Choosing the right person in the long term is the fundamental thing in a monogamous relationship
Monogamous Relationship Meaning
Monogamous relationship since television and the internet are saturated with reality shows, novels and programs that focus on romance.
We have all seen the typical program of 4 pm, in which a lucky girl must choose between 12 possible prospects which of them can aspire to go out on a date with her.
In the novels it happens the same; It’s all about romance. From the first encounters and the butterflies in the stomach. And once he and she meet, they overcome the obstacles of their love and get married, the transmission is over.
But, what is really important, is just what happens after that. What does not show us the screens or the cinema because it is considered too boring or everyday to have interest.
But let us tell you that when it comes to choosing a long-term partner to have a monogamous relationship.
It is those bland details of everyday life that will make the difference between being a happy person, or being a bitter and frustrated person because they don’t like their relationship, and end up cheating or being deceived.
What television should show us is not the easy part. The part in which they swear eternal love and everything ends between smiles, tears of bliss and a shower of marriage petals. But how these couples manage for the two most complicated things in life:
To tolerate lovingly and remain faithful to each other. Therefore, far from entertainment and fantasy, we will show you the four tricks to choose your long-term monogamous partner with wisdom.
What Does it Mean to be in a Monogamous Relationship?
1.- Do it for you
Monogamy is a very important life choice that does not go to all people, let’s accept it. Making such a transcendent choice when you are not ready or not your thing, can bring much suffering to you and others.
Choosing to be monogamous because of social pressures, or because it is what our parents expect, or because they have told us that any other alternative is sin, is an irresponsible decision for ourselves.
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Either election implies sacrifices. If you decide to be monogamous, you will have to sacrifice all those opportunities to be with another person you like in order to remain faithful to one.
If you choose not to be monogamous, surely many people will not want to establish a relationship with you, because they are looking for monogamy.
Maybe in the end we all decide on monogamy, because it is the safest option on an emotional level. But before doing so, we must be sure that we want to admit that enormous responsibility to another person.
2.-Choose your partner very carefully
You may like the person a lot. Have a great time when they are together. That makes you laugh and that they even get along very well in bed.
But that is not enough to determine that such a person is a suitable choice as a stable and monogamous partner in the long term. Life goals must be similar in many ways.
First, they must be coincident in time and geographic location. There is nothing more difficult than having a remote monogamous relationship.
Second, you have to take into account the values of the other person and their life ideologies. If you don’t, the only monogamous in the relationship may end up being you.
Third, their habits. Monogamy usually ends in everyday life, or at least tends to be one of your most common goals. If the person in question has habits that you cannot tolerate, or you feel that it does not fill you completely physically, intellectually or emotionally, I am afraid to tell you that you may be looking for another person clandestinely when you least realize it.
3.- Understand and know your own sexual desires
Falling in love is the only stage of the human being in which our brain is cognitively blocked towards other attractive people other than being loved.
That is, it is very simple to be monogamous when you are in love. The bad news is that the crush is over. Always. Without exceptions.
Not that we want to be pessimistic. Normally, falling in love leads to a new kind of feeling that is much more authentic and realistic: Love.
But the end of falling in love also opens the door to the number one enemy of monogamous relationships: the need for novelty and to feel desired by other people.
Monogamy requires that you be honest with yourself about whether you can resist the many temptations that are going to get in your way once the hormones no longer blind you to the beauty of third parties, but quite the opposite.
Read more: The 7 Different Types Of Love- Sternberg Love Theory
There are people who are “in love with falling in love” and understand that they are in a stage of their life in which they will do sequential monogamy only while dopamine lasts in the brain. It is valid if you are one of those people.
Just put the cards on the table from the beginning and don’t unnecessarily hurt anyone.
4.- Be yourself and look for what you really want
One of the fastest ways for a monogamous relationship to crash with the infidelity of one of its members, is that they try to be something they are not, to “please” the couple.
When we do this, the only thing we achieve is to increase the chances of ending up cheating or deceiving someone who does give us the feeling of freedom.
In fact, that is one of the most frequent arguments given by unfaithful people. That they feel themselves with the other person. That they feel “free.” And obviously, when this happens, there is already a very strong bond and commitment to the original couple.
Same that in principle should not have been formed if there were not enough common interests. And it will hurt a lot to break.
Read more: Powerful Habits Of Successful Relationships
Many people establish monogamous relationships with inappropriate partners for fear of being alone or finding nothing better. But the only thing they are achieving is to fill the world with infidelities and unnecessary dramas.
Therefore, before embarking with something like that, think with a cool head. If things did not go as expected, it is always better to finish than to cheat.
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Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.