When we met in 2007, my wife and I lived 300 km from each other. She lived in Nimes. And I lived in Toulouse. For 2 years we have lived a long distance romantic relationship. Today we both live together. How did our relationship last so long? Was it easy? In this article, I offer you 12 tips on how to show love in a long distance relationship and, even better, live this time to the fullest!
Yes, it is possible to create a happy long distance relationship.
And yes, it will take some effort.
But the reward is worth it !!!
1 – Distance in love: ask yourself the right questions
Table of Contents
It is important to clarify your relationship as soon as possible.
What type of relationship do you want to have?
- a friendly relationship?
- you want the other to be your boyfriend?
- do you want to get involved? get married ?
What does loyalty mean to you?
Where does infidelity begin?
Do you want an exclusive relationship or not?
If all the answers to these questions seem obvious to you, this is not necessarily the case for the other.
How do you see your future ?
Would you consider moving if the relationship gets more serious?
Are there things that you are afraid to say to another for fear of not being understood or, worse, being rejected?
This is the time to say it because the other must be aware from the start in which relationship he is entering.
Do you have personal projects?
It was my wife who had the courage to set the record straight from the start of our relationship.
I sincerely think that this point is part of the good foundations of a relationship.
2 – Amorous distance: keep in touch
Obviously, everyone tells you that in a long-distance relationship, you have to keep in touch …
Ok, but how? How often ? And I say what ???
Let’s see how to keep in touch?
Nowadays, the means of communication is really not what is lacking:
- the phone,
- voice over IP such as Skype which allows you to make free calls via the Internet,
- MMS, these messages to which you can add sound, images and even videos,
- instant messaging with or without a webcam,
- A bouquet of flowers,
- a package.
How often should we contact each other?
If this is not possible then call as often as possible .
When I say to call each other, it means to contact each other either by phone or by Skype: so face to face!
If you can’t call each other every day: make a weekly appointment . For example, every Friday evening reserve the evening just for the two of you.
It is very important to maintain this contact. This helps maintain an emotional connection .
These meetings make it possible to create a framework for the relationship.
Advise if you can’t call so you don’t worry the other.
Stay calm if your friend doesn’t call you anymore: a cell phone theft, a battery problem, an alarm clock failure happened so quickly.
To avoid routine, vary the means of communication : an unexpected SMS, a surprise email.
It costs nothing and it’s nice: it means I’m thinking of you!
Also remember to send surprise gifts for no particular reason, especially if it is your partner’s language of love!
For the record, I made my wife cry by giving her a camera sent via Amazon.
How long do I have to call?
The consistency is more important than quantity.
Sometimes you will have a lot to tell yourself and other times you just won’t have anything to say to each other.
And this is normal.
We will see in the rest of the article that it is possible to stay on the phone without necessarily having something to say to each other.
To give you an idea, I’ll give you the habits we had when we lived our romantic relationship from a distance.
We called each other every noon to find out how the morning went and what we had planned for the afternoon and evening. Duration: 5 to 15 minutes.
In the evening we called each other to find out how the day had gone and to discuss further. Duration: 30 minutes to 3 hours!
But what can we say to each other on the phone?
- talk about your victories,
- of your defeats,
- of your fears,
- and of your joys,
- talk about your past, your present, your future,
- ask for advice,
- full of ideas in my book “ Who are you my love?”.
Rest assured, not all discussions are necessarily deep.
They can also be fun , quirky or even naughty!
3 – Love distance: positive
Yes, you are lucky to have a long distance romantic relationship !
It’s awesome !
Thanks to the long-distance relationship, you have several advantages over more traditional couple relationships:
- you have more time for your friends,
- you have more time for your family,
- And you have more time for your personal projects,
- you have more time for your career plans,
- you have more time for your sporting, cultural and leisure activities,
- And you have more time for YOU!
- you have the pleasure of seeing you again after a long absence. When we are in a relationship, we tend to want to do everything together, which is a serious mistake: we choke and annoy each other, sometimes to the point of not even supporting each other!
- you have time to think and don’t get carried away too quickly. This makes it possible to avoid getting carried away at the slightest badly received message: a dry SMS, a critical email, etc.
Remember that this long distance relationship is temporary . You decided what to do next from the start of your relationship.
Your positivism is very important because it breathes an air of security and happiness within your relationship.
4 – Romantic distance: do things together (at the same time!)
When we are a couple in the same house or the same apartment, we can do a lot of things together without really having to be in the same room .
You want examples ?
- watch the same movie at the same time on a TV channel!
- read the same book.
