We’ve all heard of a nail pulling out another nail, but is that true? Does another person really heal the pain that the ex-partner has left us? The following article in Bigmatrimonial aims to talk about the myth that in a very short time another person can remove the emptiness that this ex-partner has left us. We will discuss the characteristics and duration of bounce relationships and discuss their chances of success. Do you want to know if rebound relationship work? Keep reading.
What is a rebound relationship?
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For most people, breaking up with someone is a painful process. Having ended with the couple can leave us with a feeling of intense emptiness and, therefore, some people quickly seek to replace that person’s love with another romantic relationship. It is then when we are faced with the so-called rebound or liana relationship.
Characteristics of rebound relationships
How do I know if I am in a rebound relationship? The main feature of the rebound relationship is the short period of time between the breakup and the start of the new relationship. On the other hand, we can also find other characteristics that can indicate that we are in a rebound relationship such as:
When you are with the new partner, the mind evades the pain felt by the breakup. But, when it disappears, the pain and the feeling of emptiness reappear. This can indicate that we are not really in love with the other person but that we still have open wounds from the previous relationship.
The need for this new person to feel good. As the other person brings us comfort , since when we are with him or her the pain is less, relationships can develop with a very superficial intensity: sex is intense, the words are very loving, but you really do not see yourself prepared for talk about deep feelings.
In turn, that intensity can lead to precipitating acts such as: meeting family and friends in a very short time and even going to live together.
Another characteristic that we can also see in rebound relationships is: the constant comparison of the “new love” with your ex-partner. This fact may mean that you are trying to find the previous partner in someone else. The new person is not valued for what he really is , such as his characteristics and attributes, but rather tries to find the qualities of the former partner and that the person acts as a replacement.
Also, in bouncing relationships, sexual attraction is often the main driver of the relationship. Although enjoying sexuality is a natural and healthy thing in a couple relationship, a possible sign of a rebound relationship is using sex to avoid the feelings and emotions that can arise due to discomfort from the previous breakup and emotional dissatisfaction with the new partner.
Finally, due to the emotional instability that a breakup entails, the new relationship will also be affected by these mood swings, which can lead to an unstable relationship and frequent mood swings.
How long does a bounce relationship last
Due to the lack of stable affective bonds and the difficulty of forming them due to the characteristics that sustain the rebound relationships, these are not usually very long-lasting. Despite the short duration, many do not reach one year . They are usually intense and hasty and decisions are made such as starting a life together very quickly, buying a pet together, going to a foreign country for a season, etc.
Why don’t bounce relationships work?
A breakup is a loss, so it inevitably requires a period of mourning. It will take time for the person to assume that they have broken up with their ex-partner, to reorganize their life and thoughts., clarify the emotions you feel and allow yourself to feel the pain of the loss in order to overcome it. Sometimes people are afraid of having to face everything that loss entails and they can skip the grief by quickly getting involved in a new relationship. In this way, the pain is masked by the new love. However, even if we want to deceive ourselves, the pain is still there and that will harm us when establishing new bonds with another person. That is why many of the rebound relationships do not work because, despite wanting to be excited by another person and turn the page, the pain is still very present and does not allow progress.
For this, it is important to keep in mind the stages of grief and what each one entails:
- Normally, when a person suffers a emotional breakdown, a feeling of denial appears and disbelief appears: “It can’t be over, if we were well… it is true that sometimes we did not agree on things, but it was not as relevant as to end the relationship.”
- This disbelief often gives way to anger, rage, and anger ; It is not understood why the relationship has ended and the person ends up getting angry first with the partner (it is not necessary to communicate this to the couple but it can be a thought) and then also with himself for not having been able to do
- After anger usually comes sadness . Realizing that this person is no longer by your side. It is important that when we feel sadness, we let it come out: cry, express it to your friends, do a ritual that allows you to get rid of this sadness (there are those who do well to watch a movie with which they know they always cry). On many occasions, at this point people find it difficult to express that they are sad and try to pretend that nothing happens. To overcome a grief it is important to allow yourself to feel the sadness that the loss has brought with it.
- Taking the penalties out can help us move to the next step: accepting the loss . Understanding that your ex-partner is no longer part of your life, but that your life continues and you can be happy without that person, allows us to establish new goals and objectives in our life, assuming that we have suffered a loss.
In rebound relationships, on many occasions, this process has not been fully carried out. We may have stayed in denial, rage and anger or sadness, since they are processes that can sometimes be unpleasant, and we decided not to face them and replace the ex-partner with a new love.