In general, we all tend to make assumptions about how our relationships should be. Many times, these erroneous or biased assumptions are a source of frustrations and problems and become major mistakes in relationships.
Frequent Mistakes In Relationships
The media, movies, magazines, internet, family, friends and others, suppose sources of influence on the way we think couple relationships should be. Many times, these beliefs are wrong, decontextualized, mistakes in relationships or disproportionate.
Many misunderstandings can also result from not communicating properly with each other in our relationships. So we form ideas and thoughts without knowing all the information, since we lack his version about what we think.
Making decisions based on these incomplete thoughts compromises the state of our relationships. In addition to the fact that proceeding in this way can make the other feel undervalued or not taken into account.
Some of the most common misconceptions in relationships are as follows:
1. »If You Love Me, You’ll Know What I’m Thinking»
Nothing is further from reality. To think that our partner should know our thoughts or, otherwise, means that they don’t love us enough.
In relationships, this tendency may be due to the fact that we assume that we communicate our desires, needs or thoughts. When in reality we do not do it or believe that talking about it once is enough.
These assumptions generate frustration in those who expect the other to anticipate their needs, so they will be blamed for it and multiple discussions will be generated for feeling that our relationships do not meet the expectations we have put into them.
The best we can do is communicate clearly and maturely with our partner. Neither of us has divinatory powers and a rich and sincere communication, will make our relationships more healthy, intimate and deep.
2. »A Very Active Sexuality Is Synonymous With More Love»
This is how we show relationships in the media. The truth is that this vision has been “sexualized” in excess because they make us think that sex should be the center of relationships, as well as assuming that having a full and satisfying sexual relationship is simple.
The reality is that, despite being an important factor in our relationships, they rarely pose the main problem of the relationship, but it is other underlying problems that may be coming to light through problems in sex .
“Sexualizing” the relationship only leads to sex not occurring fluidly and naturally, which will distance the couple. If we think that sex is the problem that afflicts our relationships, chatting calmly about the matter may reveal new problematic sources outside the bedroom.
Read more: Mistakes Women Make And Ruin Relationship
3. »If You Did This Or That , Everything Would Work Better»
We refer to pointing out the other as guilty of the problems and not being able to look at ourselves. How we are contributing to increase or decrease the problem.
Obstacles in relationships are part of them. They are painful processes but we should not focus only on our part.
Understanding the pain and point of view of the other, as an individual other than us, will make us better manage these problems.
We are not talking about agreeing. But about seeing that the other has his own feelings and points of view and that they are as valuable and respectable as ours. It is from here where we can start building with each other.
Read more: 37 Signs Of A Toxic Relationship
4. «If You love Me, I Must Be Your Priority»: Mistakes In Relationships
Another big mistakes in relationships. This statement implies the message that if our partner loves us, they must sacrifice for us. While it is important to prioritize our partner, it is unfeasible and unrealistic to pretend to occupy all the other person’s time.
In addition to the responsibilities of each day, each person must have their space and be a priority of themselves. The key is to see the relationship as if it were a team where both are equally valuable and independent.
If we give everything to the other person, we run the risk of losing ourselves. At the opposite extreme, we can make the other feel that we have no interest or that we neglect it. The key is to maintain each other’s balance and identity.
5. “We Should Be Able To Solve This Now”
It is very common to think that all relationships are perfect except ours. Which leads us to try to find out what is the secret that these couples know and we do not.
However, all relationships are complex and go through difficult times. It is important to take into account the points that we have commented and work them in the couple day by day. The key word is to “listen” to each other as well as to ourselves and our emotions, and communicate accordingly.
Relationships are not simple and moments of crisis are part of them. Maintaining a passive attitude to crises is what can lead us to fail.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.