My ex asks me how I am: what to answer and what attitude to adopt?
My ex asks me how I’m doing, what should I do?
That’s a question a lot of men ask themselves when they get a message from their ex.
Because once the break is over, it’s already difficult to move on.
So when you are contacted by your ex while trying to forget him, you don’t always know how to react.
Especially since in this case, several interpretations are possible.
So how to behave when you receive a message from your ex?
Should we answer him, what should we tell him, and what attitude to adopt?
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Here are some answers.
My ex asks me how I’m doing: what does that mean?
If your ex recontacts you, it can mean a bit of everything and its opposite.
But most of the time, that means two things.
Either she’s trying to win you back, or she’s just worried about you.
She is testing the waters
A woman who reconnects with her ex may have a very specific goal in mind.
Namely that of recovering it.
In this case, she’s probably trying to test the waters a bit before taking action.
For example, she may start by asking you how you are doing.
And depending on your answers, it will gradually branch off towards an attempt to win back.
The point with this message is mostly to find out if you have someone in your life.
Because a woman is not going to go blind, without knowing if her ex has already found someone or not.
She will always make sure that you are single before trying to get you back.
But be careful, that doesn’t always mean she really wants to win you back.
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She worries about you
Sometimes a woman who reconnects with her ex has no hidden intentions.
She may also just be genuinely worried about him.
If you get a message from your ex asking how you are doing, she might not be expecting anything.
In this case, that means she’s moved on, and maybe looking to reconnect with you as just friends.
But then how do you know what it really is?
How do you know if your ex’s message is about regret, or genuine, selfless concern?
Learn to read your ex’s messages
As I just told you, a message from an ex can say a lot, or on the contrary nothing at all.
To find out what it is, you will therefore have to learn how to decipher this complex code.
And for starters, you’ll be interested in how often your ex posts.
Message frequency says it all
Between an ex who wants to win you back and an ex who has moved on, there is a world.
Especially in terms of the number of messages it sends.
A little “hi, how have you been since time?” after six months, that doesn’t mean much.
Especially if this post is a completely isolated case.
On the other hand, a “hey, I just wanted to hear from you, kisses” is already a little more evocative.
Especially if this message is followed by others of the same kind.
Several a week, even one a day, it becomes very very evocative.
And that probably means your ex wants you back.
But don’t take a single message for a flirtation attempt.
For this to be meaningful, the frequency of messages from your ex must be really regular.
A different tone according to the intentions
The tone used by your ex in his messages is also revealing.
In general, a neutral and jovial tone means that she has moved on, and that she does not have any particular desire.
On the other hand, a melancholy tone, coupled with a message that sounds like regret, it rather means the opposite.
But it is also up to you to know how to recognize his attitude.
After all, you are supposed to know her well, and know when she is dating and when she is selfless.
How to react when your ex reconnects?
It’s not all about knowing why your ex is getting back to you.
You still have to know how to react to your messages.
And again, it’s up to you to see what attitude to adopt, depending on what you want.
Either you don’t want to put the cover back on, and you just want to move on.
Either you regret the separation, and you want to win back your ex.
You don’t want her anymore
If you don’t want to get back together with your ex, then there aren’t too many questions to ask yourself.
When she asks you how you are doing, answer her in the simplest way possible.
On the other hand, if you feel that she is really in pain, try not to add another layer.
Stay as neutral as possible in your discussions, and don’t make her suffer unnecessarily by letting her hope.
Gently show him that you’re not interested.
You want to get it back
This case is quite different.
Because if you want to get your ex back, you absolutely have to be detached.
Or in any case, talk to him as little as possible.
Because if you give her too much change, she will get bored.
Yep, it might sound surprising, but women don’t like it when it’s too easy.
Finally, let’s say that you will more easily create the lack in your ex by totally ghosting her, rather than clinging to her.
So if you want to get it back, don’t respond too quickly.
You might sound like a hungry guy.
Answer him a few days later, and keep some distance at the start of your discussions.
Then once you have created a real lack in her, you can take action.
In this kind of situation, the main thing is to adapt your behavior to the reactions of your ex.
It is according to her attitude to her that you will know how to react to her messages.
My ex girlfriend writes to know how I am
My ex-girlfriend writes to know how I am , but I don’t know if I should answer because I am applying zero contact, and I think that if I answer her I will only push her away even more.
If your ex-girlfriend writes to you to find out how you are, well we can consider this as a good sign, but this can also be very normal if your ex-girlfriend knows that you have taken the breakup very badly.
And that is why we can say that it can be very common for your ex girlfriend to write or look for you, and not precisely to return, but to find out how you are.
If my ex-girlfriend writes to know how I am, should I answer?
As in all cases, friend, to be able to answer this question, we must first know what stage it is in, for example, if the relationship ended a few days ago, well it may be normal that your ex girlfriend looked for you as I already said.
But if you haven’t known anything about her for a long time, and now she appears again in your life to ask how you are, we can say that everything changes.
But this time I will only base myself on what you should do if your ex-girlfriend writes to you a few days after ending the relationship, because somehow this is where your reconquest strategy begins, and this is where you should prepare the way to get it back.
If I am applying zero contact I must ignore it
For men who want to get their ex girlfriend back, the term ero contact means cutting off all communication with their ex girlfriend, but if your ex girlfriend is looking for you , I think there is no problem in answering a couple of messages and nothing more.
The problem here begins when it is somehow impossible for you to get away from your ex girlfriend, or in any case when she is the one who is always looking for you, in these cases without a doubt putting a stop to it is necessary, because you must apply a certain zero contact time Otherwise she will only start to see you as a friend.
Remember that answering a couple of messages, and telling him that you are fine and that now you cannot speak because you are busy, even if this is not true, it can add a lot of value to you as a man.
Because if you get to behave like a reactive man who is now upset because she ended the relationship, well you can only make it more than clear that he does not want to talk to her, and that the best thing is that he never looks for you again.
You know why a woman stops looking for you
There are men who would seriously give their lives for their ex girlfriend to send them a message, or something like that, but of the men who have this opportunity and do not know how to take advantage of it, the most common thing is that they end up ruining the opportunity.
If you are applying zero contact and it is your ex girlfriend who is looking for you, what I suggest is that you do not ignore her or that you do not send her to hell thinking that this will make you look like a super man.
Because one of the worst things in this type of situation is not knowing how to start contact with your ex-girlfriend again, when it was you who made it clear that she would not look for you.
So in the end we can say how do you want your ex girlfriend to look for you again, if you have made it clear for a long time that she will not look for you?
If your ex-girlfriend writes to you, well, learn to ignore her, but with a bit of technique, but don’t end up ignoring her so that she never looks for you again.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.