When Someone lies to You in a Relationship?
Table of Contents
Who has not ever lied? If it were a matter of raising your hand, as in elementary school and saying I, it is almost certain that none would save us. When it comes to marriage or dating, however, lies have no place, because it is one hundred percent trust and honesty and, of course, if there is love, lies should not exist, but sometimes reality is another.
Women and men alike expect a total and in every way a loving relationship ; If men do not express it in the same way that women are not due to the absence of pain when being deceived or realizing a lie. The best show of love a person can give is to be honest and loyal; that they are different in regard to the concept, but nobody would doubt that they are united in a kind of symbiosis, because the one cannot be without the other; While honesty speaks about the truth and being correct in our actions, loyalty uses the language of faithfulness.
It is unfortunate that many relationships today have forgotten these two important values, which make love grow every day. When any part of a couple lies and is surprised at their lack, the other party is hurt in their self-esteem and confidence in the other. Achieving recovery from pain takes time and needs patience, but, above all, a lot of self-confidence.
Despite this, recovering from the disappointment caused by a lie and disloyalty is not an impossible task, and requires both people to solve these disagreements. Some actions that the couple could carry out to recover the lost confidence because of the lie, are:
Do not live with resentment
It is the worst feeling and the one that most deteriorates a sentimental relationship, because what we do is focus on our pain and constantly remember the fault committed by our partner. Living also in a painful past is not healthy for anyone.
Don’t look for revenge
In general, some people, to “get rid of the spine” of pain and betrayal, resort to revenge. From my own experience I must say that it is not correct, nor does it belong to you; Yes, it is very likely that when you get revenge on a hoax or lie you experience a kind of revenge, but that feeling of victory does not last long, and it is likely that you will feel bad or want more later.
Do not judge from your position
Or put another way, do not pretend that the other person acts as you would. It is easy to hide in this and blame the other person for the problems; When a relationship goes wrong or usually both have contributed to things going that way.
Treat the other as you would like to be treated
It’s simple, don’t lie if you don’t want to be lied to; Although the rule does not always work both ways, you will have the satisfaction of having done the right thing.
Make forgiveness your best tool
Every day I hear people say that forgiving is difficult, that they are capable of forgiving but not forgetting; With the two observations I agree, however, I do not support them and here is the reason: forgiveness is difficult, but NOT impossible, and is not the same as forgetting. Forgetting EVERYTHING BAD requires an accident or serious illness so that we “erase” all memories (even good ones), and we are not machines for this process to arise spontaneously. What we CAN do is remember without pain. This process of learning to forgive is relative for each human being; It requires patience, acceptance of facts and time.
Trust again and win the lost trust
Like everything in life, the best is achieved step by step. Just as we cannot pretend that love reappears instantaneously, neither can we try to trust or gain the trust of someone just by wanting. To regain the trust of our partner, we must be open and receptive to the loyalty and honesty of the other person. If you want to regain the trust of a disappointed person, you must be shown with facts that one is worthy of this trust through acts, true details of love, diligence and patience.
Talk about your inconveniences and differences
Sincere communication is perhaps the only weapon that will help them understand the other person, will allow them to put themselves in the place of the other and will give them the guidelines to grow as a couple and individually and not to make the same mistakes of the past.
I could explain that it is difficult to recover the lost confidence in the loved one, I could even tell them not to even try and break the relationship or divorce. What I am called to do, however, is to tell them to fight and persevere, and to CHANGE FROM INSIDE. If at any time you are tempted to lie to your partner, stop along the way and think twice about what you are going to do, the consequences of that act and everything that brings dishonesty or disloyalty. Never forget that we own our actions, we can do what we want but never choose the consequences of such decisions. Finally, do not forget that sooner or later (by the law of life or by divine intervention) lies always come to light.