Have you been on several dates and wonder if you should start a formal relationship or just not ready for a relationship and stay focused on your career and your goals?
Sometimes you feel pressured by society to be single, but entering a new relationship is a great commitment, don't you feel safe trying and you don't know why?
So pay attention to these 12 signs that will indicate that you are not ready for a relationship. You will surely feel identified with more than one.
1: You Are Putting All Your Energy To Personal Priorities And Goals
Love relationships are not just about spending incredible moments with another person when you have plenty of time, or you start to miss them. There must be a mutual commitment and that implies that both parties invest time and emotional resources in the other.
A relationship in which you only give what little you have left after you put almost all your energy into pursuing your personal goals, is really not fair to the other person, and may eventually bring you more problems and dislikes than benefits.
There is absolutely nothing wrong that you focus 100% on yourself and achieve what you have pursued, say a career, a gold medal, a graduate or the job of your dreams, but these life choices characteristic of people Successful and high performance usually force them to set aside, at least temporarily, the theme of romance.
If, for example, your life plan includes traveling the world for the next three years, it is likely that right now is not the best idea to start a new relationship.
2: You Haven't Surpassed Your Ex Yet
This is one of the most obvious signs that you are not ready to start a new relationship. Do you think that having your mind and heart in another person, there may be space to include in your life someone new that makes you feel love again? I do not think so!
So if you still think about your ex and the reality is that you would return with him if the opportunity arose, if you still have intense feelings, and if when you go out with someone you cannot avoid comparing them and feeling guilty because you try to find in this new boy part of What was your old partner, better think about it and give yourself some time to be alone and reflect. Once you feel that your ex is just a beautiful memory and that's it, then you'll be ready for a new relationship.
Do not forget: one thing is to remember your ex eventually for any circumstance and another very different is to dominate your mind ... and heart. Do not get confused!
Remember: give time to time. This heals EVERYTHING! Do not despair! Because when you really cut your heart that connection that binds you to your ex, the perfect person for you will appear.
Read more: Fall In Love
3: You Try To Become The “Savior” Of The Other
Many women follow the typical pattern of interacting with problematic boys or difficult lives, just because deep down they feel it is their responsibility or mission in life to "save them."
If you activate the “save the other and change it” mode, so that it fits fully with your ideal partner, the most obvious of the consequences is that that person will always do something to disappoint you every day and that will undoubtedly fill you with frustrations .
Being the "savior" of the other is not good for him, much less for you, because you wear out emotionally putting all your energy on someone who simply will not change if he does not want to. So when you meet someone, you must accept it and, if you can't, just go through it no matter how much you like it.
Remember: to love is to accept, as long as what we accept from the other does not hurt us. If you can't deal with this, you're not ready for a new relationship.
4: Do You Think That Just Being In A Relationship Will You Feel Full And Happy
Many girls (and boys too) think that their life would be really perfect and full of happiness if they had a partner. What a wrong idea! Ironically, thinking like this is a sign that we are not ready to have a partner because we really do not know how to be comfortable with ourselves.
The essence of being in a healthy relationship is precisely that you have to be happy with us first and then project that happiness and attract people who are in the same harmony and vibration as us.
If we don't feel good about who we are and do, do you think a third person can fill those internal gaps that we don't find apparent explanation?
Keep this golden rule in mind: no one will love you or give you the happiness you crave, if before you don't love yourself with your whole being and feel full of yourself!
5: Emotionally You Are Very Closed
To be in a relationship, it is essential that we learn to be 100% communicative. In fact, that is one of the most important keys to love success. But if you are one of the girls who find it difficult to express their feelings (both positive and negative), logically this will bring discomfort in any relationship you have, because people can hardly guess what is happening to you to help you.
So if you are one of those who feel that you do not need to connect emotionally with others, that you prefer to silence what bothers you or bothers you ... you will not be able to open up to the other to accommodate your life. Then, you have to work on your insecurities and fears to show others without suspicion.
It's not easy to open up to others and show yourself vulnerable, but it's a good exercise if you start with your family or friends. Only then can you connect emotionally with that guy you like so much.
6: Do You Think That Being In A Relationship Your Problems Will Be Solved
At this point, now it is you who takes the position of being "saved"; and you are looking for a "savior". You should know that the extremes are not good and this is one of the worst, because it can lead you to a truly toxic relationship.
If you think your perfect partner is the one that will rescue you from problems and miraculously it will make sense of your life, you are wrong! Rather you can get a toxic person to take advantage of your vulnerability and codependence. Worse, you can run into someone with the same insecurities as you and really be a stormy relationship that will only bring more sadness and frustrations to your life.
So the best advice is that you don't give your potential partner the responsibility of making your life better, but instead focus on feeling full and happy. Of course, there will be times when you need help, but for that there will also be your family and friends.
