If you notice that your partner is distant at the moment, you really feel that he has changed even his attitude with others or only with you and you feel really confused (or) because the fear of losing him and that he no longer feels the same has appeared in you For you, there are different reasons to take into account that do not necessarily imply that your partner no longer loves you. What to do if my partner is being distant in a relationship?
You may be wondering how to react to your partner. Therefore, in this article in Bigmatrimonial: what to do if my partner is distant or being distant in a relationship, we are going to give you a series of tips that will undoubtedly help you to cope with this situation.
Reasons why your partner may be distant
It is true that the fact that your attitude has changed may be an indicator that something is wrong , however there are several aspects to consider in order to finally determine what is happening.
Living a grieving process
If your partner is experiencing a grieving process right now, either because he has lost a loved one, because a relative or someone important to him has an illness, has lost his job, etc. It is normal for your partner to behave like this with you due to the intense pain he may be experiencing right now. This same pain can cause her attitude to change with you and / or with others, although generally the couple is the one who is most recent since they are the person closest to her (him).
Having passed the stage of falling in love
Taking into account that falling in love is temporary and has a time limit, another possible reason could be that your partner has passed this stage and therefore does not act in the same way with you, however, although his behavior is not so effusive, so to speak, like when I was in love and now you’re feeling this change. After infatuation comes the purest and most sincere unconditional love, so if your partner has entered this phase, even though you no longer feel that he is “crazy about you”, you should still feel respected and loved. If your partner after falling in love feels that love ended there, they may not want to take the step towards a more sincere and mature love.
If your partner has been under stress for some time, either because he has changed jobs, he has been promoted and now he has more responsibilities, things have not worked out for him lately, etc. It may be that you are so stressed right now that you have no head for anything other than resolving your conflicts and always thinking about your concerns.
If you notice that from a time to date your partner is distant with you, has strange behaviors that you did not have before, from one moment to another their schedules have changed and you are not used to doing the same as before, notes that something is hidden from you, etc.. There is a possibility that your partner is being unfaithful to you with another person.
If problems with your partner are the order of the day, they start fighting for anything, they cannot avoid arguments and they do not know how to solve them, so they are generally left unfinished, it is likely that your partner has begun to feel tired about this situation. You may think that your problems are never going to be solved or you don’t know how you can do it, so you choose to walk away and behave distantly with yourself.
What to do if my partner is distant?
After being clear about what happens to your partner, there are things you can do to improve this situation that is affecting you emotionally.
- Identify what may be happening. Pay attention to your partner’s attitude but especially to the facts and what is happening around him. Also determine at what moment she began to behave like this, if your behavior with her has also changed, among other things that may give you clues to know what is happening.
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- Talk to your partner. Let your partner know how you are feeling right now and how the situation has made you feel since you started noticing their behavior change. To do this you have to try to be as objective as possible, mention the facts that have really happened in terms of their attitude and not just rely on assumptions, tell them clearly and safely without getting angry or making complaints, ask them for explanations about their change of attitude and establish agreements to improve the situation. Improving communication in the couple is a fundamental step in this situation.
- Be patient and put yourself in their place. If you have talked to your partner about what is happening and / or you know that the reason why she is acting like this is for example because she has lost a loved one or is going through a difficult situation in her life, try to understand her Stop thinking that it is something that has to do with you and obsess about it, imagining that this situation will not change. Be patient in the relationship and help him overcome the difficult situation he is going through.
How to act before the indifference of your partner
Finally, if you want to know how to make your partner react, we recommend taking note of these tips:
- Are you sure that he has changed and not you? It may happen that without realizing it ourselves we are the ones who are changing our attitude with the partner and come to think that it is he (she) who is doing it. So if this is your case, your partner probably also notices you differently with her and that causes her to behave distantly or at least you feel that way.
- How long has it been like this? Keep in mind that people do not change their attitude like that because yes, this really has to carry a process where the person has gradually changed with you, in this case becoming more distant. So if for example a week ago everything was fine and now you notice that your attitude has changed, it is probably due to some recent situation such as being angry with you about something or simply not having a good week.
- Don’t adopt the same attitude. There are people who when noticing that their partner behaves in a way that affects and hurts them, because they do not know how to handle the situation or because of pride, they begin to behave the same way, thinking that in this way their partner will react and will change, however this is something that is negative and detrimental to the relationship. What we should do is speak to him honestly and tell him how his change of attitude makes us feel to reach a good solution, never choose to “pay him in the same currency.”
This article being distant in a relationship is merely informative, in Bigmatrimonial we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Eric Cameron is a passionate relationship coach and counselor with a focus on helping couples reconnect and build strong and lasting relationships. He has years of experience working with couples and helping them to understand the intricacies of healthy relationships. He also provides guidance on how to maintain a healthy relationship and deal with difficult topics. Eric’s approach is tailored specifically to the couple’s needs and he has a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon.