When we are interested in someone, whether we have met online, face to face, and liking each other, we reach the magic point of proposing a date. And for this, the first thing is to know what to say when you propose.
Having online conversations is fun, but we have to take that step. If it’s not like playing soccer and not scoring a goal, like going to the fountain and not drinking water, and many other examples ?
This is not always easy for us, and we can doubt.
When we like someone less, it is easier for us to know what to do and what not to do, and we become less nervous. When we face proposing a date to someone we like a lot, things change because we don’t feel so safe, and our proposal can lose strength.
In this article, we will discuss how to optimize the entire process so that the person you like says yes as easily as a child’s play.
Table of Contents
- When to propose an appointment online (or in-person)
- It’s time for the truth
- What to say when you propose irrevocably
- What do I do if the answer is yes?
- Final tip
And it will also serve you not only for people you have met online, but also face to face ?
When to propose an appointment online (or in-person)
Think about this.
How would you react if someone stops you on the street and asks you to go on a trip together?
You will surely think that it is not right in the head, or that it is a hidden camera joke.
And someone you know very little?
You may think it’s a good idea, but you’re more likely to think it’s too early to embark on that adventure and possibly say no.
When making an appointment for a lookalike. Sometimes, there are a few moments or, if you prefer to see it like this, a “buying temperature.”
It is not the same to try to sell someone something that you see the need for. Either you think you need it little or are unsure if it is a good idea to buy it.
To keep it simple, let’s think about the link that has existed up to that point. This is as much as if you do not know each other, you know each other little, or you are friends and colleagues or studies for a long time.
Let’s look at each case to best ask for that first date and tend to get it. At what point are you. Understanding it will increase the chances that they will say yes.
1. How to propose a date if you are two strangers
This is the case of that person that you see from time to time, with whom you come across or who perhaps works in some place that you usually pass through in your day to day.
Let’s get to the point. Even if you think that he is the most wonderful person in the world, or something makes you intuit that it will go well, we are not in a romantic Hollywood movie where these wonderful stories are given.
You will have to meet each other before, and for this there are several ways.
If you have never exchanged a word, and not even looks, you can try something shocking, like:
“I know this is not the usual thing, but I really wanted to come and greet you.”
Note that we are not asking for an appointment. She doesn’t know you, let’s think again about the example of stopping someone on the street and asking to travel together.
If you have already visually fixed on each other, you can approach in a fully justified way with something like this
“Good morning, sorry to interrupt you … I wanted to go over to greet you. It turns out that you seemed to me … “
After that we say an adjective that can define that person. That is, naturally and try to start a conversation.
This is what we recommend as it is the most fluid way to start a conversation.
Thus, this will allow you to arrive to have a conversation of discovery and therefore to get to know a little, which will be easier for everything that may come later, in this case to see you again.
2. How to propose a date if you know each other little or for a short time
If you know each other little and it seems that there is some sympathy, you will be in a favorable situation. You may have already spoken on occasion, that there is a certain sympathy.
Here we must go one step further. Go for it and propose to take one more step:
“Hey, we’ve known each other for x time. The truth is that speaking I think we would be comfortable going somewhere to have a drink together. How about Thursday before dinner for half an hour?
In other words, the proposal must be easy to accept.
Stay in a public place where the environment is pleasant, with a time limitation (say half an hour). If you are comfortable, do not worry that you will stay longer, and you can even joke about breaking that previous agreement.
3. How to propose a date if the relationship is long or you are friends
Here you want to continue moving forward and more than change, expand the type of relationship you have.
You should act sincerely and assertively saying that, although you are not going to stop being friends, for your part, you do not rule out that it is someone you would like to know better.
I take the opportunity to say here that at any of these points things like “imagine you’re a 60-year-old lady” or someone you don’t like don’t work to make you feel less nervous.
They can work something in the short term, but it contradicts a well-proven fact, which is that the way to get used to something and reduce anxiety – for example by asking for a date – is to do it the more times the better and not deceive ourselves.
Friendship is not going to be lost by taking another step. It can even strengthen it, because we will be being honest with each other.
4. What to say when you propose if you already like it
It may seem like a no-brainer here, if you already like each other it should be easy to propose a date. Ah friend … but it doesn’t always turn out like this.
Sometimes asking for a date with someone who already has an attraction can be like going on a roller coaster if we suffer from vertigo.
What if they really are my imaginations?
We may really like each other, but what if I’m wrong?
What if I tell him and he says no?
What if I ask him, he accepts, but on the date we stop liking each other?
Our mind creates as many unfavorable situations as it can, on some occasions we are going to prove it wrong!
99% of the time what we fear does not happen. If we have the feeling that we like each other with someone … most likely it is.
Either explicitly, or implicitly, if we have that feeling it is likely that that person is attracted to us and vice versa.
The logical next step will be to propose to meet. Take that step, propose, invite. You will thank yourself and that person will thank you.
Above we were saying to make it easy. This is still the case. Below you will find the way to make your proposal almost irrefutable.
It’s time for the truth
In this key the rest of the advice will be supported, that is, regarding the proposal. We have to end up stating our intentions.
And these are good! It can be a win – win for both of you. And sometimes the difference is in saying or not saying. In launching our invitation.
We have two options, to be direct or to be indirect.
Being indirect in our proposals we can get the other person to end up looking at us, of course we do … but nothing guarantees it.
If we think that at lunch in the cafeteria or when we have a free hour in college, this person can end up noticing us, right. This type of situation has always happened and will continue to happen. Chance or the simple fact of coinciding has ended up uniting many people.
It can be good for us, if we take advantage of the interactions and show our personality. Sometimes you do not have to do anything for the other to notice you, the attraction is not a choice. But there will be cases where we will have to do more.
Now, being direct is how I assure you that the other person will focus more on you yes or yes. There we will be traveling that space that separates you at that moment, and doing it head-on.
When someone acts directly and honestly with us, they impact us, they go from being a neutral person to being someone susceptible to liking us. Propose your date in a justified way and the dynamics between you will begin to change.
Regarding the usual behavior of all of us, I clearly recommend that you be direct. Relationships have evolved and they are occupying another social role more in line with the 21st century, but friend, those who go for what they want and show what they want without masks are still highly appreciated.
This means, if you want it in a subtle way, showing interest in who you like. By the way, we all love this, don’t forget.
Crossing this space that separates you in a straight line and not in a circle, in addition, you will be separating yourself from other people who flutter next to your love object. In this way we act as honest, sincere, assertive people who go for what they want. And this is very attractive.
What to say when you propose irrevocably
Imagine that a person hits a plan that they would like to do with you and impacts you with it, seeming to hit your desires and your tastes.
This is easier if the other already knows us and works out what we might like to do. It is a show of interest (advice: cut it since that person interests you).
Let’s say who you want to have a future date with acts in a dance group and they premiere a work of theirs. Well, you buy a ticket, you go to see the show and then tell him what you thought and the emotions that it caused you.
It’s not about doing weird things, but rather different from what other people would do. Stand out. If you do well, it will be wonderful. If it turns out less well, you’ll have the satisfaction of trying by putting all the meat on the grill.
On the other hand there are plans that are difficult to reject. Imagine they tell you:
“This Friday I have a party at my family’s chalet. It is a place with a huge garden, we will have dinner right there, some friends who have a jazz band will come to play, whoever wants to can sleep there without problems. There will be a lot of cool people coming, boys and girls, and I’d love for you to come. Without you the party will be less party. Also, to feel more comfortable, invite one of your friends if you want ”.
Would you reject it easily? You follow me …
The specific case of the first date with someone you have met online
Here we are still going to make it easier to propose to meet. Taking that step from talking online to doing it face-to-face needs the process to go more smoothly if possible.
