Infidelity is a problem that affects a large part of relationships and is based on the breakdown of an explicit and implicit fidelity agreement. It is one of the main reasons why couples come to perform a couple therapy process .
Generally there are many types of relationships and therefore many different promises and commitments.
However, the majority of the population understands this word as a sexual act outside the relationship or marriage. That is why we must highlight other acts such as long conversations with insinuations, quotes, kisses, caresses or hidden messages and phrases.
If you feel that the agreement you had with your partner has been broken by an act that can be considered as infidelity, I recommend that you continue reading this article.
Reasons Why We Need To Know How To Overcome An Infidelity
In the first place we find a feeling of losing something that has not really been valued, which leads to a subsequent regret. On the other hand, a feeling of insecurity, guilt, boredom or emotional emptiness may appear.
It is very important to keep in mind that an infidelity cannot be faced because it has already happened. To really face it would be to focus on solutions, not the problem. For example, a solution would be to trust again, to try, to find in both parts that they contributed so that the relationship of two becomes a triangle.
Also possible solutions is to forgive but not continue the bond and relationship, etc. All this will depend on the people involved and their wishes.
The biggest problem that usually appears in cases of infidelity is the loss of communication and trust.
It is possible to forgive and remake but it is very difficult to forget and overcome the events experienced because the past is the one that will shape and condition the present and the future.
Keep in mind that there will always be fluctuations after an extramarital affair, so the journey to follow after an infidelity is irregular and must follow its normal course, whatever the decision.
The person who committed the infidelity must be willing to discuss what happened and express their feelings of pain and, for this to be possible, the other person involved in the couple, that is the deceived party, must also be able to listen and express what he felt
Most of the time the person participating in the adventure ( whether female or male ) promises to leave the past behind.
But in addition to this you must rectify your actions and work again on the trust of your partner to be able to build another relationship outside the Signs of deception, for example, learning how to control jealousy can be useful.
This can be a long and expensive journey, so both individuals should be sure of what they want and should speak sincerely about their thoughts and feelings.
The person who committed the infidelity must think about why he did it and also the deceived individual must think about the role he played in the other person so that he could deceive him. These are some of the factors that should be applied if you want to know how to overcome an infidelity.
Forgive An Infidelity Or Forget An Infidelity?
In this case the eternal debate appears, is it better to forgive and overcome an infidelity or better not to do so? For which there are endless opinions.
The causes for which the affected person finds out about the lie are, on the one hand, the pain and emotional discomfort caused by hiding a betrayal, accompanied by regret and remorse.
Others, on the other hand, intend to end the commitment in a radical way, even if the marriage or domestic partnership has children. With all this, a series of conclusions and advice are established .
It concludes with a lower number of female infidelity than male, probably because of culture and history. As regards the advice, the most important, but not the only one, is trust and communication, which enhances and improves the relationship.
In addition, it is necessary to take care of the couple and not fall into the routine trying to make each day unique and special, avoiding needing other external support.
Therefore, to learn how to overcome an infidelity it is essential to learn to value the person we have at our side and what we have built with it , appreciate the little things that will make us happy, observe and avoid falling into selfishness, since if a compromise is entered, it must be fulfilled and if not, break it in the best way.
All this, trying to do the least possible damage to third parties that surely are not going to deserve it, it is better to be sure of the emotions they feel that they have to reach the point of decision to forgive the person or not and to suffer the Try to overcome an infidelity.
Practical Advice To Overcome An Infidelity
Here are some practical tips that will help your relationship successfully overcome the drama of infidelity .
Remember that these tips should be followed whenever your intention is to know how to overcome infidelities, since, if you have doubts, it will be useless to apply them, because your lack of trust will not allow them to work:
1. Think, But Don’t Downplay It
Yes, I know it’s hard and that you feel cheated (or cheated), understanding the situation better and getting your doubts out will help you not to assume things or blame yourself.
One of the infidelities with the highest percentage are those of a casual nature, where there is no affective but sexual relationship, but the truth is that love and sex are not linked inextricably.
In some cases, it is not worth spoiling a relationship that goes well because of the fact that, at some point, one of the two had their heads off at a specific time conditioned for some reason. That does not mean there is no love. But this is not why it should be downplayed.
2. Leave Fear Behind
Most times, when, in a relationship, a person is unfaithful to the other, there is a paradox that the person who has been unfaithful is afraid that their partner is. The logic is “he will take revenge on me by doing the same” or “now he knows that I cannot tell him anything if he is unfaithful to me.”
You must leave those fears and that way of thinking behind, since, even if it is logical, the relationships do not work like this. If the other person loves you, he will forgive you and will not do the same, because, precisely, he knows the damage he causes.
3. Talk To Your Partner
This point is very important. To overcome an infidelity you have to understand what it was, what he felt and what he currently feels. Be honest and clear to address the situation as completely as possible and make sound decisions regarding what they feel and what they want.
4. Don’t Be Invasive
Distrust is another symptom of infidelity but it is better to focus that energy on you. The person who has suffered the infidelity, may be tempted to check their partner’s mobile, follow her, etc. in order to discover if infidelity still exists.
If the other person notices, it is obvious that the discussion is served. Therefore, the best thing to do is to work on oneself and see if there is a chance of regaining confidence and not being invasive.
5. Bring Trust
In line with the above, if it is you who has committed the infidelity, what you should do is try to give your partner confidence. That is, to show him that what happened was a mistake and that you have no intention of doing it again.
To do this, you should avoid giving rise to suspicion. In this way, you will avoid giving what we discussed in point 4, and you will get the relationship to heal faster.
As you can see, these are serious couple problems in any relationship, but that does not mean there is no way to solve them. With these simple tips that we have given you throughout this article you should be able to learn how to overcome an infidelity. Remember that your relationship is worth more than a slip.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.