Did you think that the only way to be unfaithful was to sleep with someone other than your partner? Well, I have a big surprise, you can also fool someone without touching anyone else.
The emotional infidelity is a kind of betrayal in which, while not have sexual contact with a partner other than the actual person, we create an emotional connection with her and emotionally our heart is on your side.
For example, you have been with your partner for several years and everything is beautiful and perfect. However, suddenly you meet someone with whom you share many hobbies, have things in common that you may not have with your spouse or simply enjoy spending more time with this other person.
Then, unconsciously you begin to fall in love or, at least, to have affectionate feelings for her that are not exactly like what you would have for a friend, but that they enter a different terrain. Simply put: you really like it.
However, as a serious and respectful person of your relationship, you do not dare to let things go to a physical level. Although this does not happen, you are still being unfaithful, since you are having feelings for someone who is not your partner.
Friendship or Infidelity
We should not interpret that it is forbidden to have a friend of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship. In fact, it is healthy for the relationship you have someone to tell your problems to avoid dangerous monotony.
The real problem is when that new “friend” begins to take the place of your better half. If that person starts stealing your thoughts and you share things with him that you would not like to share with your spouse, then the situation begins to become an emotional adventure.
If that information is also intimate, treating your sexual experiences, for example, the deception is strengthened.
Signs Of Emotional Infidelity
Be honest with yourself, if those “friendly” encounters begin to be secret, it’s because deep down you know you’re doing something wrong.
If you are more cautious and are talking on the phone with your “friend” and stop when your partner approaches, then it is more obvious that you are being emotionally unfaithful.
Another obvious sign of emotional infidelities is when you start distancing yourself from your partner. Suddenly you no longer communicate in the same way, nor do you share the same things and you simply do not give it the priority you previously attributed to it.
Due to the lack of physical and emotional approach with your partner, problems begin to appear in the relationship and, instead of trying to solve them, you feel that it is a struggle that you do not want to face, possibly because you already have strong feelings formed by the third or third in discord.
Once the sentimental distancing occurs, you will go on to express it in the physical plane: you no longer feel like spending time with your partner or sexual desire for it. At this point it is likely that emotional infidelity is one step away from being physical or at least more intimate.
Forms Of Emotional Infidelity
The concept of infidelity has been modified today to accommodate this definition. In principle, any sentimental or thought contact you have with a person other than your partner is emotional betrayal .
With advances in telecommunications, today it is possible to share much more than words with a person using the smartphone, tablets or computers.
With the birth of terms such as sexting, new ways of being unfaithful have also emerged and none of them implies having direct physical contact with another person, although emotional or symbolic contact.
In addition to the example we set out above, there are other forms of infidelity that you may ignore and do not know what you are committing. The most common would be:
Exchange Intimate Messages With Another Person
It is considered infidelity or betrayal of the couple, since the exchange of these types of messages will possibly make you feel sexual desire for that person.
Although there is no physical contact, if these messages increase a bit, you can have what is now known as “telephone sex.” Telephone sex consists of sending erotic messages and getting excited at a distance, sometimes you can even get to masturbation thinking about that other person.
Have Erotic Encounters Via Webcam
Another form of emotional infidelity is when you experience eroticism through a video call.
Although there is no contact, you will be showing part of your privacy to a person outside your relationship.
Sneaking Out With Another Person
Although they never have more contact than a simple hug, it is emotional deception to have appointments with someone strange to the relationship, since during these meetings very strong feelings will be generated that are considered as infidelity.
If on top of that they share things that you hide from your partner, betrayal is more than evident.
We can continue enumerating situations in which emotional infidelity occurs, but in general terms, any sentimental, thought or any hidden encounter can be considered as infidelity.
You may find it difficult to accept at first, but if you think about it, you will realize that, indeed, you are being unfaithful to your partner.
Just think carefully. Have you ever told your partner that she is the only owner of your thoughts? Well, if another person takes possession of them, you will be breaking that promise, or what is the same, being unfaithful.
Why Does Emotional Infidelity Occur?
As with all infidelities, it is difficult to determine a single cause that generates it. Each person is a world and therefore each one will have a different motive for committing such an infidelity.
However, we can mention some possible causes since the only difference with traditional infidelity is the lack of physical contact between individuals.
It is normal that if a relationship falls into monotony, one of the parties is curious or need to experience new things. If you were to propose to change the routine to your partner and this ignores you, you may be tempted to start doing new things with another person.
As in traditional infidelity, sexual dissatisfaction can make you betrayally betray your partner. That is why you are looking for new ways to experiment sexually with another person, perhaps not in a physical but virtual way as we saw in the previous examples.
Evade The Relationship
After being in a relationship for years, some people feel repressed and, just like when they fall into monotony, they want to savor new experiences with other people, which will not necessarily be of a sexual nature.
However, being deeply involved with your spouse, you do not want to end the relationship altogether, so your actions take place in secret.
Of course, there are people who are simply unfaithful because they are, almost by sport. They may have been in a relationship for a long time, but at some point they want to go back and seek new ways in which their behavior is not categorized as treason.
You may find it difficult to understand, but there are people who are polyamorous. They can truly love more than one person.
Opinions Divided About It
If we go to the street, we will find two currents of opinions with solid arguments to support the position of whether or not it is emotional deception. You would be surprised to see how many people think differently about the subject.
Those who think it is a hoax argue that the unfaithful spouse has the same behavior as any adult person. Virtual meetings generally occur in secret and tend to ignore the hidden nature of their actions.
The symptoms, in relation to a physical betrayal, are identical if we transfer them to the treatment of the current couple. The infidel will move away, begin to make the relationship rougher and make it difficult for him to approach his spouse.
Depending on the reasons that lead to infidelity, you can even get to verbally attack the other person with clear intentions to hurt your self-esteem.
They also argue that between thinking and doing there is a very fine thread.
That person who is being emotionally unfaithful is not far from consummating treason in a physical encounter, since the sensations that are generated in their sneak encounters are very strong, almost as much as if there were real physical contact.
On the other hand, there are those who think that emotional infidelity is not treason in any way. His argument is that his actions are not being adulterous, since at no time is there physical contact between individuals.
Moreover, many of these meetings occur at a distance and never even share the same space.
Anyway, some people have already determined that, whether or not there is physical contact, this type of link can also be considered an infidelity, but … what do you think? Which side do you position yourself on?
Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.