All couples can run on a bumpy road sometimes. And it’s totally normal to have arguments in your relationship and disagree about certain things. However, in some cases, these arguments can turn into a bigger fight and can rock your relationship. If you recognize such issues ahead of time, you have better chances of overcoming them.
Even though a relationship can have bumps, couples who’ve learned how to solve their problems and keep the love life going, are successful in the long run. To stay successful and healthy in their relationship, many couples read articles, and books, attend seminars or go to couples therapy.
Read as we go deeper into the signs of a serious issue in your relationship and how you can approach them to restore healthy communication. Let’s start!
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All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to the author of Blending Families, Elaine Fantle Shimberg. She says that couples can’t communicate while they check the latest show on TV or flipping through the sports channels. Many couples struggle in expressing their feelings accordingly which may result in misunderstandings and fights in the long run.
How to Solve It?
There are certain problem-solving strategies when the issue in your relationship is poor communication. First of all, you can visit a couples counselor and attend a few coaching sessions. Online therapy in San Francisco offers a wide range of services for married couples, and couples that live together, no matter where in the globe you are based. Feel free to check them out!
You can make a get-together event where you’ll have time just for the both of you. Put the phones on mute, the kids to bed, and have an intimate date in your own home where you can communicate the things with your partner that bother you.
If you know you can’t communicate without starting a fight or raising your voice (even if you are in a public place like a park or a library!) it’s a sign you need to stay at home and solve your issues instead of causing a public conflict.
Set up some rules to communicate in an open and safe environment, for example, to not interrupt your partner while they are speaking or use body language signs to show you are listening to them. Do not pick your nails or look at your phone or watch while your partner is trying to communicate and share things with you.
Money issues are a deal-breaker for many couples. Even before the wedding vows, couples often disagree on living costs, spending patterns, and dealing with cash. Partners need to discuss finances so they can find a common ground for managing money.
How to Solve It?
You can solve the money issue by discussing your finances and current financial situation with your partner. You won’t achieve anything if you keep an unrealistic lifestyle and deceive your partner about your finances. You need to acknowledge which of the partners is a spender and which one is a saver.
Do not hide debt or income from your partner, bring all of the finance documents to the table. And most importantly, do not blame each other. Construct a budget and decide who will be responsible for paying the bills and who is responsible for other expenses.
Issues With Your Sex Life
A healthy sex life helps couples keep the chemistry, brings them closer together, and they become more self-aware. According to the author of “Please Dear, Not Tonight”, Mary Jo Fay, a lack of sexual education and sexual self-awareness will worsen sex life. Having sex releases the dopamine and serotonin hormones that help us feel better mentally and physically.
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How to Solve It?
Problem-solving strategies when it comes to sex life include foreplay, frequent intimate dates, taking care of yourselves, improving your physical health, and keeping in shape. Additionally, you can spice things up with a pair of lingerie, use toys in your foreplay, or try out a different and fun sex position.
Do not plan everything. Let things happen casually, so instead of marking Friday as the day when you’ll have sex, try surprising your partner with a “quickie”. While anticipation will make both of you excited about the night ahead of you, a small surprise won’t hurt anybody. This will show your partner that you can be creative and bring diversity to your relationship.
You need to learn what turns on your partner so you can use that to create more appealing scenarios for both of you. If the sexual relationship issues can’t be solved on their own, we’d recommend checking with a therapist.
Visit a Couples Counselor!
If your current relationship situation is slipping out of your hands or it seems too overwhelming, it’s time you visit a licensed couples counselor and talk about your issues.
80% of the issues can be solved in time if you choose the right provider, so make sure you are on the right track.