Is your husband a sissy who is still unable to make decisions without first consulting his mother? Does the mother-in-law still consider her child a child, so she tries to raise him? Then surely you will be interested to know what to do and how to live with a sissy?
How to try to re-educate him into an adult man? At the same time, trying not to spoil the relationship with either the mother-in-law or with her husband? We will also look at the signs of how to understand that you are dealing with a sissy?
No man admits that his marriage is falling apart because he is a sissy, just as his mother does not admit it. It is very difficult to correct such a situation, but it is possible. We will discuss what can be done to make a man out of such an individual.
Mommy’s boy: signs
Table of Contents
Let’s look at 9 signs that will help you recognize a sissy literally on the first date.
Talks a lot about mother
When communicating with a young man, you constantly hear “we, we, we”, and when you ask who he means, you get an explanation of what mother means. He says, “My mother and I did it or bought it, my mother always helps me, my mother will live next to us.”
Such words of a guy should be a signal for you to think and try to see if this is just respect for your mother or in front of you is a typical sissy.
Mom constantly calls her son, controlling him
The guy regularly calls his mother back, reporting on how the date went, what he did today, what did he do? This is also a sign of a sissy. It is also important to understand that no matter how a man responds positively or negatively to his mother if the mother prevails in the conversation and everything comes down to her, then you have a person who is specifically attached to the mother.
He was raised by a single mother or a late child
As a rule, such a specimen continues to live with her mother, even in her 30s, 40s, or 50s. At the same time, the mother’s son is allowed to marry when he is young. Although the mother agrees to this, gritting her heart, but only so that her child is not much different from other guys.
Often such marriages with mothers help break up safely, after which her “honey” returns under the “wing” of her mother. Where he lives with her until his old age.
Therefore, when you meet a man who divorced his wife 10 years ago and lives permanently with his mother, you should know that you have come across a classic example of a sissy. Communicating with his mother, you can notice how she speaks categorically about her ex-daughter-in-law, and the man agrees with her.
Allows the mother to interfere with the relationship with the girl
Mom constantly makes remarks to his chosen one, shows her displeasure with the way she behaves, or talks with her child. Thus, the girl, in addition to her future husband, will acquire another controller in the form of a mother-in-law.
He continues to live with his mother
Another distinguishing feature is that a man is a sissy – he still lives with his mother, (provided that the mother does not need his care). He explains this with his love and the fact that he owes a lot to her.
When conflicts go to the mother
Perhaps the guy or husband does not speak and makes little reference to his mother in conversations, but at the slightest quarrel or conflict, he immediately disappears. Instead of discussing the conflict situation with his soulmate, he goes home to his mother, with whom he certainly discussed the act of his girlfriend. And mom has already explained to him who is who.
Inability to make decisions on one’s own
Recognizing a sissy is pretty easy. For example, no matter what decision he would need to make or consult with someone, he will run to his mother. It is likely that his mother still cooks for him and cleans him.
Purchases of expensive or large items are also made with the mother, even if he pays for them himself. In addition, for any reason, no matter what happens and does not happen in his life until he calls and consults with his mother, he is unlikely to make a decision. Even if he values \u200b\u200bthe opinion of his girlfriend.
For him, his mother always comes first.
After meeting his mother, a sissy, without noticing it, will try to please his mother more than his girlfriend. For example, he will begin to ignore the girl’s requests in favor of his mother, even in simple things. Subsequently, this will happen in married life.
Seeks his mother’s approval in everything
Immediately after meeting a girl, a sissy will want to introduce her to his mother in just a few dates. Many girls mistakenly think that a young man is driven by serious intentions, for example, thoughts about starting a family. He just wants to know the opinion of his mother about his choice.
Therefore, seeing such a man in front of her, the lady should decide for herself – can she live with him, constantly enduring both the visible and invisible presence of her mother-in-law in married life? Will she be able to turn a sissy into a real man?
At the same time, it should be understood that the chances of a successful reincarnation are one in a thousand. Is she willing to take the risk and try? Whereas during the same time, without having a relationship with a sissy, she can meet a self-sufficient and independent man with whom she would build a harmonious relationship.
What to do if the husband is a sissy
Let’s look at 8 psychologists’ tips on how to behave to your wife in this case?
