he wants to. During this time, you will be able to sort out your feelings and formulate what you want to discuss.
Pay attention to the nature of your relationship, is it serious and long enough? Perhaps the chosen one has found a reason to be offended and ignores, because he no longer wants to be in touch with you, but does not know how to say it?
Try to resist the urge to find out everything at once, pause and then ask him to have a heart-to-heart talk.
The man is offended and is silent at a distance
Silence after a quarrel does not always mean unwillingness to speak with a partner; men often have less experience of expressing feelings than women and are afraid to share them.
Things get complicated if you are far from each other: he is not ready to share his feelings anyway, and from a distance he has no way to make sure that the conversation is safe and his words will be correctly understood.
Try to gently apologize if you know you’re at fault, offer to postpone the decision until the time of the meeting, or let him know that you can talk about what happened as soon as he is ready.
Why does a man take offense at a woman
What is most often the basis of anger towards partners?
Negativeness of one of the partners does not mean that someone else is to blame.
You can offend your loved one if you are indifferent or negative about their hobbies, friends and family, neglect feelings, criticize sex or the choice of gifts.
Worried about something in this area? This is a reason for discussion, not a reason to say unpleasant things. Before talking, think about your feelings for your loved one, why has your attitude towards him or his environment changed?
Look at the problem from the other side: what is your attitude towards your parents, girlfriends, hobbies? Is what you do accepted with interest and understanding? If so, try to do the same. If not, perhaps you are attacking in revenge?
What if vulnerability is a character trait of a guy or husband? Any rash step or harsh word can be a cause for grief. Try to be softer towards him, but you need to know that vulnerability has been formed since childhood and you cannot completely get rid of it.
Not sure about the reciprocal feelings
A young man, unsure of the reciprocal feelings, can pretend to sulk in order to receive a declaration of love or push him to a romantic act.
Prove serious intentions, without coercion, arrange a date in which it will be comfortable to share plans and worries about a joint future.
Unreasonable insult, insult over trifles
What is a trifle for one person is very important for another. First, figure out if the beloved is really offended. Putting yourself in his place, you can quickly find a way out.
Do not focus on this and choose an opportune time to talk and establish communication rules.
The man was jealous
The reason for disagreement can be not only open molestation of you by another.
You can also be jealous for discussing your relationships with people of the opposite sex, especially in his presence, as well as touching and hinting from friends and acquaintances.
Put on the crown
When a man “puts on a crown,” he may pretend to be offended and cultivate guilt in you. So he tries to make him do what he wants, and in return you will still love and respect him.
Put him in his place, show that you will break up with him if the attitude towards you does not change.
Offended a man what to do
Let’s look for solutions to problems – what to do when you are the initiator.
How to understand the situation
To maintain intimacy, it is important to talk frankly and let the man speak, without interrupting, even if you disagree. Read also Short statuses with a meaning cool wise
Don’t share problems with family and friends. This is amateur help, but this way you ruin their relationship with a boyfriend or spouse.
What tactics of interaction to choose
You can only figure out why your partner is offended. Tactics you’ve used in other relationships may not work, so try to make decisions based on your experience with your man.
Give time for both to think and cool down after discovering differences. Apologize if you are at fault and discuss the reason that caused the offense.
What to write to a guy so that he stops being offended
How to describe feelings correctly if it is difficult to express them live? If you feel guilty, write down why you did this, what conclusions you made for yourself and sincerely ask for forgiveness.
If the subject of love does not respond or is silent, do not bother him with calls and messages, perhaps he wants to pause.
How to apologize
Apologize when you meet in private. Before doing this, acknowledge and accept the guilt. Express regret for what happened, but do not try to blame him or the circumstances.
The main thing is not to allow gifts to solve problems. It definitely doesn’t have good relationship prospects.
Try to make amends – present a gift or do something nice to your loved one. If the apology is not accepted, leave the person alone and wait for the first step.
How to get a man to talk?
If the husband is silent after a quarrel, the advice of a psychologist gives one good direction. You will need to do the same in response. Be silent and do not talk with your loved one, sometimes even make a sad face at the same time. This technique will provide you with a talkative man in the very near future.
Are there any ways to wean your husband to be silent after a quarrel? You probably need to communicate with him more often so that he does not feel lonely. Then he will be more sociable, and all quarrels will be much easier.
One good piece of advice for keeping a man out of his mouth is just don’t fight.
If your loved one has already developed this reaction, chances are you fight very often. This is a reason to think about how to correctly rethink everything and start a new life, where there will be much less disagreement between you.
Among the reasons why a man doesn’t want to talk is simply a desire to be alone. At the time of the quarrel, you might have raised some special topics that negatively affected your loved one. That is why you should not be surprised if he needs at least a few days to recover. You cannot put pressure on your beloved, you are already guilty of a quarrel.
So be lenient and reap the benefits without resorting to any special measures. If he is silent, then you just offended, you need to understand this. Treat a man with understanding, because then he himself will want to take a step towards, namely, his silence can simply disappear and you will never meet on the way again.
What to do when he ignores you after an argument?
If a man is ignoring, it is important to understand the reason. Maybe there was no sympathy, or his feelings cooled down, then all that remains is to reconcile.
- When a guy is not ready for a serious relationship, then you need to step back, wait a while, then continue unobtrusive communication without mentioning plans for the future.
- If you want confidence in the future, you should look for a more mature and responsible partner.
- If a man is very angry and ignores him because he is disappointed or has lost interest, then one cannot ignore him in response or sort things out. It’s best to keep chatting as friends, but remember to flirt from time to time.
A man can become psychologically stuck in reliving past relationships. Then time and a frank conversation will help. Sometimes it happens that fear prevents a guy from opening up. In this case, it can be hinted that the feelings are mutual. To provoke a conversation by sitting down with him at a table in a cafe, or to flirt in front of him with another man, so that the fear of losing a girl forced him to do something.
Important! If the blackout is special and associated with the strategy of conquest, then it is better to avoid communication. In an extreme case, it is worth getting down to business and not succumbing to manipulation, once and for all explain that “you cannot do this to me.” Most likely, the strategist will look for another victim or come back and behave like human beings.
When your husband ignores
It can be very difficult to save a marriage, especially when the work requires a lot of time and nerves, and the house and children cannot be without attention and care. If the next quarrel led to the fact that the husband was silent for a long time and stopped noticing his wife, it is necessary:
- Let it cool down and think. At the height of the quarrel, “silence is gold”;
- Learn to ask for forgiveness;
- Psychology considers ignorance of a beloved man by a woman to be a dangerous occupation, accumulated resentment and anger kill love;
- There is no need to endure indifference, it is better to try to start communicating with notes on the refrigerator, messages on the phone, via e-mail;
- Learn to hear each other.
- Give the man more personal space.
- Allow to get bored, not to twitch, if after 2 days does not return, to talk seriously.
- Before the conversation, put yourself in order.
- Present information without emotion, honestly, listen carefully, with respect.
- You can write a message 1 time. Then wait patiently for an answer.
- A man loves his condition next to a woman. If he feels like a hero, a breadwinner and a protector, he will hold on to her strongly. It is necessary to allow the guy to help, to make sincere compliments.
Why does a man either show interest or ignore? This is an attempt at manipulation and a bad joke with the girl’s self-esteem.
Important! A woman should appreciate herself, feel confident, have adequate self-esteem. True love for the world and others begins with yourself.
In some cases, a man can love and ignore. However, a demonstrative and prolonged blackout is not love, but indifference to the feelings of a partner.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.