A wedding anniversary of 20 years is a great occasion for a married couple to indulge in pleasant memories. How to celebrate it, what kind of wedding is it, what to give to a husband, wife, what lessons could spouses learn during their life together? These are just some of the questions that will be discussed in this article.
In September, our marriage will celebrate its 20th anniversary. For us, this is the time to take stock, set new goals to continue working on the quality of our relations. We are not adherents of traditions, especially numerology, but 20 years is a long way, we also gained experience, littered with mistakes and successes. Therefore, it is not gifts that matter to us, but relationships, our friends, and the lessons learned from the first twenty years of marriage.
Every anniversary is an opportunity for a married couple to get out of the monotony of the daily routine and plunge into the festive mood. For many, the 20th anniversary is a special, exciting day, a truly major anniversary. Some decide to celebrate quietly, at home, for example, having a picnic with friends in nature. Others are on a grand scale: many guests, the repetition of marriage vows, traditional gifts, congratulations, a special celebration scenario, and an obligatory cake. In any case, this is an unforgettable date for any married couple.
20 years of marriage, what a wedding
The traditional symbol of the 20th anniversary is delicate, mysterious Chinese porcelain, symbolizing the beautiful, elegant and at the same time delicate, fragile nature of love. It reminds spouses not to take marriage for granted, but to nurture and care for it every day.
The name porcelain wedding comes from the characteristics of the porcelain itself. It is a more valuable material than glass, but no less fragile. So family relationships can still be called quite fragile even after 20 years of marriage. This means that these relationships need to be protected, cherished, and cherished, like expensive porcelain.
Spouses should not forget, especially in moments of various difficulties in life, that happiness is a fragile thing. It is in their hands, and only they determine whether their union is truly happy. Given this, some spouses decide to give each other repeated solemn vows of fidelity and love.
Also, a modern symbol of the 20th anniversary is platinum, as it is resistant to corrosion and worn under normal atmospheric conditions. This symbolizes endurance, strength, and the ability to overcome obstacles that the spouses have acquired over 20 years. Together, porcelain and platinum create a symbolic picture of a 20-year perfect marriage.
Your marriage has stood the test of time, but its strength must continually care for every day.
Of the precious stones, the emerald is the symbol, and the lily is the flower. If you plan to celebrate this round date in the traditional Chinese style, then you need to make sure that these symbols are also present at the celebration.
What to give for a porcelain wedding
- Those who wish to somehow emphasize this date can, for example, make an interesting film about the heroes of the occasion from home family photos and video filming. (Our friends with their daughter on one of the last anniversaries gave my wife and I such a gift, which we are still reviewing). This gift, which brings together all the most interesting moments of a couple’s life, has a lot of meaning.
- You can organize a couple’s vacation for two. Over the past 20 years, spouses have been thinking more about children, work, but rarely about leisure. It doesn’t have to be a cruise, an overseas vacation. It is enough to organize a romantic dinner for them by renting a hotel room in a neighboring city and ordering dinner at a restaurant with some inexpensive surprises.
- Porcelain dolls of the bride and groom are the traditional themes of what they give for 20 years of marriage. They symbolize the fragility of love and trust in marital relationships, as well as the strength and deep bond of friendship that is possible only in lifelong vows.
- A bouquet of white lilies is a symbolic gift. It symbolizes the purity and majesty of marriage, which the spouses were able to maintain for 20 years. Giving such a bouquet emphasizes the sign of his gratitude, love for the couple, who could, through all the vicissitudes of life, maintain the nobility of marriage.
- Various porcelain dishes.
wedding anniversary gift for husband
- Your husband will appreciate everything that you give him from your heart. If you are fans of tradition, then consider a gift with a traditional Chinese theme. For example, give a china mug that says “strong, beautiful and courageous” in Chinese characters. (How it is written in Chinese can be found through Google translator). Then, with a special marker for ceramics, apply these hieroglyphs to the mug. It’s easy to learn, you just need to google the Internet a little.
- A modern symbolic gift for a husband on the 20th anniversary of marriage is platinum products (for those who are financially able). Usually these are rings, brooches, a tie clip or collectible coins. You can give a platinum ring or engagement ring engraved with your wedding date as a symbol of a strong and enduring person, just like your marriage.
- If you are not adherents of various traditions, then give something that your spouse has long dreamed of or needs. For example, good paid fishing, a gift certificate, something from his hobbies, hobbies, or a watch. (We recommend reading how to choose a watch for men, and what features you should pay attention to when choosing).
What to give your wife for her wedding anniversary
- If your wife is a traditional woman, give her a fine white porcelain tea/coffee set. She will proudly drink these drinks from him with her friends.
- Surprise your spouse with a bouquet of different lilies in every room. Arrange bouquets and postcards in them, where write beautiful, timed to this date wishes, compliments to your beloved . So that, entering any room, they immediately caught the wife’s eyes.