Read more: Short Love Quotes To Fall In Love
7: You See The Relationship As A Distraction
This is one of the most dangerous signs, because you simply take lightly to start a relationship just by looking for an alternative method to get away from your problems or concerns.
That is to say, that for you, a couple is not someone that is chosen because they enjoy their company, because there are life projects together, because they are compatible, because they love each other. Do not! You just want to have a partner to distract you from those things (problems or situations) that are causing you worries.
If that is your vision to be in a couple, we advise you two things: the first, that you think about it before starting a relationship just for distracting yourself; Remember that here you also have to invest time, energy and emotions (whether you like it or not). In addition, this will not be productive for your emotional maturity in the long run, but it can bring you trouble getting a person that is really worthwhile (already when you decide to have a partner out of conviction and not distraction).
The second piece of advice is that, if you are also determined to have a distraction relationship, speak clearly with the other person, be honest and tell him that you are not looking for a formal or serious relationship. This way you will avoid many problems.
8: You Don't Have Time Therefore Not Ready For A Relationship
If you are a woman with a very absorbent job or are still studying and that consumes you most of the time; or if you study and work at the same time ... then, let me tell you that your time is sufficiently committed to have the real disposition to be with someone.
And if apart from work or study, you are a person who dedicates part of your day to taking care of your body by going to the gym, attending some kind of yoga or something like that, you better not even think about it!
Having a relationship demands time to share with that person, not only at home or at times, but also to build a life as a couple in which both of you are really aware that - regardless of your daily routines - there must be times to fully enjoy your company.
9: You Need To Pretend To Be Someone You Are Not
A serious mistake that many people make is to venture into a relationship and, to maintain it, behave in this or that way in order to please the couple. This is not healthy or satisfying!
Being in a relationship where you cannot be in all your splendor, with your virtues and defects, is not a relationship that brings satisfaction and fulfillment to your life, but rather suffering; because your behavior will always be conditioned to do what pleases the other, leaving aside what you like.
Who will love you will do it for who you are and not for what you appear to be. It's that simple! Do not get carried away by the pressure of third parties to be in a relationship and that leads you to pretend who you are not. Be yourself at all times.
10: You Have Not Evolved Based On Your Previous Relationships
When we mature psychologically and emotionally, we are able to evaluate how we have behaved in order to focus on our evolution as people, both as children, as friends, as parents (in some cases) and as a couple. This last point is very important to know if we are not ready for a relationship which is new!
So if you feel that - after having had several romantic relationships - everything on your part has been perfect, that the ruptures have been caused by the other, that in the failures you have had no responsibility, that you have always been an excellent partner ... then , you need to work more in a sincere introspection that leads you to see that you have failed (a lot or a little) and that there are things that you must change when facing a new relationship.
If something is fundamental in our experience as a couple, it is having the ability to evaluate the good and the bad of each one, but focusing more on our behavior and how certain personal behaviors must change in order to succeed and a healthy relationship.
11: You Don't Feel Good About Yourself
The problems of self-esteem and insecurities are the worst with which a person can fight. And, precisely, self-love is the key to connecting with an ideal partner. So, if you feel that something is wrong with you, this can be detrimental to any relationship, because unconsciously your frustrations reflect them in the other and that will inevitably bring problems.
People who are not happy with themselves do not accommodate the nuances in their life; that is, everything is white or black (gray does not exist); Everything is good or bad (there is no middle ground where you can get the best out of a negative situation and see it as a growth opportunity)
12: You Feel That Having A Relationship Is The Most Important
If you are one of those who think that being in a relationship is the most important thing and, once you enter one, the rest of the world disappears, let me tell you that it is an attitude that shows immaturity and, precisely, that you are not ready for a relationship.
When thinking that being in a couple is the most important thing, this forces you to act in order to maintain that over time, even if it implies that you sacrifice a lot to achieve it.
Among many other things, you dedicate all your time to him. It seems that nothing else exists. But ... where do you leave your individuality? Where are your personal aspirations and goals? Simply, your life seems to revolve around that person.
So where is your self-esteem, your values and your dreams? Limited by the misconception that you must be in a relationship because that is the most important thing? Nothing of that! May this phrase become a mantra in your life: the most important thing will always be that you love yourself before anyone else and that your happiness is never outside of you.
Always keep in mind that your ideals and convictions, but above all self-love, cannot be displaced by a couple. Before loving another, love yourself. Before sharing your days with another, make sure you have the quality time to offer. But above all things, never give in to a relationship just to please others.
These are just 12 signs that you are not ready for a relationship. Do not feel bad if you identify with some of them. Rather, it is an opportunity for you to self-analyze and work on everything you need to strengthen.