We are going to propose that you focus on two things. The first is going to be pulling (even more) humor. That is, take away the iron from the matter of meeting face to face for the first time.
Note that you can both be nervous, and a sense of humor is always something that allows both people to relax and see the good side of it.
You have many formulas for it. We give you a couple:
“X, I was thinking today that it is not something that (this app or website) goes bankrupt and closes … you and I should meet in person. How about? ? I want even more than being awarded a Nobel Prize. “
“They say that short distances are where a man’s colony is at stake. I don’t know if it’s true, but I want to see if it’s true. We should meet this week to meet! “
The second, detects the objections that the person may have. In a face-to-face conversation we have the invaluable information of non-verbal communication. Not online, so we must ask directly.
“X I’m thinking that it would be great to get to know each other. I asked you a week ago and you didn’t answer me, although we have continued talking. It would be great if you could tell me if there is something preventing it, or what do you think of the idea ”.
Between the first meeting and the next
A very common situation, we meet on a Friday night, we talk, we give each other a form of contact and we decide to talk to each other again.
How many beginnings of a relationship or future appointments have fallen at this transit point.
Perhaps at that time we cannot have an instant appointment and therefore we ask for the contact. Let’s see what we can do so that from that initial meeting we can set up a successful appointment. We will have to deal with the uncertainty.
The key here is why are we going to meet and talk to each other again. Like it a bit may be reason enough but incomplete.
On this same website you can find a lot of material on how to flirt by WhatsApp or similar programs, remotely, even advice on what to say when we call. All this can be useful but it is based 100% on the previous work that we have done face to face with the person.
Did you see us as trustworthy?
Do we sexualize and make our interest clear to him?
Do we allow our way of being to emerge without barriers?
If so, we will have managed to leave a mark and remind us. Here we are going to use the following scheme to justify our quote.
I give you another example:
“Tamara, I was very comfortable talking to you on Saturday. I remember that we discussed the topic of having a good coffee. What do you think if next week we meet up in the afternoon to go downtown, keep chatting and if we feel like going for a walk later? “
Or an alternative.
“Good Fabian! Hey, I forgot to tell you that my friend is organizing an event this weekend. It will be fun. And by the way, we talked for a while, you and I that I want to hear you tell those cool stories again ”.
While we speak and they respond to us, we can take advantage of it to continue knowing each other better, consolidate the bond and that the person agrees to stay with us.
But if this doesn’t work quite right, there are alternatives. For example, sending funny, witty messages. It is more about unmarking ourselves and continuing to leave our mark than about looking like we are crazy.
Although here I will confess that something absurd or surprising from time to time can come in handy, if it matches your way of being.
What do I do if the answer is yes?
If we already have a yes, then we have a path to continue advancing in our interaction. If we have a no … we like it less. But it is also a path. There you can decide to fight it more or not and continue to other places.
With your attitude, persistence and staying there you can change a no to a yes or a we’ll see. A maybe is half yes, do not forget, you will have to move on because things look good.
Sometimes time plays in our favor, it surprises us and we find ourselves receiving a message from a person from whom we no longer expected to receive news. This happens, especially if you have done well the previous points that we have been commenting on.
Here it is a good idea to have two ways or contact spaces. For example, phone with instant messaging and your contact in a social network.
Or any of these things and know a place where he usually goes every week, like a cafeteria, cultural association etc. You will increase the probabilities and the “hits” for him to notice you.
This point depends exclusively on you. Perhaps here you think “Even so … I’m afraid to propose and I back down.”
In the end, life is one of those who decide to go one step further. So between saying and not saying, proposing and not proposing … I think the option is clear ?
I’ll tell you one more thing:
Do you want to receive a no (which is at least temporary, as I was saying) or the possibility of receiving a yes?
And even more important,
Do you want to feel proud or proud of having tried?
I am sure it is! And there are sure to be people who will appreciate this.
Take that step and you’ll end up having more great adventures than you can imagine in the end.
And enjoy the benefits of already knowing what to say when you propose.