There are decisions that are very important in life because they involve another person and because they have an impact in the future. Marriage is an example of a decision that can fit this example. Sometimes it happens that the way in which the person visualizes her life from the “yes I want” to how she really feels after a while is not the same.
The protagonist may feel the inner struggle to regret having married but have hope that something will change at some point or, conversely, be clear about this absolute certainty within him. If you find yourself in a similar situation, in Bigmatrimonial we reflect on this question:” I regret having married: what do I do?“, Then we guide you in the search for an answer.
What to do if you regret having married? 6 tips
Here are some ideas:
1. Why do you regret having married?
The more specific your answer to this question, the greater level of clarity you can achieve in this situation. You can not only find the key to this answer based on the origin but also the consequences that this supposed mistake has produced in your life and in that of the other person.
2. What can you do before separating?
Before making a final decision it is positive that you get involved in this story to be clear that the end of it has occurred because it was definitely the best thing for both of you. For example, doing couples therapy is an emotional intelligence decision at such a time. For what reason? A therapy does not guarantee that the relationship comes out stronger from this story in terms of love and commitment, however, it will come out stronger when it comes to making a decision with more clarity and perspective.
3. Talk to someone you trust
Talking about it will help you increase your level of resilience in this situation, however, before doing so, think carefully about who you want to share this information with. That is someone discreet and who knows how to respect your privacy from the confidentiality of a private conversation. Knowing someone else’s reflections can help you more than you think when you’re locked in your own point of view.
4. Face the situation
It is not an easy decision or a simple moment, however, just as this love story made you show your best version at the moment of infatuation, now you can do the same by acting coherently with what you feel from of these circumstances. This discomfort is not going to be solved by looking the other way or acting from indifference.
5. Take time to think
That this thought arises is already significant in itself, however, it is even more so when it is maintained over time. Try to give yourself a deadline to reflect on this reality. Maybe you can take a trip for a few days to get away from your usual routine.
6. Legal advice
This situation can not only be observed from the emotional point of view, but also, from the point of view of the law. Therefore, consult any doubt that you have on this matter with a matrimonial lawyer.
Why do you regret having married? Six possible causes
Each story is unique and unrepeatable, therefore, there can be as many reasons for repentance as there are different protagonists.
Why am i unhappy in my marriage
Here are five possible causes:
- Ongoing discussions. Coexistence is difficult when the common thread of the discussions is a constant norm among you. That is, loneliness hurts you despite being in company. This means that a person can regret having married even despite loving their partner in the face of an unhappy coexistence. Arguing a lot with your partner about nonsense can be one of the most important factors in marriage unhappiness.
- You married for not canceling the wedding at the last moment due to the fear of facing the consequences of that decision and now you realize that it would have been better to notify all the guests that the link was suspended rather than continue with the yes I want.
- Your partner has changed so much in marriage compared to how he was in dating that you have the feeling of being with someone totally different from the one you fell in love with in the past. It can also happen that you are the one who has changed and, therefore, your priorities have also been transformed.
- Maybe you feel that you should have given yourself more time before getting married because maybe you made this decision in a hasty way in an ideal scenario of the first months of relationship.
- Fear of loneliness. Perhaps, a person has married believing that this decision is the most convenient for fear of not finding someone with whom she falls completely in love, if the urgency of the age was a common cause for concern.
- Emotional immaturity. Someone may realize after a while that when he made the decision to marry he was not fully aware of the meaning of this act and of the responsibility assumed in the marriage.
5 tips to take care of yourself if you regret having married
At such an emotionally complex moment we give you five tips to take care of yourself:
- Do not judge yourself negatively, think that at that time you acted from your reality then. At that moment you could not know what you know today.
- Live this situation from the perspective of learning since there are many lessons that you can get from this reality.
- Other people have also gone through similar circumstances. Although this pain is your pain, try not to make this situation a fact that positions you in the role of victim.
- Talk to your partner sincerely as you would like him to do with you since love starts from honesty.
- After a farewell there is always a new beginning. If you have made the decision to separate because you have realized that this is the best decision for you, continue your journey remembering that you are the most influential person in your destiny.
What is the best decision you can make? The one that gives you peace and tranquility.
This article is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.