Walking away from someone you have loved very much always involves grief. Even if you have realized that this person was no longer doing you good. How To Leave Someone You Love But Is Not Good For You?
The good news is that you have taken the most important step, which is to decide to prioritize yourself and your needs. Now it’s time to find the tools to try to make it easier.
THESE TIPS WILL HELP YOU GET THROUGH THIS STAGE.
1. Allow yourself to express your pain
You may feel that crying and expressing your pain makes it more difficult, but there is nothing further from the truth. Accepting that it hurts is the best way to heal. If you need to cry, do it. If you need to talk to someone, do that too.
Don’t be ashamed of what you feel or try to deny it. Well, if you act like that, sooner or later, that grief will be expressed in some way.
2. Don’t expose yourself unnecessarily
If you have decided to walk away, do not expose yourself to doubt, rejection, or relapse. Remove that person from social media, and if you can’t do it, at least try not to spend all day looking at their profile.
Try to avoid texting at dawn or going places just because you know that person will be there. I know, sometimes it’s hard not to be tempted, but exposing yourself to pain will only make it harder.
3. Use your energy in creative things
Staying locked up at home using all your energy to go back repeatedly on the same things makes no sense. Even if it costs you, choose to leave the confinement.
Find a hobby that you enjoy and keep your mind busy. If it’s something creative, so much the better! Creativity connects you with the best of yourself, with things that maybe you did not even remember that you liked. It is time to return to them.
4. Accept the situation as it is
Many times, when we make a difficult decision, at the same time, we begin to wonder “what would have happened if …”. It is an ugly feeling, and the truth is that it does not lead to anything since you cannot change the past.
The truth is that things, in general, do not happen in the perfect way that we had in mind. No matter. Accept will be the keyword during this process.
5. Surround yourself with the people who do you good
When you’re sad, the best thing you can do is lean on people who genuinely and healthy love you. Go out with your friends, go eat at your parents’ house. Talk about the subject or anything else, but don’t stop being with the people who do you good.
Don’t be afraid of being a drag either: they will know how to understand the stage you are going through, and they will have all the patience you need at this time.
6. Meet new people
It may be the hardest part of all since you may have been a bit insecure after walking away from that person. You probably think that relationships are not your thing and that you only need solitude.
It is healthy not to want to “pull a nail with another nail,” but it is also important that you allow yourself to meet new people, at least to remember that the world is full of worthwhile people and with whom you can get along.
Then you will decide, in time, when you are ready to tackle something more serious with someone. But in the meantime, have fun!
7. Take care of yourself more, judge yourself less
Instead of spending your days judging everything you’ve done and blaming yourself a thousand times, use your time to take care of yourself. Go back to doing your favorite activities. Treat yourself to a spa day. Eat well. Rest well.
The best way to get out of pain is to feel strong and confident in who you are.
Remember: the pain will pass. You just have to give it time.