What is the main difference between couples who are in a love relationship and stay together for a long time (or even their whole life) from those who quickly break up? You can say that the first trite luck to meet your soul mate. But I think it’s not a matter of luck at all. The point is the so-called “intimacy”. How To Keep A Relationship Strong And Happy?
It is the first time I am so actively focusing on this concept. What does it mean for men?
Intimacy as the Basis for Strong Love Relationships
Intimacy doesn’t just mean sex. It is an illusion to think that every sex with a woman for a man carries “intimacy.”
True intimacy extends far beyond sexual relationships. It is based on a deeply personal connection between two people.
Long-term intimacy includes the ability to understand your partner, accept him with all the flaws and oddities. Simply put, if you chose this man, then he attracted you with something, and you accepted it in him.
When couples say that the reason for their breakup was the lack of a “spark” in the relationship, as a rule, they missed it – the real intimacy, which is behind trust, acceptance, admiration, and the ability to see the best in each other.
Yes, these simple words turn out to be the foundation of this “intimacy” between a man and a woman. If you want your love relationship to be strong and long-term, you will have to work hard to shape it.
So what do you think usually prevents a couple from developing deep intimacy? How to start destroying the walls of your shell because of which love relationships keep at arm’s length?
You do not have to puzzle over these questions. I have prepared some tips based on the experience of hundreds of personal consultations.
So, happy couples who create intimacy in their love relationships achieve this through the following nine rules.
1. Open up fully to your partner
Opening up or confiding in a man is often misunderstood as a weakness. It is not the case.
Yes, at this moment, you will feel vulnerable. But when you show your partner your vulnerability, it is perceived by him as a manifestation of trust in him. So you secretly tell a man that you are open to him. And in this case, you act like a woman.
If it is really “the same” next to you, he will accept you for who you are and provide all kinds of support. Even more, he will thank you for being so frank.
Thus, the love relationship rises to a new level, where there is trust, respect, and understanding.
Vulnerability is the willingness to be the first to say, “I love you,” without hoping for a similar response. It is a decision to invest with all our heart in a relationship where there are no guarantees, where you can get hurt easily.
Vulnerability asks for help, talking about your needs and concerns, instead of keeping everything to yourself. It is to be gentle, weak, to be a girl, a woman.
2. Play like children
Love relationships that have playful elements tend to be happy, strong, and durable.
“Serious” relationships, which are influenced by a 40-hour workweek, loans, taxes, and other “adult” problems, are more prone to breakdown.
Why does playfulness keep couples together? Maybe because the game takes us back to that carefree time – to childhood, there were no problems. The game allows you to relax and stop stressing each other. As strange as it sounds, when we allow ourselves to be relaxed, we become “real.” We focus completely on the joyful moments. And it brings us closer. Makes love relationships more intimate.
It doesn’t matter what games you play with your beloved: board games, with a ball in nature, tennis, role-playing games in the bedroom. It is important that at this moment, you reveal yourself to him. And he is in front of you.
This moment of revelation is a kind of sacrament, your “secret for two”, which strengthens and, most importantly, prolongs your love relationship.
3. Be generous
Generosity in a love relationship shows a willingness to give for nothing and not to receive something in return. To bring pleasure and happiness to your partner. Believe me, and a man is pleased with your acceptance of his generosity.
Generosity also expresses in a willingness to forgive him when he offends you and sincerely ask for forgiveness when he offends you.
Be generous in your love relationship. Give him your recognition, admiration, smile, joy. And your man will certainly thank you for this.
4. Surprise each other
Surprises can breathe life into even the wildest relationships. They can create truly magical moments that become a breath of fresh air for those who are mired in everyday life and have already begun to forget why they live with their partner.
At the very beginning of a love relationship, all the dates, conversations, and games in the bedroom are full of surprise. Every day you learn new things about your partner.
But over time, this light tends to fade away if you do not deliberately take care of “throwing firewood” into it.
They still enjoy seeing joy and admiration in the eyes of a loved one. And that is one of the factors that keep them together.
Sometimes small joys are enough. For example, a gourmet candlelit dinner (cooked by you!), A surprise party for his birthday, or buying tickets for a football match.
Add a task to surprise your loved one to your weekly checklist, and you will be amazed at how much it will bring you closer each time.
5. Take time to be together
Work, household issues, raising children, books, TV shows, social networks – all this takes a lot of time. It scatters the attention of partners, especially those who have been together for a long time.
If you are all in work, business and cannot yet give up on them, try to allocate the maximum amount of time and attention to your man. Otherwise, the relationship may end.
You can write him nice SMS when you are at work. Send your beautiful photos. And when you stay close, forever forget about business at work, girlfriends and male colleagues or male acquaintances.
6. Make physical contact
Touch has the ability to change mood, express feelings, and give pleasure. Are you feeling bad today? Lie on your beloved’s knees, tell about your experiences, or just be silent while he strokes you on the head.
Did he return from work extremely excited, dissatisfied with the demands of his boss? Help him calm down. For example, give a foot massage. Embrace. Kisses.
A chain of such actions can awaken in you and your partner a completely natural desire to have sex. The passion that awakens during sex breaks down the walls of misunderstanding.
7. Appreciate your love for a man
There is a lot of confusion in life that can affect the love relationship within the couple.
Imagine that someone maliciously spread rumors about you or your lover. For example, girlfriends are actively gossiping that he has an office romance at work. Believe it or not?
Here everyone decides for himself. But think, who do you trust more? Is your doubt worth the risk you could expose to your relationship? Is this a good enough reason to destroy them? You need to fight for your happiness. More precisely, it must be appreciated.
Moreover, there are not always enemies who are trying to interfere with your happy future. Sometimes you have to work on yourself.
8. Common dream
The goal that both partners want to achieve unites because it requires mutual understanding and mutual support.
As a result, “you” and “he” cease to exist. “We” is formed, which is an expression of your general opinion, your love relationship.
I am not saying that you must necessarily have far-sighted plans (for example, save money and build a summer cottage). It can be something completely insignificant (a desire to spend a weekend together, try something for the first time together, a joint hobby).
It is important that both partners want this. And it will bring you closer and strengthen your relationship.
9. Honor your love relationship
I’m not talking about respect for each other’s feelings (this was already a little above), but about actually putting the relationship with your partner on a pedestal. Even more accurate, recognize your man as number 1.
And remember: everything that happens between you and your man concerns only you two. You should not talk in detail about all your relatives, friends, and acquaintances. Usually, this can only hurt your relationship.
By speaking, you violate the principle of mutual trust, which is necessary to maintain intimacy with your beloved. Your partner will be immensely grateful to you if everything that bothers you in your relationship, you will discuss only with him.
Any relationship, even ideal (as it sometimes seems from the outside), needs both partners to make certain efforts to strengthen and preserve them. And this process cannot go according to the plan. The rules I have listed are only guidelines.
You are responsible for your life and love relationships. You can listen to my advice, but you will have to make important decisions yourself.
Yes, you will often hurt each other. Both of you will make mistakes that you have to regret. But they learn from mistakes. It is the only way you can learn to properly “take care” of your love relationship.