Ex blocked me. Couple breakups have never been easy. And although we all want to show that we can take it as adults and rational people, our emotions have a lot to say. This to remain as friends is not so simple. Despite the fact that we want to hide it, it is very hard for that person who has played such an important role in our lives to suddenly stop doing it, just as it is to “unhook” from it, and even more so with the scope of social networks.
So sometimes the best remedy is to block that person. If you find yourself in this situation and want to understand it better, keep reading this Bigmatrimonial article which explains why your ex has blocked you from all sides and what you can do about it.
Social networks during a couple breakup
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The emergence of social networks and applications dedicated to instant messaging, such as Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram or Twitter, has facilitated many improvements in interpersonal communication, but it has also increased surveillance and behavior control behaviors through the internet.
The use of social networks during a couple breakup is conditioned by the “social network ideology”, defined as a set of beliefs about communication technologies, with which users explain the perceived structure and meaning of networks. That is, beliefs about what they have to be used for, how they should be used, etc. These ideologies influence how people react on different social networks.
Another factor related to the behavior people adopt after a breakup is the type of attachment they tend to establish in their relationships. Avoidant attachment is associated with minimizing contact with the ex-partner, while ambivalent or anxious attachment is associated with increased concern for her, higher levels of stress, and more frequent attempts to get back into the relationship. This type of attachment is also associated with unwanted chasing behavior after the breakup, ranging from persistent attempts to contact the ex-partner to attempts to get back with her, even if she is not interested.
My ex has deleted my number
People are curious beings, so “stalking” or gossiping to some extent the ex-partner just after a romantic breakup is understandable. Virtually everyone does. In addition, social networks and messaging applications make it very easy for members of the ex-partner to stay in communication, even if they are not communicating directly, remaining “friends” on social networks often makes one see or receive images or information about the life of his ex-partner. And this can be a problem when trying to overcome the relationship.
Apart from curiosity, uncertainty plays a key role, which grows when ending a relationship that provided you with security. At that time we are more vulnerable and emotional, so it is difficult to stay rational and know how to discern which behaviors are healthier and which ones are harming us the most. It has been found that young people who monitor their partners more through the internet experience more stress in the breakup, and that stress, in turn, predicts the behavior of monitoring or controlling the ex-partner immediately after the breakup, over all for those who had not started it.
Thus, technology is a double-edged sword, since on the one hand it can alleviate individual curiosity in the short term, but on the other it simultaneously influences the development of unhealthy behaviors through repeated review of what the ex-partner does. Given these behaviors, sometimes the best option is to cut the contact for the sake of it: delete the number, delete or block that person who previously saw himself as someone permanent in the life of one. But there may be more reasons why an ex will block you. We see them in the next section.
Why my ex has blocked me
Eliminating or blocking the ex-partner is one of the most popular mechanisms for dealing with the stress or pain caused by the breakup. There can be several reasons to do it, let’s see some:
- To better deal with pain. It is possible that, although your ex does not look for it on purpose, they will continue to appear and see your stories, publications, states, publications, photos, etc., something that does not really help to better handle the breakup or to overcome yourself. So once blocked, all your updates stop showing up and it can alleviate suffering.
- So as not to torture yourself. It could be that not only did you inadvertently see what you hang, but, as we have explained in the previous section, it follows you and actively searches for you to see what you do and how you continue with your life. This is a behavior that greatly hinders the ability to recover, so it is best to prevent yourself from seeing all those posts blocking you.
- Because she feels watched. In one study, it was seen how the vast majority of participants admitted that after a breakup they stalked and even closely monitored all the activity of their ex-partners on social networks. The person may feel watched and burdened and decide to block you to end this situation.
- To put more distance between you. Perhaps blocking yourself is the only way she has found to go ahead and put a necessary distance between you, especially if one of the members of the couple is tempted to speak to the other to return or to continue with the harmful dynamics that led you to to break.
Is it better to remove your ex from whatsapp?
Determining whether or not it is better to eliminate your ex from WhatsApp or other social networks depends on how you carry the break, and the use you make of WhatsApp and the networks in relation to your ex. The research done so far suggests that maintaining contact with the ex-partner may inhibit the individual’s ability to overcome the breakup. Therefore, what is generally recommended is to cut the contact , although it will depend on each case.
It is especially recommended to remove your ex from WhatsApp and the like in the event of a series of behaviors:
- Re-read and over-analyze old messages or publications . These messages can bring back painful memories and lead us to dwell on the past or try to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. It is best to delete these messages and delete the contact with the ex.
- Use common friends as an excuse to remain friends with your ex, even if this means torturing yourself by following the ex-partner’s updates.
- Write or call your ex every time you are struck by a sea of nostalgia and grief. Having such quick and easy access to that person does not help stop those waves of sadness from coming.
- Follow everything the couple does on social networks : what hangs, who likes it and who gives it, etc., since, as we have previously commented, it is counterproductive behavior that makes it difficult for us to overcome the breakup.
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and make the decision that is really healthier, even if it is to eliminate or block our ex. Quitting being friends with your ex doesn’t mean weakness or immaturity. There is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from someone who is no longer good for you, and at the end of the day, you have to do what helps you be better.
This article ex blocked me is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.