In the house where the young girl lived, relatives were always on alert. They knew that matchmakers might appear very soon. As a rule, matchmakers did not give advance notice of their visit. Therefore, the girl’s house was always clean, comfortable and tidy.
The mother and the bride could set the table in a few minutes so as to treat all those present. Not only home preparation was considered important, but speech as well. Words for matchmaking on the part of the groom are of great importance, with their help you can both establish relationships and completely stop all contacts and contracts.
Preparing for the custom in our time
At present, it is not so important how accurately all the old customs and rituals are observed. In many families, matchmaking is already closely intertwined with engagement. It is not so important what the name of such a tradition is. More important is how it will be held and what the matchmakers will say.
In the old days, none of the young people made a decision about marriage on their own. This was the main task of the matchmakers. There were always matchmakers in the village who knew who was free in their settlement and was waiting for the next marriage.
As soon as a young man decided to marry, he informed his parents about it. Mom called a matchmaker into the house, who told them possible options. At the same time, the matchmaker, as a rule, knew the bride’s family itself, pointing out their positive and negative sides. Thus, matched pairs were made.
As soon as it was possible to determine the candidacy, the parents could send a matchmaker to inform about their nature. Several options are possible here at once.
In the first case, the groom’s parents did not go to marry, since they were waiting for official consent from the bride’s relatives. In the second case, the parents went with the groom to ask for the hand and heart of a beautiful girl.
The groom had to prepare gifts: for the bride, future father-in-law and mother-in-law. The young man always came with bouquets of flowers, which he presented to the girl and her mother. Everyone put on the most festive outfits for matchmaking, thus on the street it was immediately possible to understand that people had a special event.
The bride’s parents, long before the celebration itself, began to collect the dowry for the girl. It was accepted that the bride moves into the house of the groom, and then they build a house and go to live separately. It was not accepted to live in the girl’s house. However, on her part it was necessary to completely acquire the dowry, which included:
The richer the bride was, the larger she had a dowry chest. This was one of the issues that was actively discussed at matchmaking.
It was believed that a girl should have everything for a further comfortable family existence. The homeless woman had the worst of all, since she simply could not be married.
A prerequisite during the ceremony was some kind of secrecy. The young man and his brothers-in-law did not tell directly why they had come to the house. There were special phrases by which it was possible to understand the intentions of the guests who came:
- “You have a key, we have a lock”;
- “You have a product, we have a merchant.”
At the same time, similar phrases are spoken on the doorstep to the house. As soon as the bride’s parents decide to invite everyone inside, they start listening to compliments about the groom. It is necessary to praise him as much as possible, pointing out the positive aspects.
The education, work and interests of the young person are currently being described. It is quite possible to mention the existing real estate. As soon as the parents realize that the groom suits them, they begin to actively praise their daughter.
This is done so that the matchmakers understand that it will not be so easy to pick up the bride. All this time the young people are present, they timidly stand aside and are embarrassedly silent.
Modern matchmaking scenarios vary. But still, in most cases, young people are present. The most energetic and artistic relatives are selected to act as matchmakers.
Their task is to praise the bride or groom as much as possible. After the parents pointed out the positive aspects of their daughter, they also talk about what kind of hostess she is, inviting those present to the table.
What to say to matchmakers and what are the rules of matchmaking?
Previously, it was generally accepted that it was impossible to indicate why they came to the bride’s house. When parents ask questions, wanting to know about their intentions, matchmakers should play around in every possible way, without exactly showing that they want to marry.
During the matchmaking, after the ceremony itself on the doorstep, everyone is invited to the house for a laid table. Parents are discussing the upcoming wedding. Only initially the mother of the bride talks about what dowry they give for the girl.
It is believed that the dowry should be as large as possible. This adds an advantage to a particular bride. If the young lady does not have a dowry, then the groom and his parents can refuse such a bride.
After discussing the dowry, the adults move on to the upcoming wedding. First, a date is assigned. Previously, she always made a start from church holidays.
Weddings were held either in the spring or in the cold fall. During this time, as a rule, there was less work in the garden and in the fields.
Competitions for guests
The ceremony itself often became a noisy and cheerful event that delighted everyone around. Competitions were arranged at will. Nowadays, this can also be done. The contests will help future relatives to get closer and get to know each other better.
One of the most popular competitions was the dance in the basin. For this, the father of the bride and the mother of the groom stood in one basin, starting to dance actively.
Competitions could also be held for young people. They especially liked the entertainment on the street. For example, a tug of war.
Folk signs and traditions
In world, like nowhere else, they believed in omens. Many of them are still observed today.
- It was not customary to arrange matchmaking on the 13th, especially if it was Friday.
- As soon as the matchmakers were allowed into the house, they had to touch the door frame, making a very imperceptible gesture.
- If the bride was informed in advance that guests would come to the house, then she certainly bought or did something new. For example, she sewed a tablecloth or laid rugs.
Matchmaking is a special rite that has come down to us since the time of Ancient Rus. Currently, it has been slightly changed in a modern way, but the meaning is the same.
Matchmaking words are of great importance . Basically, they are pronounced in a light and humorous poetic form.