Human beings do not function automatically when it comes to affects. Thinking of someone is a reflection that that person has a meaning for you. However, it may happen that to stop thinking about it the way you do, is the most convenient. For example, when you are in love with someone who does not correspond to you.
Therefore, it is not so much about stopping thinking about someone but about changing the focus of this emotional experience. How to stop thinking about someone? In Bigmatrimonial we give you ideas to get someone out of the head of the heart.
How to stop thinking about someone you like
Table of Contents
This process of forgetting is gradual and gradual. How to achieve this purpose?
1. Try to keep your mind busy with other matters
For example, you can learn a new language, attend classes in a course that you like, go to the gym, focus on the immediate occupations of work, develop a job improvement plan, surprise friends with special details… Does it mean that you are not going to remember that person anymore? No, but when you act in this way, you lead your attention by scheduling an agenda that requires your personal involvement.
2. Don’t do things that harm you
For example, when you consult that person’s social networks, you feed their memory instead of forgetting. To mark distance from this person it is recommended that you avoid those situations that lead you to reinforce the image of that someone in your mind. For example, avoid viewing photos.
And what happens if at some point you can’t avoid it? Be nice to yourself and continue on your way.
3. Focus on your flaws
Instead of nurturing idealization, focus on those aspects that you don’t like. You can also remember behaviors that don’t seem admirable to you. You can enhance the forgetting process by consciously looking at this perspective.
4. Share your purpose to forget him
Share with others of your utmost confidence your commitment to forget that person. When you verbalize your wish to essential friends, you increase your involvement in this goal. In addition, they will also be a support for you by being able to comment on details of this evolution. To forget someone you need time, but time does not do everything by itself.
5. Meet other people
When you feel that someone is unforgettable you run the risk of locking yourself up in that thought. However, when instead of isolating yourself, you try to activate your social relationships to nurture your emotional well-being with conversations and encounters, you are expanding your map at this point in your life.
However, beyond these tips, the definitive key to change lies in the clear conviction that forgetting him is the best thing that can happen to you.
When to stop thinking about someone? Four situations
In which cases can you consider stopping thinking about someone? In Bigmatrimonial we list a catalog of possible situations:
1. Stop thinking about your ex
A relationship breakup doesn’t fully materialize until that person has internalized that information in their mind and heart, too. It is then that goodbye takes on deep meaning. To stop thinking about your ex , you have to go through a necessary grief process.
2. Stop thinking about someone whose memory makes you suffer
When the memory of a person is synonymous with pain for you, you need to move beyond this fact to heal the emotions you feel around this experience. Human beings are so complex that they can suffer from a very distant memory of the past. For example, it may happen that, in relation to this point, it makes you suffer what could be and was not. Or the eternal question of not knowing what would have happened if you made a different decision in life. No one can be a fortune teller of yesterday, the reality is what it was. Concentrate on your present!
3. You give a lot and you receive a little
The emotional bank account of personal relationships is at a good time when there is a balance between giving and receiving. However, when you have the repetitive pain of involving yourself with a person who responds to you with indifference habitually and this affects you in the form of suffering, it is recommended that you stop thinking of that someone as a priority for you.
4. When the memory steals more from you
Thought is part of life, just like memory. When thinking about someone becomes a weight that takes you away from the desired state of illusion, joy and well-being, it is positive to do something about it. For example, when this thought becomes a form of mental rumination.
4 reasons to stop thinking about someone who doesn’t suit you
- That person could have his moment in your life, however, for certain circumstances, it must be in yesterday. It is important to forget the past and live in the present.
- To forget someone you not only have to get them out of your mind but also out of your thoughts.
- When you spend so much time in your life thinking about someone who should be in your past, you don’t leave room for the new.
- Perhaps, thinking about that someone is your only way to maintain the emotional bond through the emotions that you experience inside you. However, you have to let go of this memory to accept reality.
5 tips to stop thinking about someone according to psychology
Finally, in order to forget someone, we must follow some advice that psychology offers us:
- Conclude why you have made this decision and act consistently with this initial motivation.
- Make a plan . What are you going to do to stop thinking so much about that person? Make a list of actions you can take to achieve this end.
- Set yourself goals that you can meet to reinforce your level of self-confidence. Don’t make impossible promises to yourself. Don’t speed up the process of forgetting through haste. Take the time you need but move on your way.
- Every day read an inspirational quote from a famous author. And it connects with the message of the day as a mantra of fulfillment. If one date doesn’t especially help you, change it to another.
- Write a farewell letter in which you express a message of oblivion. Writing it down and verbalizing it will help you take the first step.
How to stop thinking about someone? Starting to think of you
There are times when some unpleasant situation, or just a beautiful girl does not go out of your head. This is a common phenomenon, but if these thoughts interfere with you, you need to get rid of them. Read this article to find out how.
