In a couple relationship it is normal and healthy for conflicts to arise as a result of the diversity of opinions and positions. Sometimes, due to a matter of pride or due to the desire that the other person take the first step, that reunion is postponed for longer than desired by both.
When you reconcile with your partner in a constructive relationship, the relationship regains its balance and harmony. How to reconcile with my partner? In Bigmatrimonial, we give you ideas so that conflict is useful to improve the relationship, learning to correctly manage the resolution.
How to reconcile with my partner after an argument
Next we will see the main 5 steps to solve a relationship problem:
1. Focus on the relationship, not the conflict
After a disagreement, you can focus mainly on the reason for the distance by giving special weight to the desire to be right, or on the contrary, you can prioritize the care of the relationship itself .
This is something that anyone does in their life in general both in terms of love or friendship when, for example, they appreciate their social relationships despite the defects they see in others or in themselves.
You may not know what to say exactly, or you may be wandering around how you can handle this conversation. However, you can bet on the simplicity of apologizing sincerely. Look into the other person’s eyes and express this message that not only nurtures the relationship, but also your own state of mind.
If it is your partner who takes the initiative to apologize, you can also respond assertively .
3. Organize a plan for two
Throughout the calendar, there are many different reasons for celebration, however, the couple themselves can take the initiative to program reasons for shared illusion. When a reunion occurs, it is a good time to consciously live that moment through planning an activity for two. It is important to share quality time and enjoy activities together or together.
4. Take care of the privacy of the relationship
Discussions and reconciliations are part of the script for all couples. But it is very important to value the intimacy of the relationship itself and share aspects of this type, only, with close friends who respect this privacy. Sometimes it can help you on a mental level to talk to someone outside the conflict.
5. Use kind words
To approach postures it is necessary for both people to change positions and travel part of the way. This is achieved through assertiveness: listening to the other person and respectfully expressing how you feel. Reinforce the use of kind words that nurture closeness. And repeat your partner’s name more often in the conversation.
3 tips to honestly reconcile with your partner
Reconciliation is an act that is only sincere and true when, within the protagonists, that matter has been closed. How to reconcile yourself honestly and sincerely?
- Re solver the sake of argument. It is positive that the issue that motivated the discussion has been clarified and resolved. For this, it is advisable to always carry the conversation towards the description of the facts and not enter the plane of personal evaluations. It is important that both parties agree.
- Take responsibility . When a discussion occurs, both members have collaborated in some way to bring about that moment. Everyone can also do self-criticism internally.
- Extract a learning . Each new experience is a new opportunity for learning about the development of new resources and tools with which to face couple’s conversations, placing value on assertive communication.
We start this article with a question: How to reconcile with my partner? You can write a decalogue of proposals in collaboration with your partner on creative ideas for reconciliation.
Couples therapy to reconcile
If you’re still wondering “how to reconcile with my girlfriend or boyfriend,” pay attention to this other tip. The couple therapy can be a great tool for improving communication and dynamics of the couple , but should always be mutual agreement for the two people to do their part, they feel comfortable and get forward together.
So, in addition to the above tips, we recommend that you think about proposing to go to online or face-to-face couples therapy together, since someone professional will help guide you and improve your communication. In this type of therapy, you can perform dynamics, exercises, games and other activities focused on improving or reestablishing the bond between two people so that they can continue living together so that both feel happy and manage to communicate successfully.
4 Mistakes that take you away from couple reconciliation
The behaviors to avoid in the face of a conflict are:
1. Bring the past to the present
It is of little use that when you are having a couple’s conversation in an argument, you re-name previous couple’s discussions about matters that are part of yesterday. When you open the door of the past you feel overwhelmed.
2. Choose a bad time
When you’ve had a bad day and feel exhausted from work, you don’t have as much of a predisposition to keep that conversation hanging as you’re more impatient. Choose a quiet moment in which you can focus at that moment without interrupting the mobile.
3. Always take the initiative
In a couple relationship there must be a balance. When it is always the same person who takes the initiative in couple reconciliation, there comes a time when he is exhausted from taking the step because he feels that he bears the main weight of what happened.
4. Discuss a lot
When constant arguments and reconciliations occur in a couple relationship, the protagonists can also become aware that they are immersed in the dynamics of a relationship that produces wear and tear.
This article is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.