We must learn to love ourselves enough to escape a dysfunctional relationship, understanding this as all those relationships that cause us discomfort or continually fill us with doubts. They can be relationship partner or otherwise.
We are so used to looking for romantic love that only the possibility of suffering a heartbreak already plunges us into a deep disappointment. However, we must accept that love relationships do not always go as expected.
Your Self-Love Above All
Who does not love you, does not deserve you. And who does not yield to your expectations, waiting for you to always be the part that sacrifices, does not love you. This is a rule that we must burn in our heads, although in part our hearts freeze just thinking about it.
There are many people who endure the ordeal of feeling tied to a dysfunctional relationship every day . Sometimes, they don’t even know it, but their life is really ungrateful and unhappy.
What Do You Need To Know If A Relationship Is Dysfunctional?
- Be yourself.
- Know what you need from your partner and for your life
- Loving you enough not to be tied to any person who doesn’t value you enough.
- Have a good communication with your partner.
- A relationship that is enriching for you.
Instructions To Know If A Relationship Is Dysfunctional
Each of us is different, because we have our personality, our tastes and needs. We cannot be judged or judge others.
They teach us that love is unpredictable, that it arises when we don’t expect it and, sometimes, we fall in love with the people we would have least thought of. This is not bad. There may be love between different people.
Now that romantic idea of love does not work in real life. It is really nothing practical, because although it can fit at the beginning of a relationship, in the early stages of falling in love.
However, in the long run and for a relationship to work, it is necessary to adapt to a series of conditions that guarantee a balance in the relationship.
The couples who progress is because they have managed to reach this balance, often negotiating their differences and with large doses of tolerance, respect and affection towards each other. What happens when this balance is not reached?
The Couple Is A Matter Of Two
The easy thing is to think that when there is not enough tolerance, respect and affection to give in to the other and achieve balance in the couple, the relationship ends. And this is what should happen.
But there are people who are not willing to give up so soon and instead of ending the relationship they insist on continuing “trying”, even if only she is giving everything without receiving anything in return from the other.
The result is that months and years go by and, as time goes by, the relationship not only continues and does so without reaching that necessary balance, but also creating a sense of dependence and frustration.
Often, self-deception prevails and the person truly believes that he is happy, but nothing is further from reality. The relationship can become really toxic and even dangerous in extreme cases.
We need relationships that are enriching for us. All couples will go through good times and also bad times, this is true, as it is also normal that between couples appear conflicts and friction product of coexistence.
Not even the marriages that have managed to reach the idyllic record of the golden wedding have been spared having had the occasional fight between spouses. But, in order to have a healthy relationship, the balance must always lean more towards well-being than towards suffering.
How Do I Know If My Relationship Is Dysfunctional?
First of all, we want to clarify that in the fact that a relationship is dysfunctional does not mean that neither partner is bad.
It is simply that, sometimes, the differences between people are irreconcilable or that, for whatever reason, the couple has not worked as they should, but it may happen that the two people remain friends and have a great affection for each other.
Whatever the reasons, if a relationship does not work , it makes no sense to continue it. But sometimes we are obsessed with that love we feel for the other that we don’t want to see reality.
Social stereotypes also do not collaborate, because the image continues to be sold that to be happy you have to be in a couple and that love can do everything.
Sometimes, even family and friends meddle too much in our love relationships without really knowing how things happened, because they don’t live with us.
There are five factors that determine that a relationship is dysfunctional:
- There is no communication: couples have to talk and they have to be able to talk about everything between them, without fear and without prejudice. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your partner, or she doesn’t want to talk to you, then the relationship can never be a healthy relationship.
- There is a lot of tension: we repeat what has been said before, among the best couples there may be some conflicts throughout their relationship. But if you are continually confronted with discomforts and bad rolls then there is no partner. The couple must support each other, can not be creating discomfort in the other.
- Fights: the fights of lovers last a few minutes and, immediately, comes the reconciliation because both die to be well with the other. When these fights go on for days or are continued the thing is different. They are not fights of lovers, but they denote great differences that make living together or the relationship impossible.
- You are not compatible: it is good that each one has his personality and, at all, the personality of one has to annul the other. But if you don’t share anything with each other, how are you going to have a common project? Do not answer that this will be seen, because the magic in love vanishes soon, so no fairy godmother will come to make everything go well. Life is not a fairy tale, nor are there princesses or princes.
- If there is discomfort: love (or relationships in general) are born because two people feel comfortable in the company of each other. If, on the contrary, what is there is discomfort then that relationship does not suit.
- Abuse: this is a word that should never be present in anyone’s life. However, sometimes we suffer, or even violate, and we don’t even realize it. Every relationship should enrich the other bilaterally. Abuse, whether physical or moral, you should never accept or practice it. Under no circumstance.
Tips To Know If A Relationship Is Dysfunctional
- If you feel bad in a relationship, break up with her.
- If your partner makes you feel inferior, break up with her.
- You and your partner have to talk a lot and do it in total in confidence.
- You and your partner must support each other.
- Your partner should enrich your life, not impoverish it. And you do the same with her.
- Never let anyone abuse. And do not abuse others.
- Ask yourself if there is a balance in your relationship.Being in a dysfunctional relationship will never make you happy and, to this world we have come to be happy. Think that there are many more people in the world and do not feel dependence on anyone.
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Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.