Sometimes, what we think is love is nothing more than an explosive cocktail of physical attraction with a few drops of affection and sentimental loyalty, in which friendship and dry sex predominates above what is confused with love. In this article we read about some differences of love vs passion.
Love vs passion. Why is love confused with passion?
Perhaps only by instinct of survival, by justification and also to preserve sanity in the midst of an unstoppable passion, a stretch of space and time during which two people dared to believe that the other was the love of their life. And maybe it was. Or maybe not, because passion and love, sometimes go hand in hand, but in no way are they the same.
Passion without love and love without passion are possible , even passion and love can coexist together as the best combination that, unfortunately, very few couples manage to maintain beyond the initial phase of their relationship.
As feelings that are, it is difficult to describe passion and love and perhaps there are as many definitions as people feel them. It seems therefore more advisable to resort to a series of generalities that are frequently shared by those who at some time in their lives have experienced love and passion.
In certain aspects, love is born from the individual’s awareness of the lack of something , it is a feeling of incompleteness that makes them feel imperfect, unfinished, propitiating the need to fall in love with someone who fills their gaps and completes their deficiencies .
I will make a parenthesis to clarify that in the context of this article we are only going to refer to romantic love , that love that implies in equal parts both the desire to love and to be loved, as if two people were still two in their individuality but they managed — for love — to become one.
But, let’s consider that romantic love is a desirable and healthy feeling when you live with an intensity that does not exceed certain limits that reach your highest level in courtship and the first stages of relationship and coexistence, but it becomes a utopia if you it harbors if it is intended to turn romanticism into a perpetual goal.
The idealization in romantic love feeds the belief in a projection to perfection that is rather non-existent , and also fosters a series of myths whose non-fulfillment makes those who do not find their ideal partner in their lives feel miserable . That is why it is convenient to be realistic and put this feeling in context, being that from the social point of view, we tend to the wrong idea that no one can be completely happy if they let their lives pass without having found the person who Complement it
One of the most frequent topics is to link singleness with unhappiness, without considering that in addition to love to the other (or the other) there is a very important love without which full happiness is possible, and this love is one that, without exceeding the limits of selfishness or narcissism, enables healthy self-esteem in being and feeling.
Romantic love is a source of immense well-being, a consequence of the bidirectional flow of affection in its broadest sense between two people who love each other, but it is also true that no one can make those who are not happy by themselves happy .
Passion is more related to those events related to certain impulses of our body to which the will is so passive that it ends up disappearing.
Passion is a kind of outburst , a sudden predisposition towards an affective state in which the trigger that activates it creates a psychological imbalance.
Actually, more than an emotion, from an anthropological point of view we can consider passion as a strong impulse linked to the biological predisposition to reproduction , which although it is associated with the sexual impulse, is very different from it.
Is passion and sexual desire the same?
The answer is no. It is worth mentioning that passion and sexual desire are located in two different areas of the brain.
Is passion a feeling?
The answer is difficult, because passion is a consequence of human eroticism , an emotion homologated to a strong feeling towards another person (also towards an idea, a theme or an object) that would almost be better considered as an intense emotion that expresses the I desire for someone or something , and it has very different emotional connotations.
In addition, neurophysiologically passion is a response to olfactory stimuli, flavors, sounds, etc. There is a tendency of the human being to identify passion as a predisposition to sexual play and a primitive instinct. That is why it is very difficult to include it in the field of emotions.
However, if we study it as we do with emotions, passion is very similar to a compulsion , an impulse that grows from desire and manifests itself to the extent of being destructive by its capricious, intense and irrational need to be satisfied. .
If passion arises simultaneously in two people who are together, the unconscious associates this drive with other brain areas where the need for reproduction and perpetuation of the species lies and the consequences are explosive.
Evolution of love and passion
Love vs passion. In the beginning of a romantic relationship, passion becomes very intense , so much that it predisposes to become obsessive about the other person. However, as time passes and the relationship progresses, passion levels decrease while, if the relationship progresses, a deep love is consolidated in which the security of each of the components is gaining more security without the urgent need to look at the other and be with him or her.
Contrary to what many would like, passion is not eternal and as the relationship consolidates it gives way to a cluster of emotions and feelings more calm and much less impulsive.
We could say that passion is the force of sexual desire , the outburst that is allied with the instinct to perpetuate the species, a compulsion that calms the obsession experienced by the desired person who can also be loved, although this does not It is essential for passion to manifest.
However, love is a more benign, more docile force, a profitable, edifying and creative impulse that arises with the encounter, is nourished with the frequenting and the verification of the feelings of the other , and enables the personal growth of both individual as well as in the development and maturation of the couple.
To avoid disappointment and demystify the sweetened version of romantic love given by literary and cinematographic works, it is necessary to be clear that when a relationship begins it is normal – also gratifying – the desire to be with the beloved person, while experiencing a euphoria that fills us with happiness to feel the conviction of having found the love of our life.
However, this is nothing more than a stage that often fades with the passage of time, for the same reason that the passion felt at the beginning of the relationship is fleeting although while experiencing it is associated with the feeling that it will be eternal.
Conclusions of love vs passion
Passion is associated with an initial stage of the relationship , has an expiration date that varies according to each case, is characterized by attraction and desire towards the other person, and while it lasts nothing seems more important than the relationship in which he is blind to the defects of the other and lives in the utopian fantasy of being able to overcome all obstacles so that what he feels at that moment never fades away.
On the other hand, love is a feeling that stems from an empathic understanding of what each component of the couple wants and needs . The good of the other is preferred to their own and the attitude of help and collaboration with the loved one is permanent and without expiration while love is kept alive. True love is much more than passion, and not simply an emotional state that time vanishes until it disappears.
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Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.