Many people feel pain about breaking up. They do not have the strength and desire to live in a new way, find time for themselves and look for a new partner. We figure out why bad relationships do not allow us to live normally and what needs to be done to forget and let go of everything. How To Let Go Of A Bad Relationship And Move On?
Why bad relationships get in the way
Storm of emotions
It is difficult to throw a person out of the head, even if he could part with him. If one partner has abandoned the other, then the gap will be perceived as the loss of a loved one. A person accumulates anger or sadness. He does not experience joy, only devastation. Yes, you have to be angry or suffer, but it is good. After a breakup, time is needed. First, anger transforms into sadness, and later a person begins to experience the joy that he can live differently.
Breaking up a relationship often leads to shame – “others manage to keep the family for many years, but I do not.” Shame is dangerous because of toxicity. It makes you lose heart, and there is no strength to go further and build new relationships or live peacefully alone. The shame of a breakup can be so strong that a person is cut off from social ties so as not to show how bad he is and how sorry he is.
Break of habits
In relationships, people do a lot together: wake up, have breakfast, rest after work, travel. After a breakup, a person has to do everything alone. You have to involve friends in your usual affairs, but this does not help. It is difficult to rebuild to a new regime – sometimes a person did something for another. Now he understands that he did not like breakfast and walks in the evenings, but he does not know how to replace them.
An annoying partner
Sometimes, after a breakup, one of the partners tries to make up and start the relationship anew. The second partner may not have any desire to return to the past – he will feel fear from the insistence of the former, he will defend himself, become even angrier. Perhaps he will go to extreme measures: move or file a report with the police.
Why it’s hard to let go of past relationships
Parting with a partner in strength is equal to the death of a loved one. Sometimes people go through the same stages of accepting grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Therefore, people after divorce are depressed for several months or even years.
If partners disagree by mutual agreement, it will be easier to part. But getting rid of thoughts about the ex is difficult even in this case – the brain needs time to rebuild neural connections. Cafes, parks, cinemas – everything will remind you of past relationships. For new neural connections to appear, you will have to go to the same places with new thoughts and people.
Even at the biological level, a person is a social being. It is difficult for him to be alone. After parting with a partner, it is difficult to live with a “hole”, to feel the need for another person. At the same time, there is no strength to patch this hole – time must pass.
How to let go of past relationships
Try not to dive into the world of emotions, but be saved by intelligent applications. Making a list of the pros and cons of your partner will help you understand why you broke up. Make a list of your goals and desires – so you will understand in which direction to move on.
Forgive your partner
This method only seems close to esotericism, but it helps to exhale and release anger and resentment. If you cannot communicate with the person you live with, conduct an internal dialogue. First, you have to express all the anger that you feel. But then try to forgive and say thank you – even if you eventually broke up.
Give yourself a rest
Take care of yourself. This does not mean that you need to go on sick leave and quit. Conversely, work and socializing can help you distract yourself. But if you don’t feel like it, don’t do it – try to live in your own rhythm and solely for your own sake. If there are many other things to do, delegate them to others. Tell us about your problems, ask for help. Remember, this pain is not for life.