- Since emerald is the symbol of the twentieth anniversary of marriage, give your wife classic emerald earrings or a necklace. Update her outdated gold engagement ring with a platinum engagement ring set with a small emerald stone.
- Write a poem with 20 reasons why you love her. The song itself will also work.
- Send your wife on a treasure hunt with 20 different clues that will lead her to an anniversary dinner at a restaurant with you and 20 of her immediate family and friends.
- Take your wife to the best Chinese restaurant in your city, or in a pinch, order yourself some Chinese food.
- Surprise your significant other on your 20th wedding anniversary with an emerald green themed party. Enlist the help of her friends who will help you buy the right size green dress in which your spouse will shine at the party. All tablecloths, decor tables and other decorations, at least some of them, should be emerald green. Hang Chinese paper lanterns above the table. Use wooden chopsticks and serve cocktails with small decorative umbrellas. On tables, use white lily vases as a finishing touch.
- Surprise your wife with a set of 20 small items. For each year, one item that characterizes the peculiarity of a particular year. For example, motherhood, work, qualities (after all, every year some significant or memorable event took place in the life of the family). These can be small figurines, crafts that can be found at a flea market or in stores. Post them all over the house with date signs so your wife can find them. Ask her, having found an object, to remember what kind of event from a joint life it represents.
- Arrange a trip (if funds permit) to a country she has always dreamed of visiting or China.
We are not adherents of traditions in the family, therefore we do not observe them, since for us it is not the date itself that is more important, but what we have achieved during this period.
Wedding Anniversary: Lessons Learned in 20 Years
Trials either strengthen or undermine a marriage
Marriage is like a bridge: it must be constantly strong to support the weight that puts pressure on its foundation. If cracks are not repaired or repaired in time, they will collapse under the pressure of a large weight that will be on them.
We went through a lot of hardships, especially in the last year and there were no doubt some cracks in our marriage, but we persevered. These difficulties only hardened our marriage, making it stronger, and this is more valuable than any gifts and dates.
It is important to complement each other
From the first days of living together, one should not compete with each other, but strive to be a compliment. This is a valuable lesson we have learned. In areas where the husband is weak, the wife is strong, and vice versa. Together, we are one team! Therefore, if one of us does not have time for something, and the other does it in strength, he takes it and does it, without separating duties.
People often marry with unrealistic expectations.
I was expecting a princess, and the wife of a prince, and together we imagined our life fabulous and cloudless. These expectations were enough exactly until the first working days after the wedding. Then I had to take off my rose-colored glasses, roll up my sleeves, and both “plow” to save the marriage.
Now we are teaching our daughter to look at marriage and be focused on hard moral and emotional work to preserve it. To marry sighted, and not following rainbow illusions.
We realized what love means to us in 20 years of marriage
Early on, love was everywhere. These are public displays of affection and big toothy smiles. These are dreams, trips to the cinema trips on vacation – everything was interesting. But, it lasts for a short period.
Over the past 20 years, we have learned that marriage is about honing deep and lasting love through huge mistakes, hurtful arguments, angry comments to each other, unwillingness to forgive, and indifference to the feelings of a partner. And all this between short real displays of love and kisses.
Here’s what 20 years of marriage means to us:
- Love has lost its youthful fervor, but has grown into a mature feeling. When you hear the unspoken, you guess what you want and without the second half you feel lonely.
- She began to see gifts, in the form of the smallest details, made for you by a marriage partner and eluding prying eyes.
- Love began to understand that neither the aging face or body of a life partner, nor economic difficulties prevent you from expressing feelings.
- She began to notice the smallest details of mutual devotion and readiness to defend a partner in front of other people.
- Love taught me to think more about my marriage partner and only then about myself during difficulties.
- She came to the conclusion that even after the child leaves the parental nest, life will not end for you, but a new, exciting stage of life for two will begin.
It is important to live your family history, not someone else’s.
Married couples tend to compare themselves with other couples they admire their life, maybe the exercise of the headship of the husband or the care of the wife, children, standard of living, material security. This can be beneficial to some extent, but it can also be terrible for your marriage.
Since you can begin to idealize others, repelling the desire to work for your marriage. The comparison should give an incentive and a desire to improve their relationships, and not provoke them to give up.
It is also important to properly build your relationship with a marriage partner and think less about what other people will say or think if this does not violate God’s and secular law. Because there are always lovers to say to a married couple “you must, you must”, trying to squeeze them into the templates of their representation of marital relations. Therefore, it is worth writing and living your family history, starting your traditions.
Conclusion in figures and facts
20 years from your wedding is 7300 days or 175,200 hours or 10,512,000 minutes, which is over 630 million seconds – the time you were married.
During this time, the couple, on average, spent more than 54,700 hours under the same blanket (sleep). It’s about 6 years and 3 months. If the spouses do not work together, then they were away from each other for about 42288 hours, which is 4 years and 10 months. They had approximately 15,900 common meals, which is approximately 1 year, 1 month of continuous eating.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.