Let’s get in position: you’ve been staying with someone for a few months. The interaction is good and fluid, talking every day through WhatsApp and staying from time to time. But one day, you send a message and it receives no response. what should we do for ghosting after serious relationship.
Days go by and this continues. You send another one, and another one, but although you know that the other person has seen them, he doesn’t answer. Moreover, two days later you realize that it has blocked you, and you never know more.
What happened? Basically the person has intentionally cut off all contact with you. This is a case of ghosting after serious relationship, an increasingly widespread phenomenon that can have significant psychological repercussions.
What Is Ghosting?
On a social level (since there is another phenomenon with the same name linked to the superimposition of images) it is understood as ghosting that situation in which a person, suddenly, voluntarily ceases contact with another with whom he had some prior communication as way to end this relationship.
It is, in other words, to disappear completely from the life of another person without telling him anything or notifying him of the end of the interactions.
Ghosting is a practice that has become popular with the advent of social networks , especially with the emergence of networks such as WhatsApp and Telegram or social networks such as Facebook.
But although the term has become popular now, it is not something as new as it may seem: what is now done in social networks was formerly done by telephone, for example not answering calls.
It is a phenomenon especially prevalent in applications to link or meet people , getting tired of one part of the interaction and ignoring the other’s attempts to communicate.
However, it does not only occur in this type of application, but it can also occur among people who have known each other for a long time.
For the ghosting to occur, it is necessary that there be a previous real communication (it would not be considered as such that it had never answered us or that there was no fluid communication, no matter how much one of the parties had tried to contact).
There is another similar way of acting, the so-called “slow fade”, in which the people who practice it also cease contact with the other but in a much more gradual way.
Small oversights and difficulties in seeing or speaking attributable to things like work or having things to do more and more frequently until communication ceases.
It is a type of disappearance that suggests to those who practice it that has not abandoned the relationship, avoiding to some extent the feeling of guilt that could cause the relationship to cease directly.
However, this does not mean that everyone who reduces their level of communication with us is trying to disappear from our lives: it may be that for various circumstances they really cannot pay attention or prioritize other things.
Causes Of This Phenomenon
Defined ghosting after serious relationship, one may wonder why this attitude. The truth is that the reasons that each person can have to carry it out can be very different.
One of the main causes is social: we have become accustomed to maintaining superficial relationships and having a rather individualistic stance. Let us value relationships less and do not usually deepen them too much.
In addition, new technologies offer us the possibility of not offering an answer as an answer, something that people have become accustomed to. Many of the people who practice it see it even normal, being used to this kind of behavior.
However, with exceptions, it usually indicates a lack of education or an attempt to escape from a relationship. It is also related to the increasing difficulty for the empathy of individualistic societies. Below are some possible causes of ghosting.
1. Fear / Run away
One of the parties involved may have done or said something that has damaged, offended or frightened the other, wanting to immediately cease communication .
It is also a possible valid response in cases of harassment or to end toxic relationships . Sometimes it can also be used in people who remind us of these experiences or people or situations that have hurt us.
2. Absence Of Interest
Another option, much more frequent, is that the person who ceases contact has lost without any interest, or that this has never been too high and does not really value the contact with the other .
Also that there was another person to prioritize, or even not want to make clear the end of the relationship just in case at some point the opportunity reappeared. This is frequent when the contact with the other person is recent and there is no true link between the two, as is the case with flirting applications.
3. Conflict Avoidance
Another option, which occurs especially when ghosting occurs to end a more or less established relationship or in people.
It is based on the fear of harming or facing and seeing how the communication of the termination of the relationship causes discomfort in the another person , having difficulty in determining to make the other person see that the relationship is to cease.
Not knowing how to face what the other can say, or avoid the discomfort of seeing how the other suffers, are usually reasons why ghosting can appear. So it can also be a way to avoid the discomfort of seeing the other go wrong. There may also be a belief that this procedure generates less pain and a feeling of rejection in the other.
It can also be understood as a somewhat immature form of punishment : disappearing from someone’s life without saying why it can be seen as a way to harm the other person and forget about it, as in some cases of infidelity.
Ghosting is a practice that can have a series of repercussions on the sufferer. Although in the case of someone little known or a superficial contact does not pass a slight discomfort and anger, but it can be very painful if we are talking about someone who we really value for a long time.
An example of this is found in the sudden cessation of communication of more or less consolidated couples or highly valued friendships. And the fact that someone suddenly ceases a contact can generate great anguish.
The person who is waiting for contact may feel great pain when ignored, feeling someone despised.
In addition, it must face the uncertainty of what has happened, something that in many cases is unknown, and the lack of response and why the situation seems unfair and disproportionate. In cases of long relationships, the subject may go through a grieving phase.
The ghosting leaves the subject with the uncertainty of what has happened and if the relationship has ended or not, leaving him insecure and producing more prolonged pain.
It also makes it difficult for me to trust later relationships: if they have suddenly abandoned me and without waiting for me, it can easily happen again.
In addition to this, people suffering from depression, anxiety or previous self-esteem problems can see their fears and negative thoughts exacerbated and confirmed when they feel abandoned.
Whoever ceases contact may have regrets, or he may incorporate ghosting into his behavioral repertoire (if he did not already have it) and carry it out more frequently to cease unwanted relationships.
On the other hand, those people who carry it out for fear and avoidance of conflict do not face such fear, prolonging it and even worsening it by being able to fix this behavior as a habitual pattern.
What To Do Before Someone Who Ignores Us?
Ghosting is, today, a frequent reality that many people are going to face sooner or later. It is something that can be difficult to react to.
It is recommended that in the first place we do not jump to hasty conclusions, since at the end of the day something may have happened that does not or may not be eager to answer without really wanting to disappear from the life of the other. You can try to send a message after a while asking if it’s okay.
However, if time passes and the person still does not answer, it is time to start accepting that they may have lost interest. It is about recognizing it, and (although it may be more difficult than it seems) after that stop trying to contact.
We must try to think and work to realize that this end is not our fault or our decision. If it occurs in a relationship that was fluid it is easy that we need an explanation, but we have to try to stop looking for it: the other person has no intention to offer it to us and we have to continue with our life.
It is also important that we do not identify that behavior as normal, and that we ensure that this fact does not harm future relationships: not everyone will do the same to us.
And although we may initially feel very bad, it is advisable not to stop doing activities or lock up, but continue to pursue our goals and try to enjoy our leisure.
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Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.