Love is the decision to love someone well, and now the question comes what is it to love someone well? Loving someone well is loving, it is accepting, it is generosity, it is caring, it is cultivating, it is listening, it is respecting, and starting above all with ourselves. When communication begins to fail on a day-to-day basis, it is time to do something to how to fix a broken relationship with your boyfriend.
It is important to know that cultivating your partner and love is a job that requires will, awareness, maturity and attitude. Love is not infatuation, infatuation is a transitory emotion that lasts a few months in our organism, which alters brain chemistry and makes us feel in a cloud, distracted, anesthetized, doped with happiness, etc… but this is no more that an altered state, very funny yes, very pleasant, very addictive and euphoric, but only a transitory state.
The love is more stable, and it does not hit the rush of oxytocin and internal chemistry, but is more stable and more regulated keeps our brain chemistry. Love is a decision, it is an act of maturity, it is born from consciousness, will and attitude.
In order to love someone it is essential to respect them, and also to surrender and accept them, it is necessary that all these processes have been previously internalized in ourselves and in our experience. Therefore, it is important to do a self-work of love, to be able to love and let ourselves be loved as well.
And a note: if we are lucky, that it works, to find our partner and cultivate a happy marriage or partner is something that brings very positive consequences to our life and our family and I will also tell you that it is one of the best things that they can happen to you, it is a precious gift of life full of love.
Having and being a life partner with whom to grow, develop, love and overcome all the circumstances that life brings us, is one of the best gifts we can receive in life.
Problems that describe couple crises
These are the problems or difficulties that couples most commonly describe as grounds for separation or divorce:
1. communication difficulties
And also associated we have:
4. sexual problems
5. differences in core values
6. traumatic events
7. problems outside the couple9. problems with the couple’s family
8. problems with children
9. financial difficulties
11. emotional dependence
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18 ideas to recover your relationship
If you want to cultivate or repair a healthy relationship, I suggest some initial actions to begin to repair and cultivate your relationship:
1. Forgive and forgive yourself
End the grudges and forgive by consciously choosing to start over, this is essential to be able to repair a relationship that has passed or is going through a crisis and although you have doubts you want to move on.
2. Always support each other
keep in mind that the person with whom you share your life, you share the most important thing in your life, your time, your love, your children, your finances, your privacy, your home *: be a good partner of life and a great companion to your partner.
3. Taking care of intimate relationships
Fostering the passion of the couple is very important to being a couple. Without intimate relationships we will be another type of friendship, brotherly, partner love. But a relationship requires intimate relationships.
4. Communication, very attentive
It is important to take care of communication in the couple, not to take things for granted or misunderstood. Say what we want to communicate and if we do not understand or something hurts, ask. It is also important to cultivate trust in the other and the peace of mind that we are in a safe environment.
5. Put a dose of respect and acceptance
Respect and acceptance are qualities that guarantee success in relationships. The question is easy, how do you feel when you feel accepted and respected?
6. Cultivate time alone for enjoyment and for both of you
Time alone is a gift for the couple * having a partner and not spending time alone is like working and not going to work, or eating without eating * The couple’s time is vital for them to be nurtured and stay alive.
7. Cultivate your own relaxation spaces
Self-care also does a lot of good for the couple, and shared leisure, the agreed shared or individual relaxation, also brings many benefits and fresh air to the couple.
8. Evaluate together what you are, who you are and where you are going
From time to time, when you are born or at least once or twice a year, do a reset of how you are, where you are going, who you are now, what you want, and share projects, dreams, states, needs, thanks * many Sometimes you discover more in a conversation of a couple of hours with your partner than in a whole year of living together.
9. Apply maturity and not deposit our frustration on the other
When the day is not as we would have liked, or work squeezes us, or our children overwhelm us, it is important not to go to the other to deposit our frustration. It is easier to vent to your partner and tell him that the day has been hard or even ask for help, than to increase the snowball and increase the problem with unnecessary disgust.
10. Apply affection, self-care, cultivation of the couple
Stop every now and then and think that what we don’t do today is one less day we could have done. If you want to love, care, give kisses, receive kisses and say I love you, take advantage of every moment, and reflect on whether you prefer to let yourself go with the day to day and routine, or stop, breathe and do your day to day in your own way. A healthy couple needs to put their will, attitude and desire, to know that life has its moments and that we live ours and those of our partner as well. And to understand that attending to true love, dedication, generosity, rejoicing for the good of the other and feeling trust and support.
11. RECONSIDER WHAT YOU TAKE AWAY FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP
We have to decide whether we want to take the path of adventure, uncertainty and risk, or whether we want to commit and stay where we feel security, reliability and durability. Realize whether you are concerned with that one person with whom you want to share your life or whether you are only concerned with the fact that you have someone by your side.
12. HAVE PATIENCET
Here are phases in which we develop further and sometimes that doesn’t happen in parallel with the partner. Nevertheless, we grow in our relationships, shape the other person and learn to have to take it easy. Things don’t always go smoothly, but that’s part of a healthy relationship. It is precisely then that it is important to address these issues.
13. LEARN TO APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE
Nowadays there are so many ways to get confirmation (dating apps) and get to know new people so quickly that you succumb to temptation much too quickly. One is not happy in the relationship, but we believe that we were told to be happy and that this goal may come what may. In doing so, we forget to focus on our actual goal: the relationship. You should try not to question yourself and your relationship so quickly, not to rely on the diverse range of countless partners that could be found on dating platforms, but try to find confirmation in yourself and the relationship.
14. ACCEPT THAT YOUR PARTNER IS DIFFERENT FROM YOU
Everyone is different and that’s a good thing. The soulmate shows us that people can be very similar, but not the same. So if your partner doesn’t dance just as wildly with your new favorite band or if you find his/her new jacket totally bourgeois, then realize that everyone has their own individual views and tastes.
15. LOWER EXPECTATIONS OF YOUR PARTNER
Our partner should always be everything in one person: best friend, lover, good father / mother. We have to realize that he / she cannot always be that for us, know more about the humanity of our partner and not constantly try to change him.
16. IMMEDIATELY TELL YOUR PARTNER IF YOU’VE DONE SOMETHING THAT YOU REGRET
You should always talk about what is hardest to do. One should especially confess the fraud. Because fraud is still taboo, but something like this happens more and more often and expresses something of our wishes and needs. Of course, it’s hard to talk about exactly about it with the partner, but there has to be room in a relationship to talk about it in order to be compassionate and trustworthy – it may be mega uncomfortable, but it will strengthen the relationship and be an honest and Create a resilient basis.
17. ADJUST YOURSELF TO THE OTHER PERSON
Try to adjust to your partner’s habits and adjust to the other’s rhythm. This can often help to understand the other person better and to discover new sides to both you and the partner despite a long relationship.
18. LEARN TO FORGIVE
If you still love your partner even though they screwed up, there is no shame in staying and trying again, even if that is now frowned upon in this society.
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Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.