Psychology: What Science Prove About Distance Love
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We will tell you about psychological effects of long distance relationships. Love at a distance intrigues society. Is it really possible or does it break the couple?
This one does not have a priori anything “normal”.
Being able to be in a romantic relationship with someone who is located several tens, hundreds or even thousands of kilometers away does not appear to be obvious today.
However, the reality is quite different. No matter what one says, long distance relationships are possible and there are many testimonies going more and more in this direction.
But how is this possible?
This is the question to which several scientific studies on this subject wish to answer, in order to establish how its relations differ from so-called “classic” relations.
Here is therefore for you a summary of scientific findings on the subject of the distance relationship and its psychology!
1. Long distance relationships are better than traditional relationships
First of all, it would seem that distancing relationships are as much, if not more satisfying and healthy than short-distance relationships .
According to Emma Dargie, a doctoral student in psychology at Queen’s University, there would be no significant difference in the quality of the couple depending on the distance.
Truth be told, she and her team have found that the greater the distance between the two partners, the higher the levels of satisfaction, intimacy and communication.
According to Karen Blair, psychologist and assistant author on this project, distance changes the way we interact and forces the couple to work on aspects that classic relationships too often take for granted, by encouraging sharing.
2. Long distance relationships are healthier
According to a Northwestern University study of 150 married couples, it even appears that long-distance partners have much better overall health than those who see each other every day : less fatigue, anxiety and depression as well as better diet and more sport.
This is explained by the fact that the distance allows more independence in everyday life and therefore allows you to organize these sports activities, socialize or sleep at your own discretion.
3. Distance is not the hardest obstacle
According to Emma Dargie, the real obstacle in this type of relationship is not the distance itself.
Enemy number one lies in the gap between the expectations and the reality of the partners . In other words, idealization is the source of the majority of evils.
This tendency to perceive things and one’s partner too positively is much more marked in distance relationships than in geographically close couples.
As a result, long-distance couples are happier, but this is not without risk for the future .
4. Long distance relationships are deeper and more intimate
Another study conducted in 2013 by Crystal Jiang (University of Hong Kong) and Jeffrey Hancock (Cornell University) and conducted among 63 couples (half of them in a long-distance relationship) points to interesting facts.
Although long-distance relationships do not interact as frequently as a traditional relationship during the day, the interactions are that much longer and more intimate .
To calculate this, the researchers asked the couples to measure their daily interactions, the means used (telephone, video chat, etc.) as well as to note the degree of sharing and intimacy felt.
According to Crystal Jiang, long-distance couples would try harder than others to communicate their affection and intimacy in order to compensate for frustration and feelings of insecurity .
Thus, we avoid sensitive subjects, we share our feelings more and we focus on common goals.
5. Couples are happier when they know the distance is temporary
According to Karen Blair, a key factor in the success of a long-distance relationship and the certainty that the two partners will end well together.
She explains that if we are absolutely sure that we will move in together then this trust can make the distance last for several years .
Moreover, a complementary study released in 2007 by Katheryn Maguire, reveals that couples certain to reunite are more satisfied and less stressed than others.
6. Dating is a priority to make your long-distance relationship successful
In 2002, a study by Aylor and Dainton broaches the subject of the communication of distance relationships. She finds that long- distance couples who haven’t met in real life have much more problems with jealousy .
The study also proves that reunion is crucial when it comes to satisfaction, mutual commitment and partner trust.
Regarding a study prior to the arrival of Skype in 2003, we can go further and assume that video chat software is essential to reduce jealousy and lack of confidence in the couple .
7. Ending the distance can prove fatal
In 2006, research from Ohio University found that a third of long-distance relationships that meet in the same city break up within three months .
Based on participants’ responses, the researchers found that partners were much happier spending time together and being able to get together anytime.
However, many individuals have expressed their dissatisfaction with their new lack of autonomy, freedom and privacy .
Many also note the increase in arguments after the meeting and greater difficulty in resolving them.
In other words, the reunion of the couple allows a sudden discovery both positive and negative of the other, necessarily marking the comparison with the story from a distance.
We will mainly remember from all this that a long-distance relationship is not psychologically as hard to live with as one might think .
However, it is essential to resolve a possible phenomenon of idealization as soon as possible.