Long-distance relationships are increasingly a phenomenon in an interconnected and globalized world . The mass use of the Internet multiplies the opportunities to meet someone living in a distant country and, as always, love does not understand approaches based on the usefulness of starting a relationship with a person. In this article, we will discuss about 3 harsh facts long distance relationships and more.
However, some argue that the possibility of daily maintaining contact with someone who lives far away or who has the option to emigrate is actually a trap. On the one hand, it makes it possible to meet a lot more people, but on the other it easily leads to frustration. It is possible that several decades ago the practical impossibility of maintaining relationships at a distance led us to live more isolated, but at least those whom we knew, normally, we could see them more frequently, since they lived in the same town, city or region.
And it is that maintaining relationships at a distance is a psychological challenge.
Problems inherent to long-distance relationships
- Problems inherent to long-distance relationships
People in long-distance relationships often speak of the early stages as a period in which the illusion of falling in love is mixed with the anticipation of problems that will arise later from being separated from the partner. They feel “hooked” or “trapped” in an unforeseen situation but that little by little has become an extra concern: making the relationship viable.
All relationships in general can be the source of certain problems of greater or lesser intensity, but long-distance relationships, in particular, have some characteristics that make them more likely to encounter certain obstacles or uncomfortable situations. These are the main ones.
1. The uncertainty
The perception that the distance between two people is in itself a source of problems that will always be there as long as the relationship is at a distance is, paradoxically, another problem. This is so because it serves as an excuse for pessimistic thoughts to appear , anticipations of a traumatic love outcome or a rarefied environment that will gradually distance the members of the couple.
2. Possible source of lack of commitment
By assuming that the chances that the relationship will not prosper are high, it is more possible that the lovers are more reluctant to truly commit , because of what may happen. Somehow, our expectations about what will happen in the future affect how we feel in the present, causing us to “adapt” so that we are not so exposed to receiving a severe psychological blow.
This can be perceived by the other person as a lack of interest, which generates arguments and general discomfort.
Jealousy is not an essential ingredient in romantic relationships, but people predisposed to be jealous have their Achilles heel in long-distance relationships , in which information about what the other person is doing is scarce. If this jealousy passes a certain threshold, paranoid thoughts cause the person to adopt a possessive and totally toxic role, which hurts their partner.
4. Planning the meetings
The need to keep in mind a schedule of encounters in which the sacrifices made by both members of the couple are equal is a source of stress. In many cases it is a slight annoyance, but in other cases it can generate real stress crises combining studies and work with these breaks .
5. The feeling of guilt
In some long-distance relationships, the feeling of guilt is one of the frequent sources of discomfort . The reason is that sometimes some people believe that they are not doing enough to see their partner more often and to make the days spent being physically together well used.
Perfectionism and the desire to make these periods compensate for the annoyance of being apart for a long time often cause disappointment and frustration to see that the proposed (idealized) expectations have not been met.
6. Problems enjoying time together
The anticipation of the provisional goodbye means that on many occasions the time spent with the couple is not enjoyed . For example, if you plan a week-long getaway in a foreign country, sadness may take over the experience for the past two or three days .
This makes it more difficult to turn the moments together into something happy, which little by little is being associated with the unhappiness attributable to a partner that does not suit us.
7. Lack of physical contact
It is one of the great drawbacks, and it is based on the lack of moments of intimacy, eye contact and caresses that are usually necessary not only to feel good, but also to make the relationship mature and mutual knowledge is enriched thanks to non-language. verbal.
8. Limitations of communication channels
The communication channels through which contact is maintained in a long-distance relationship can present problems: infrequent telephone inquiries, lack of coverage, limitations in Internet access, etc. This can generate stressful situations at specific times when it is possible to think that the other person could be having problems.
On many occasions, the members of a long-distance relationship are in areas that are halfway from the places of residence of both, or they spend time together alone. This means that they do not get to know well the social circles in which the other person moves , losing the opportunity not only to make new friends but also to see the social aspect of their partner from another point of view.
10. The potential boredom
The aforementioned inconveniences, added to the fact that often time is spent alone, make these moments of direct contact occur in a context of isolation and, sometimes, a certain monotony. A cost-benefit analysis can make moments spent together seem insignificant or irrelevant.