Do not try to make him dislike his mother
Remember, in the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law confrontation, the mother is in a better position. Because she will do everything in opposition to her daughter-in-law. For example, if a wife criticizes her husband, then his mother defends her child. The wife says he’s good for nothing, while the mother says she’s just impossible to please.
Therefore, it is better if in conflict situations a woman emphasizes that she respects her mother-in-law, but at the same time, she does not like the way her husband behaves in this situation. At the same time, she said that she would very much like her husband to listen to her words.
Don’t drink it
Don’t tell him the same thing over and over again. Here you need to act on the counterbalance. For example, if you criticize or show dissatisfaction with something, then at the same time you need to find something to hold and praise for, just like mom does. Avoid contrast – a kind mother and an evil wife.
Don’t blame your husband
Refrain from reproaching sissy for being slow, for doing everything so slowly, and often failing to finish what he started. Repeated three times, and that’s enough, after which a strange man comes and receives his money for the work done, which you asked him to.
Thus, you simply avoid wasting your nerves on it + do not make an enemy in the form of a nervous mother-in-law. In addition, most likely the husband will think about it, as he will be ashamed (it is worth recognizing that some men do not feel remorse about this).
Do not take over all household chores
This is a common mistake most women make. Because, wanting to surround a man with care, love, and warmth so that he does not run away, women encourage him to do nothing.
Learn to praise a man in front of other people
This is very important to them, as they love words of encouragement. It would seem such a simple thing, but it radically changes the quality of relationships. With such female cunning, you give a man the opportunity to understand that you cannot cope without him.
So that for him it does not sound like a reproach, they say, this is his duty, but it looks like a request for help that you need.
Make your mother-in-law not your rival, but your ally
Let her remain convinced that she continues to be the No. 1 woman in her boy’s life. Praise your mother-in-law for your son and believe me, all mothers are pleased when their daughters-in-law praise them for their sons.
Make a cake and go to your mother-in-law saying that you have a good husband, but you want to further support your husband’s self-confidence. At the same time, ask the mother-in-law to praise her son as much as possible for independently made decisions. If you want to take her as your ally, consult with her yourself.
Watch your mother-in-law, how she convinces her son to do something, for which she praises, how she talks to him, and do the same. Since the mother has long understood the secret in communicating with her son, you should adopt her model of behavior with him.
If a man is annoyed by some moments in the behavior of his mother, then they must be avoided. At the same time, remember that about a sissy, the principle of “knocking out a wedge with a wedge” does not work. By doing this, you can be happy even with such a spouse.
Try to tear your spouse away from the mother’s skirt
As an option, with the opportunity to move to another city or region. To make it difficult for mommy to constantly control her “honey”, and for him to regularly report to her.
How do they become sissies
- They are boys whom mothers have hyperactively patronized since childhood. Subsequently, growing up, these men live at the expense of a woman who plays the role of his mother. Or living with his mother, lying on the couch, waiting for his mother to spend her pension on him.
- The second mistake is pity, when a woman is consumed by excessive worries about her son, because of which he does not know how to cope with his emotions. Therefore, growing up, he expects that everyone will continue to pity him and understand him indefinitely.
- When mothers themselves raising sons speak badly about other men in front of them. Forgetting that the label “all men are bad” can be taken close to the heart of a boy who later does not want to become an independent man. (By the way, we recommend reading about how to properly educate a boy so that he grows up as a man , and not hold on to his mother’s skirt?)
Resume
What advice can you give to mothers who are raising their sons so that their boys do not become mother’s sons? Knowing common mistakes, try to do the opposite – do not make these mistakes in raising your boy. Then he will form a desire to become an independent man, even being brought up without a father.
Many representatives of the weaker sex have a model of behavior with men in the style of “mommies”. Then, marrying such a man or a guy, they will go around and “wipe his snot”, complaining to everyone in a row that her husband is a sissy, and life is a continuous torment. But how can such a “son” change if instead of one mother he has two of them?
And remember, even knowing how to behave with a sissy, you will not have a guarantee of independent life. Your married life will always be divided into three participants, as the presence of the mother-in-law will always be felt. Therefore, you need to seriously weigh the pros/cons of a relationship with a sissy by asking yourself, do I need this happiness?