How to end a long distance relationship ? Throughout this Online Psychology article, we will try to reflect on this question.
Today, the excess of communication between everyone, globalization and the ease of being able to travel make it more likely to start a relationship and that your partner will move to another city for work or that one summer day you In love with a person who lives a thousand kilometers away.
On some occasions, one or both members of the couple can wear out of the situation and begin to suffer from jealousy, uncertainty, problems to enjoy time together, lack of physical contact, among others … leading to cause the rupture of the relationship. But how do we do it?
Do long distance relationships work?
Love and long distance relationships challenge the kilometers and maintaining a healthy relationship in these circumstances is a great effort on both sides.
First of all, you have to be clear if you want to end the relationship or not. Carrying a long distance relationship can be complicated but despite the difficulties it may be worth it . It is also possible that we are going through a couple or personal crisis and that we move through emotions that do not lead to being more sensitive and impulsive.
How to solve problems in a long distance relationship
Talk to your partner about how you feel and check that what happens to you is not something temporary, that it is simply a problem of lack of communication or that it is only a problem of distance that can have a solution. Ask yourself why you want to break up with this person and identify everything that makes you unhappy in the relationship. If you are clear that you want to end your long distance relationship, we recommend that you continue reading this article.
How to end a long distance relationship: psychology tips
Here are some psychological tips if you want to know how to end a long distance relationship:
Do it in person
Although the distance makes it difficult for you, you need to talk face to face with your partner and expose the situation. You will think that it is easier to leave it by whatsapp or through a writing, but you will cause the situation to be cold and insensitive and the other person will feel undervalued. If it is impossible to see you face to face, use the video call tool before the chat. Eye contact helps the understanding and expression of feelings.
Take the reins
Don’t make me do it for you. Assume your responsibility and do not begin to maintain behaviors that deteriorate the relationship so that it is the other person who decides to leave it. Accentuating conflicts and discussions trying to get more excuses to end the relationship or for your partner to raise it is not a good idea.
Plan what you want to say and be firm
Before meeting your partner, mentally organize all those ideas you want to convey. Don’t make the love break sound like a suggestion and make your intentions clear. You should not go back because of feelings of guilt or compassion.
Find the right place
Avoid those places where you usually go together, where they know you or where you have lived some of the most special moments of your relationship. You have to find a place where you can have privacy .
More tips to end a long distance relationship in a healthy way
- Express your feelings . It is essential that you start the conversation by indicating what you feel, what your experience with this long distance relationship is.
- Give importance to the relationship lived . Introduce that the relationship has been important to you but that keeping it at a distance has become unsustainable.
- Do not blame! Do not accuse him of anything in particular. Attributing the blame to the other is a way of self-justification and not facing the decision itself. Although there may be exceptions if the other person has made a mistake, such as infidelity.
- Let your partner express what he feels about it. Have empathy and listen to their point of view. You must be patient and talk about those things that the other person needs to know.
- Avoid saying phrases like: “It’s not you, it’s me” or “maybe we can be friends.” They can make the situation worse since they are not usually honest and sincere phrases.
- Keep the distances . It is difficult to stop talking, avoid saying good night or ask how he is but all this can give confusion and false hopes which will not help you to face the situation. You have to allow time to overcome the dueling stage. It is not about never speaking again but about giving time to overcome the break.