How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone

Human beings can have different forms of chains that limit their freedom. Some chains may be internal. Obsession is an example of this. Fortunately, anyone can break free from such a bondage, but to do this, they have to be committed to this personal goal. This occurs when the person assumes that this feeling does not make him happy, on the contrary, it makes him feel defenseless by constantly living conditioned by this desire that seems to overshadow any other type of expectation. How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone? At Bigmatrimonial we would like to help you.

4 tips to overcome an obsession with someone

Once we have identified that we have an obsession with a person, it is time to learn to treat them. To do this, we recommend you follow these steps:

1. Take your time and your life with other people

That does not mean that by surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones who make you feel good, this discomfort will disappear in a matter of a day. However, if you are consistent and consistent with this idea, little by little, you will have more distance from that person who focuses your attention, and you will have new experiences that allow you to acquire a new vision about your life in general, and about this matter. in particular.

2. Be careful with the imagination

The obsession can grow exponentially from this path in which you recreate the image of a perfect person and dream of happy scenes by your side. Confront the imagination through experience by making an objective reading of the facts.

3. Beware of the eternal question: “What if?”

For example, “what if the situation changes in the future?” This question can be applied not only to this situation but to any context of doubt. However, it is not a question that puts the focus in the right place. What are you going to do from now after having lived this experience? This is a question that helps you focus your attention on the present and the short term of your life.

Do not ask other people for possible news in the life of someone you want to forget. And if you see someone adopt this attitude with you, then express this desire to them. For this obsession to go away, you also have to make room in your life for novelty. If that person continues to occupy all your time on an emotional level, you do not promote real evolution.

4. Psychological help

If you think you need this specialized support to turn the page on this episode of your life, choose an expert, qualified professional who inspires confidence. In this way, you can advance step by step in each session, eliminating emotional dependency and having the support of the specialist who treats you.


Feeling the irrepressible need to check something to rest easy, we can apply the following prescription: “If you do it once, you do it five, not one more or one less, although you can also not do it ever.” Thus, we use the same structure of the problem to destroy it.

By having to repeat the same action five times, you begin to have the ability to decide, since what was previously an urgent need is now an absurd and tedious repetition. In addition, an option that until then was unimaginable appears: the possibility of not doing it.


If we block any answer to the doubts that assail us, we will get more space for the experience. To do this, we will limit the energy dedicated to theoretical solutions and the search for conclusions and certainties.

If we are unable to block responses and immediately stop worrying, we must always give all possible responses in writing. So, again, we get a mental mechanism to become a voluntary act .


Every time, for example, we avoid making a decision for fear of making mistakes, we are confirming our inability to face this type of situation, fear grows and it is increasingly difficult to lean towards an option.

Avoiding fears weakens us, and overcoming them the next time they arise will be much more difficult. Better to act.


Fear appears involuntary, spontaneous, without us calling it. If we apply the logic in reverse, that is, trying to produce fear voluntarily, we will be able to block it.

This prescription is used only in some types of obsessions and achieves especially positive results.


Every day at the same time, never after dinner or first thing in the morning, we can write for twenty minutes or half an hour all our concerns, about ourselves and the rest of life circumstances. This allows worries to never overwhelm us, since what until then has been an intrusive, invalidating and involuntary element becomes voluntary.


If we feel the need for everything to be in a perfect and predefined order so we can feel calm, we can introduce a little mess, a little variation. This will allow us the necessary flexibility to live with an ever-changing environment.

Human beings require minor uncontrollability to better appreciate control of our environment.


We can learn to carry our obsessions like a shadow. However, this ploy requires the utmost attention to avoid turning your head towards obsessive thoughts that involve torture.

The difficulty lies precisely in maintaining an observant attitude towards the ideas that assail us, without intervening or fighting, similar to meditation.

How to overcome an obsession with someone - 4 tips to overcome an obsession with someone

Symptoms and beliefs of an obsession with a person

Your own beliefs can fuel this obsession. What are the frequent ideas?

  1. My happiness depends on you.” When you become obsessed with a person you suffer because you make this feeling a necessity. And this need fuels dependency. Your happiness is within you. Don’t put it in the wrong place.
  2. I have never felt anything like it for anyone.” Idealizing your feeling and intensity can make you mistake love for an obsession. In fact, in such a situation, the question is not to love more but to love better. And, for this, you have to start by loving yourself better.
  3. “He is my prototype person.” Maybe you had the ideal image of a possible couple, however, it is positive that you let life surprise you. Don’t be a slave to your own ideal and know people as they are.
  4. I am not valuable enough for that person.” Don’t put your self-esteem in this factor that has nothing to do with your own worth. What happens is that, sometimes, the obsession can cloud the vision regarding what is really important.
  5. This feeling makes me feel alive.” In opposition to that constant uneasiness that accompanies an obsession, true happiness resides in a stable state of mind that is incompatible with this situation.
How to overcome an obsession with someone - Symptoms and beliefs of an obsession with a person

Obsession with a person: treatment

How to occupy your mind to remove this obsession with someone?

  1. At work . The professional field acquires therapeutic value when you focus more on this aspect to try to steal the limelight from that obsession that weighs on an emotional level. The matters of work are more immediate, therefore, refer to the present.
  2. In you . You have spent so much time with that person that you deserve to take care of yourself and resume your own life with all that it implies. In other words, begin to focus your energy on your own stories and find your own path and vocation.
  3. In your family and friends . Listen to other stories, know other vital stories. Let those teachings also take up a part of your time.
  4. Be interested in topics that you like in a self-taught way. Learn at your own pace through reading, for example. If you wish, you can also take courses.

How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone? Make a commitment to your own happiness and go out to meet yourself.

This article is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.