The relationship you have with your partner is extremely important in the life of every person who has one, since with your partner you normally live with most of the time, especially if you live with her and the relationship does not. It is only a couple but also has a friend (a), confidant and lover. So if right now you are doubting if your relationship works well or not , surely you have been feeling uncomfortable in it and you are not having a good time.
But really, how can you know if your relationship is working? In this Bigmatrimonial article, we are going to give you some advice if the following question is in your head: “My relationship doesn’t work anymore, what do I do?”
Why my relationship is worn out
Before moving on to let you know some indicators that can help you know if your relationship is really working or not, it is necessary to take into account a series of questions that you may be probably overlooking. Next, we give you the main explanations to know when a relationship does not work.
Problems and disagreements are part of the relationship
In a couple relationship it may be that especially at the beginning everything is “rosy”, the two get along very well and there is no problem or misunderstanding between them. However, as time goes by, the person becomes more known in its entirety and the relationship begins to grow deeper, it is perfectly normal for some conflicts to arise.
The strange thing would be that they never had disagreements or some kind of problem since they cannot think exactly the same as the other person. The important thing is not to avoid the problems but to learn together to solve them in order to do it better and better. If you argue a lot with your partner about nonsense , it is important that you try to talk and solve the conflict.
The level of infatuation has decreased
After having overcome the stage of falling in love in a relationship where the famous butterflies appear in the stomach, the other person is perceived as having the coolest in the world, the sexual desire experienced by the other is rampant, among other symptoms of infatuation.
At the end of time, one passes to the stage of the purest and most sincere love . That is, now the person is perceived as he is with his defects and virtues, he feels calm and not so much excitement when seeing the person, sexual desire decreases so it is no longer exaggerated as before, etc. However, there is still a desire to be with that person since they are accepted as they are and love becomes something more conscious and not so emotional. So there is a possibility that right now you are going through this new stage and this will cause confusion.
It often happens that couples fall into a rather monotonous cycle and surprise and novelty in the relationship have ceased to exist. This does not always mean that the love has ended or that the relationship has stopped working, but that they simply need to undergo some routine changes that can turn the relationship around and thus leave the comfort zone.
signs of a relationship not working, relationship is no longer working?
Next, I will mention what are the main signals that you can take into account to really know if your relationship is working or not. Keep in mind that each situation is different and these indicators are only so that you can give yourself a better idea about it but they cannot determine with complete fidelity that your relationship is not really working.
- Lack of interest. You’ve been noticing for some time that your interest in your partner or your partner’s interest in you is less and less, to the point that right now you feel that you are or are totally or almost totally indifferent in every way. In other words, for example, you may not care if your partner feels good or bad, you do not want to spend time with her or her with you and instead you avoid or avoid you, it has become the last on your list of priorities or you hers etc. that is, you feel that one or both do not care if they continue the relationship or not.
- Problems and differences without solution. When you notice that right now you have reached the point that you really do not care or your partner does not care as before trying to solve their problems. You feel that the differences between you have overwhelmed you and you are not interested in pursuing the welfare of the other person.
- Toxicity. When in the couple there is a high level of toxicity for quite some time that it has not been possible to solve. By toxicity I mean that for example one or both of them is all the time trying to exercise control over the other, that there has never been trust in the partner, continually experiencing a lack of personal freedom and being increasingly emotionally drained in the company of the other person.
- Feeling of being limited. Another important indicator to know if your relationship is not working is that you feel limited, either because your partner is preventing you or trying to prevent you from doing the things you really want all the time (or contrary to what you do). to her), that you have the feeling that you cannot make your own decisions because your partner always interferes with them or vice versa and in short, that one or both of you is experiencing the constant feeling of overwhelm and lack of understanding on the part of the other.
- Avoid his company. You, your partner or both may constantly avoid their company and prefer to share their time with other people. They even have the feeling that they always need a third party so that they can have a good time together so they don’t get bored.
- Totally different ideas and expectations. The fact of having plans and vital objectives in common with the couple is a fundamental pillar that must exist in any good relationship since it is an indicator that both are heading towards the same path and feel comfortable with it. However, when this does not happen, there is a significant imbalance in the couple. An example of this could be that your partner wants to have children and you don’t or vice versa.
My relationship does not work, what do I do?
When a couple relationship is not going well, it is normal for us to feel worried and strive to make it as satisfying as possible.
If you still have doubts about how to deal with this situation, it is recommended that you go to a couple therapist so that they can recommend exercises and couple therapy techniques appropriate to your personal case.
This article is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.