Each country and nationality tries to observe all the customs and traditions of their ancestors. Thus, not only is the special reverence and respect expressed, but also the beliefs of the ancestors. It was believed earlier that if you hold a wedding celebration according to all traditions and customs, it promised a happy life for the newlyweds.
Regardless of the status of the family, people followed all the wedding steps in stages. Currently, some of them have lost their meaning, some have been interpreted in a modern way. The same applies to matchmaking by the groom, one of the oldest wedding customs.
The custom of matchmaking in a modern way
Initially, it was up to the parents to determine who and when to marry. Only with their blessing did the marriage take place. Matchmaking was one of the important stages of the wedding. Initially, the groom informed his loved ones that he wanted to get married.
If he had a girlfriend in mind, he could call her name. In the family, older relatives consulted, tried to find out more about the girl in order to understand whether to give consent to such a marriage.
If the parents agree, then they invite matchmakers and send them to the bride’s house. Smartly dressed matchmakers went to the bride’s relatives in order to obtain their consent to the marriage. The matchmakers praised the groom, talked about how many positive traits he had.
The girl’s parents receive matchmakers in their house and listen to them carefully. In the event that a candidate suits them, they invite the groom and his parents to their house, making an appointment for a specific day
On this day, the bride prepares for her future relatives, makes gifts for the groom. As a rule, a shirt or a thing sewn with your own hands acts as a gift. The bride’s task is to show how economic and efficient she is.
Which scenario to choose – in prose or poetry?
Nowadays, the matchmaking ceremony already looks completely different than in ancient times. But this is such an interesting and original custom that it is worth trying to carry it out.
Often, the parents of the bride and groom only meet at a wedding. This is a completely wrong decision, because from now on they are one family and should see each other long before the celebration.
If we talk about the modern interpretation of matchmaking, then it can be combined into one meeting at once. For example, the groom comes to the bride’s house together with his parents and close relatives. Mother and father begin to ask the bride’s parents to marry her off to their noble son.
The groom’s parents talk about how good their child is. After the bride’s mother agrees, the groom decides to check on the bride. He pours out a handful of coins that need sweeping. The girl must collect all the money with the help of a scoop and a broom.
As soon as the girl successfully completes the task, all the guests go to the table. This, as a rule, ends with a previously prepared script. The bride’s parents set the festive table and invite you to taste delicious food.
At the table, you need to talk not only about the upcoming wedding, but also try to get to know each other better.
In Russian style
Due to the fact that matchmaking is a Russian folk custom, then it should be carried out in accordance with all the canons. This will help not only pre-prepared poems, jokes, but also costumed outfits.
The groom needs to wear a white shirt with embroidery, and the matchmakers need to wear painted scarves. The groom’s relatives should not come empty-handed. They bring a loaf of cabbage or apples, a bottle of alcohol and other simple snacks. Thus, they kind of warmly prepare for communication with future relatives.
In the event that you want a completely unusual matchmaking scenario, you can make a surprise for the bride. For example, persuade a girl to go to a cafe with her parents, and there the groom and his family will be waiting for them.
The man will cordially invite everyone to the table and treat him to delicious food. This is a very good scenario, because it does not have to strain any of the women. Select the menu you will order in advance.
How to have a fun matchmaking with tasks for the bride and groom?
It is necessary for two parties to organize matchmaking at once. First, the groom must warn the bride and her parents that on the appointed day and hour he will come to visit the bride. Then the bride’s relatives will help to prepare and set the festive table.
Secondly, the groom’s side must come with a clear demand for wooing. She needs to describe all the positive aspects of the bride and get blessings from her parents.
The bride and groom should prepare gifts for their future relatives. The groom always comes with gifts to his father-in-law and mother-in-law. This can be a hammer and a frying pan. The bride makes handmade gifts. One present in the form of a delicious cake is also suitable. The task of the bride is to show with her present how good she is.
Often the matchmaker gives the final gift to the bride. She gives as a sign of consent to marriage, earrings or a ring, which must be at the celebration. In modern times, the groom can give the final gift by giving the bride her wedding ring.
Matchmaking does not require strict adherence to the script and exact words. It is important to understand what the main task of matchmakers is. They try to praise both the groom and the bride so that the parents on both sides agree to the marriage.
After a small matchmaking ritual has passed, everyone goes to the table.
Please note that the matchmaking itself lasts quite quickly and dynamically . Therefore, it is not worth delaying both the contests themselves and the speech. It is better to write the text in advance in a poetic form, which is much better perceived by the audience.
Choose as matchmakers the most active and artistic personalities who can really get used to the given role in a short time.
At the end of the evening, you can turn on festive music and have some fun with your matchmakers. After all, the main task has been completed and now the families only have to get to know better.
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.