Method 1 of 3: Reason
- Acceptance of thoughts. If you were just trying to stop thinking about someone or something, you probably found it almost impossible – if it were so easy, you would not read this article. In fact, studies have shown that it is much better to accept unwanted thoughts than to try to drive them away. In one such study, adoption practitioners had less intrusive thoughts, lower levels of depression, and less experience than those who tried to resist their thoughts.
- Accepting your thoughts does not mean at all that you like them, or you agree with them. You just have to recognize them as part of the current reality. Allow them to exist, and do not try to control or change them. By doing so, you are depriving them of their strength, and they will begin to appear much less often.
- Focused distraction. Most likely, you have already tried to distract yourself in order to drive unwanted thoughts out of your head, but have you tried concentrated distraction? Studies show that it is better to be distracted by one specific thing than to jump from one to another, trying to get rid of unwanted thoughts. An aimless stream of thoughts is connected with anxiety, so do one thing, for example, read a book, or listen to music, but devote all your attention to it.
- Throw them away. In a study published in the journal Psychological Science, scientists found that when people write down their thoughts on paper and then throw it away, thoughts are automatically nullified at the level of the mind.
- Take a lesson. If your obsessive thoughts are caused by the fact that you made a mistake, and you mentally experience this action again and again, try to treat this as a lesson. Ask yourself what this lesson is and what conclusion you can draw from this. Summarize in one sentence, and write it down.
Method 2 of 3: Employment
- Be active. Exercising that requires constant concentration is a good way to clear your mind. In addition to this, through exercise, the body produces neurotransmitters and endorphins that enhance your mood.
- Create mental stress. Take your intelligence by solving Sudoku or a crossword puzzle, solving complex mathematical equations, or making a list of necessary cases. Your brain uses all the resources to complete these tasks, and it will not have the time or energy to process unwanted thoughts.
- Laugh. Laughter helps get rid of excitement. When we laugh, our brain is fully engaged – it gives signals to the body to perform a series of gestures and make sounds. Laughing helps reduce stress, so if thoughts make you worry, laughter will be a good cure. Spend time with friends with whom you have fun, watch a funny movie or do yoga laughter. You can even find doctors who specialize in “laughter therapy,” teaching people to laugh openly at ordinary things and use humor in difficult situations.
- Speak out. Often, the best way to get rid of thoughts is to talk to someone. Talk to a friend or loved one who is a good listener and share with them what you have in mind. If you think that your friend will not be able to help you in your situation, contact a specialist or consultant who will give you time.
Method 3 of 3: Stopping Thoughts
- Write down your thoughts. Your thoughts distract you from your daily activities, and bring you anxiety, excitement and fear, so write them down first. Make a list of your thoughts, from the most unwanted to the less unwanted.
- For example, if you think that you may lose your job, your list may look like this: 1. How will I pay all the bills and take care of the child? 2. What if I do not find a new job? 3. I will be ashamed of being taken out of the office along with my things.
- Start your practice with less unwanted thoughts.
- Submit your thought. Sit or lie down in a quiet place. Close your eyes. Imagine a situation in which you might have such a thought.
- Stop the thought. Set a timer or alarm for 3 minutes. Then concentrate on your unwanted thought. After the timer or alarm rings, shout “Stop!”. This is a signal to your mind to clear itself of thoughts, and try to stay in this state for about 30 seconds. If the thought returns, shout “Stop!” Again.
- You can get up when you say “Stop!”, Snap your fingers, or make a clap. These actions increase the stop effect and interrupt your thought.
- Instead of a timer, you can record on the recorder how you shout “Stop!”, And put this record as a sound signal after one, two, three minutes. When you hear this sound, clear your mind for 30 seconds.
- Practice. Repeat this exercise until the thought begins to go away on command. Then repeat the exercise, and interrupt the thought in a normal voice, instead of screaming. After your normal voice stops the thought, try to whistle “Stop!”. Over time, you can just imagine “Stop!” in my head. At this stage, you must be able to stop the thought when and wherever it appears. Once you have achieved such control, do so with the next thought on your list, and so on.
- Don’t think “I stop thinking about ____” or “I don’t think about ____” , because you will begin to think more about it.
- Do not expect quick results. Even after you have mastered all the techniques written here, unwanted thoughts will still appear from time to time. Take it for granted, be patient, and remember that the thought of this event or person will pass over time.
- If you are thinking about something, start a conversation with someone. Thanks to this, you will not focus on your thoughts, but on what your interlocutor says.
- If you see a person every day, avoid eye contact; pretend that the person is not nearby.
- If you see a person every day, imagine him as a different person.