You love your partner very much and you think that your relationship is generally satisfactory, but when he gets angry he sometimes insults you, what should you do in that case? In this Bigmatrimonial article, we want to make some recommendations in this regard so that you know how to act if my boyfriend insults me when he gets angry.
Why my partner yells at me and insults me when we argue
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It is possible that on specific occasions one of the members of the couple behaves aggressively in an argument. When this happens, you can raise your voice or scream directly. Also, it may happen that you insult the other member during the dispute. Can we qualify this behavior as normal in a relationship?
Although it is a behavior that can be habitual, it is not normal in a healthy relationship . Aggression can occur for different reasons: stress, mismanagement of emotions, frustration, disappointment … However, none of these reasons justifies it.
Aggression encourages violence. So it tends to go further. If you have entered this dynamic, if in all or almost all discussions there are disqualifications or insults, it is a toxic relationship. It is important to seek the help of a professional who will assess whether the relationship has a chance of getting back on track.
Why a couple who loves you disrespects you
A couple who loves you does not disrespect you. You can make mistakes and get carried away by your emotions at a specific moment, but you should never lose respect.
Sometimes we have a wrong idea of what love is. Love is not suffering, it is not belonging, it is not enduring. Healthy love is free and respectful . It must make you feel good. If your love is healthy, being with your partner will make you grow, you will add to each other or to each other, but you will never subtract.
We must be clear that love is not measured by words, but by deeds. It is our actions that determine whether or not we love someone and not the times we can say “I love you”.
It is useless for your partner to give you gifts, hug you, kiss you, or be the best father or mother you can imagine if you constantly disrespect you. Whether it’s yelling and name calling, ridiculing you in some way, or even ignoring you. Ignoring someone is also disrespectful, silent, but it is.
What to do when there is lack of respect in the couple
When there is lack of respect in the couple, it does not hurt to try to talk relaxed about what is happening. Tell your partner how you feel when he behaves like this. Ask him to change that attitude. Explain what the limits are and do not tolerate exceeding them.
Professional help can guide you in learning good communication. Also to manage emotions and express them in an appropriate way. To listen to the other and express your feelings. To empathize.
Many times we think that disrespect is just insults, but there are many more. Let’s see some of them:
- Ridicule the couple. Be it her physical appearance or her way of acting or thinking.
- Ironies and sarcasms.
- Withdraw attention. Refuse to look at the other when they speak or not answer them.
- End a conversation by slamming the door, throwing objects, or breaking things.
- Non-verbal language: getting too close to intimidate, using your hands to point or make violent gestures, looking superiorly or challengingly …
- Make criticisms looking for the pain of the other or the other.
- Make fun of a couple’s weakness in private or in public.
- Tell intimacies of the couple in front of other people.
- Look down on your achievements.
How to regain respect in a relationship
Of the most difficult things to recover in a relationship are respect and trust. When respect has been lost once it tends to go further and this deteriorates the relationship generating disappointment and rancor.
If certain impassable limits have not been exceeded, it is possible to try to regain respect. In the case of trying, it will be hard and continuous work, as well as constant and will require the intervention of a professional who will help you with couples therapy.
If certain limits have been exceeded, it will be best to end the relationship.
What to do when your partner constantly insults you
If your partner constantly insults you, you find yourself in a toxic relationship that you should end as soon as possible.
If you’ve already explained how he makes you feel when he calls you names and has continued to do so, there isn’t much else to do. Get out of that relationship. Do not minimize the importance of insults, do not consider them normal because they are not. Don’t settle for what you have. Don’t justify it, it has no justification.
Many people believe that they must remain in a toxic and destructive relationship because “it is what they have had” or because they cannot support themselves economically, or because of the children, or because they believe that they will not be able to live without their partner. Do not be afraid. Currently there are many ways to help you. The transition period can be hard, the changes are hard, but it is the right thing for you and for your mental and probably physical health. Ask for the necessary help from your family, friends or acquaintances. Psychological abuse is never justified .
This article my boyfriend insults me is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.