- listen to the same music at the same time. You can also play your music through your phone.
- play a multiplayer online game.
- sing together!
- cooking together. Take a photo of your dishes and rate the best!
- set the alarm clock at the same time to wake up at the same time.
Synchronize yourself for certain activities and you will have the impression of doing them together: running at the same time, shopping at the same time, etc …
A fun game to test from tomorrow:
- sync your watches to keep them at the same time. It also works with cell phones!
- set your watch to strike at a certain time: 6:27 p.m. for example.
- When it rings, think of the other.
- and enjoy yourself by thinking that the other is thinking of you too !!! I see a smile on your face!
5 – Distance in love: trust yourself
Never call him to spy on him.
You don’t have the right to control the other.
Give him his freedom.
Call regularly, every day is good and it’s good for the couple, but calling every hour… no!
If you can’t help yourself, work on your self-confidence (because that’s where the problem is) or you risk suffocating the other.
Let your partner go to his parties and trust him.
Do not ask him for a detailed report of his evenings: with he / she was? Who did he / she talk to? Etc …
In short, do not fall into the trap of sick jealousy.
Be happy when he / she is having fun.
Above all, don’t prevent him from having a social life and take care of yours too!
6 – Distance in love: challenge yourself!
Here’s a great way to wait until your next meeting.
- do 100 push-ups,
- cut your cigarette consumption in half,
- learn to cook a rather difficult dish (it seems that women know how to conquer a man: by the stomach !!!),
- play a song on the guitar,
- lose 5 kg.
These challenges have two big advantages:
- make you wait until the next appointment,
- motivate you to achieve your goals
7 – Distance in love: build your future
Discuss your plans, your dreams, your goals as a couple.
How do you see yourself in 10 years? Or ? With whom? Children? In what environment?
This will give you motivation to continue your efforts for your relationship because you know that there is a future together and you visualize it!
8 – Amorous distance: find your strength.
Sometimes the trials of married life are tough.
Sometimes you would be ready to drop everything to see if the grass is greener elsewhere (nothing is less certain…).
To keep hope, courage and strength, remember the good times.
How? ‘Or’ What ?
Thanks to the photos where you are together happy and smiling.
Create an album with you and your companion in your best moments.
Yes… he is beautiful, I love him and I want to continue living with him.
Yes, she is beautiful, I love her and I want to continue living with her.
No, I won’t let this argument, this annoyance, this ordeal ruin everything. We have had so many happy moments and there are still many more!
My wife gave me an album with pictures of her and us. I loved watching her to remind myself of my love for her, especially in my moments of doubt.
9 – Distance in love: find yourself
A long-distance relationship can only work if you can actually see and touch yourself .
Set together how often you are going to see each other and stick to it!
Plan to meet physically as often as possible.
The two main barriers to your appointments are:
- the budget.
There are solutions to make trips economical: buy tickets in advance and carpooling.
This is what my wife and I did for 2 years.
The carpooling has several advantages:
- economical: the costs are divided by the number of passengers,
- fast: time flies faster because you can chat with other carpoolers,
- nice: you will meet people,
- Convenient, the driver can pick you up and drop off at a location that is more convenient for you than the train station or the airport.
My tip to make your life easier from a distance: Google calendar.
This electronic diary allows you to know which are your free weekends, which are the important appointments that the other has (doctor, maintenance, car repair, etc…) and therefore to quickly find a weekend for both of you!
10 – Amorous distance: your totem
Exchange an object that you can touch, look at, or smell in order to remind yourself that the other is present in your life.
It is an object that reassures you and brings you closer to the other.
It can be whatever you want:
- a piece of jewelry: necklace, ring, watch, bracelet, …
- a stuffed toy,
- a piece of clothing on the other: a T-shirt, a sweater, or … other
My wife had kept a t-shirt that I had left at home. Me it was his photo album.
11 – Romantic distance: the couple is a two-man effort
Work for a balanced relationship between partners.
A relationship must be built on solid foundations:
- the confidence,
- the understanding
- and determination
to make it work.
Everyone has to put in the same amount of effort.
Both partners must have reasonable expectations and be willing to cooperate in order for the relationship to lead to a happy ending.
Remember to ask questions.
If you don’t have one, then the other person may think that you are less interested in them.
12 – Romantic distance: take care of your privacy
When you do get together, make sure you are alone together so that you can enjoy this special moment .
Also, don’t forget that you can share intimate moments remotely : by phone and webcam …
Do you live or have you experienced a long distance relationship?
What tips did you use to make your relationship last?
What were your mistakes?
Thanks for your sharing.