Sapiosexuality . For sapiosexuales, few things are more seductive than an interesting, intimate and enriching conversation. For this part of the population, sexual desire goes beyond the skin and the mere physical aspect, arises from intelligence.
Sapiosexuality is here to stay. Many agencies and online dating pages already include this term as one more sexual identity. The New York Times also revealed to us in 2014 that a good part of our population is more excited by an interesting conversation than by a sculptural body. Is it perhaps changing something in the language of our attraction?
Absolutely. Sapiosexuality is defined as that fascination for the intelligence of others, where an interesting dialogue constitutes a sexual game between two minds , and where the word, a powerful weapon of seduction is raised . In reality, intellectuality as a form of eroticism is not a new phenomenon; It has always existed and it was Plato himself who told us about it in 380 BC. C.
Now, we are currently witnessing not only its popularity, but several attempts to give scientific recognition to this term that seems to define a good number of people. Knowing someone skilled in the most varied knowledge, able to ignite our mind and to awaken that mixture between curiosity, mystery and admiration erects a game that goes beyond the skin.
“Brains, like hearts, go where they are appreciated.”
Sapiosexuality: when the brain is the sexiest attribute of the person
There is a type of criticism that appears more frequently around the term ‘sapiosexuality’. There are many who see in this concept a form of discrimination and proud elitism . Thus, the attraction that is created among people of high intelligence leaves out, supposedly, those with a medium or low IQ and, of course, people with deficiencies.
Now, the sapiosexuales indicate that in this form of attraction there is no arrogance. Moreover, that type of sexuality does not wake up just being with someone very intelligent. In reality, sapiosexuality does not go from ‘smarties’, but from finding someone with whom dialogue becomes a form of intimacy , of reflection, where to connect emotionally through word, knowledge and emotion.
Intelligence and mind as an interpersonal attraction factor, how true?
The New York Times published in 2017 an interesting article that gathered the testimony of several sapiosexuales . Thus, in this era where many relationships have their beginnings through online networks and contacts, there is no lack of those who feel frustrated and upset at the type of interaction that occurs in these virtual scenarios.
The exchange of photos and banal conversations where extolling the value of physical appearance is in many cases a disappointment . Now, when they manage to find someone capable of maintaining a brilliant conversation, which deepens aspects in a skillful, empathic and interesting way at the same time, the attraction and excitement are turned on.
So, can a person really feel sexually attracted to someone only through conversation? In a study conducted at the Western University of Crawley, Australia , they concluded that about 8% of young people between 18 and 35 are sapiosexuals . On the other hand, in dating pages like OkCupid they point out that it is increasingly common in people between 30 and 45 years old.
Also, Gilles Gignac, author of this work, concluded with the fact that, indeed, intelligence is for some people a factor of sexual attraction . The intelligent man or woman generates sexual arousal because in a way it separates us from the conventions and everyday superficiality , and we also attribute qualities such as respect, good decision-making, understanding and sense of protection towards the other.
Cherish my brain: intelligence is the beauty that goes beyond the skin
There are many who see the subject of sapiosexuality with some skepticism. Somehow, these new lexical paradigms do not stop appearing more and more frequently. Thus, terms, such as pluviophiles (hobby or love for rain) or bibliophiles (love for books), are recent labels that give name to realities that have always existed.
Now, when we talk about sapiosexuality we are not referring to a hobby or a type of sexual orientation. Specialists in the field, such as Dr. Debby Herbenick , a sexual health educator and professor of public health at the University of Indiana, points out that we are really facing a type of identity .
There are many heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals who identify and define themselves as sapiosexuales . Intelligence seduces them, conquers them and does not consider physical appearance as a relevant factor when it comes to being sexually attracted to someone. It is true that more than one may find it misleading that there are people whose eyes do not go away when they see an attractive woman or man.
Sapiosexuales are not blind to beauty or deny it, at all. The only particularity is that it does not arouse high desire or particular fascination. It is the conversation, it is the dialogue and that word that flows and dazzles, that catches and deepens in the most diverse matters with success and elegance, which really seduces and falls in love. Stroking the brain instead of the skin is for many the most interesting form of sexuality.
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Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.